Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3016926 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11201 on:** February 19, 2019, 09:47:39 AM »

When Hugh Hefner died ..

.. not a single person said "He's in a better place now"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11202 on:** February 19, 2019, 10:12:07 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11203 on:** February 19, 2019, 01:52:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11204 on:** February 19, 2019, 02:01:27 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11205 on:** February 19, 2019, 02:06:31 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11206 on:** February 19, 2019, 04:54:19 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11207 on:** February 19, 2019, 04:58:26 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11208 on:** February 20, 2019, 05:08:45 AM »

Ripped off! - Probably died from the stress of having his Pension cancelled!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11209 on:** February 20, 2019, 05:55:03 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11210 on:** February 20, 2019, 02:53:00 PM »

Whenever you purchase something from The Reject Shop, staff always try to increase their sales by offering their current special at the checkout.

This weeks discount was toothpaste. He threw in the towel when I gave him a toothless grin...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11211 on:** February 20, 2019, 02:59:10 PM »

Forget about the chicken...

A punnet of strawberries tried to cross the road, and caused a helluva traffic jam!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11212 on:** February 20, 2019, 04:12:15 PM »

A guy was limping down the bus when a young fellow jumped up from his seat and said "Here ya go, mate. .. you can have my seat!"
"No thanks mate, I'm OK"
The younger guy grabbed the older fellow, and pressed him into the seat.
"There now. Isn't that more comfortable than standing?"
"Well, yes ... but now we have passed my stop!"

Bodø · « **Reply #11213 on:** February 20, 2019, 04:23:20 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 20, 2019, 02:59:10 PM

Forget about the chicken...
A punnet of strawberries tried to cross the road, and caused a helluva traffic jam!

I don't expect that one to spread quick.

Flip · « **Reply #11214 on:** February 21, 2019, 12:42:08 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 20, 2019, 02:53:00 PM

Whenever you purchase something from The Reject Shop, staff always try to increase their sales by offering their current special at the checkout.

This weeks discount was toothpaste. He threw in the towel when I gave him a toothless grin...

JEZZZ !!! Kev - - - how did you become such an evil old basket case ?????

DAMN !!!! Almost forgot - - you had loose, green, baggy clothing for a while - - - didn't you ???

THAT explains everything !!!!

Flip

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11215 on:** February 21, 2019, 05:59:31 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11216 on:** February 21, 2019, 06:14:55 AM »

Barmaid stopped serving when the phone rang
"Hello?"
"Is that The Royal Exchange bar?"
"Yes it is"
"This is Bob. I hate to bother you, but I am trying to find my brother, Mike. Could you possibly give a call to the bar patrons, and find out if anyone has seen him today?"
"Thats not a problem, Bob. What's your surname?"
"Hunt."
"Ok, just one moment."
She took the phone away from her face, turned to the bar and called "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt today?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11217 on:** February 21, 2019, 06:29:36 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11218 on:** February 21, 2019, 06:35:46 AM »

My ex was a big lady.

She was so big that every time she walked past the tv, I had to rewind the movie about 4 minutes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11219 on:** February 21, 2019, 06:53:25 AM »

New Samsung phone will be available in Australia in June.

$2,399!

For a freaking PHONE?

Shillas · « **Reply #11220 on:** February 21, 2019, 08:48:42 AM »

That's a waste of good bike money

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11221 on:** February 21, 2019, 08:55:54 AM »

Too true!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11222 on:** February 21, 2019, 11:17:33 AM »

I thought 'Happy hour' commenced at 5 pm?

My buddy informed me that it is actually the hour after his kids go to bed, when he can watch TV without interruption.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11223 on:** February 21, 2019, 12:06:56 PM »

Selection of Trumpisms. (How to stuff your foot in your own mouth)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkjTgPbUNSs

Bodø · « **Reply #11224 on:** February 21, 2019, 12:11:37 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 21, 2019, 11:17:33 AM

I thought 'Happy hour' commenced at 5 pm?

My buddy informed me that it is actually the hour after his kids go to bed, when he can watch TV without interruption.

I do that at work.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3016926 times)

Bodø

Bodø