Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927576 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10450 on: January 18, 2019, 06:05:59 PM »
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Offline STeveo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10451 on: January 18, 2019, 06:09:42 PM »
 :rofl
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10452 on: January 18, 2019, 06:16:37 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10453 on: January 18, 2019, 08:28:32 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10454 on: January 18, 2019, 08:29:29 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10455 on: January 18, 2019, 08:32:07 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10456 on: January 18, 2019, 08:34:24 PM »
Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10457 on: January 18, 2019, 08:37:38 PM »
If Chuck Norris is late, time had better slow down.

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10458 on: January 18, 2019, 08:38:51 PM »
The 'Me too' movement updated...

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10459 on: January 19, 2019, 12:40:11 AM »
Why is it that the first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest to bear?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10460 on: January 19, 2019, 12:45:32 AM »
We should refer to 'AGE' as 'LEVELS', because "I'm at level 71" sounds more badass than just being old.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10461 on: January 19, 2019, 04:28:25 AM »
How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?

It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10462 on: January 19, 2019, 04:49:36 AM »
A friend of mine in the midwest of the USA sent me this pic.
Weather report said that was 8 inches of snow yesterday, but he measured it as only 6 inches deep.

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10463 on: January 19, 2019, 03:56:03 PM »
Channel 7 should be shut down for airing that disgusting series about low morals that they put on air 4 nights a week.
 
I don't know how it ever became so popular!  I'm referring to the 7 PM program about that woman called Ho Mandaway.
 
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Offline Flip

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10464 on: January 19, 2019, 04:04:36 PM »
Channel 7 should be shut down for airing that disgusting series about low morals that they put on air 4 nights a week.
 
I don't know how it ever became so popular!  I'm referring to the 7 PM program about that woman called Ho Mandaway.


HUH ??????    :think1



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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10465 on: January 19, 2019, 07:28:12 PM »
Channel 7 should be shut down for airing that disgusting series about low morals that they put on air 4 nights a week.
 
I don't know how it ever became so popular!  I'm referring to the 7 PM program about that woman called Ho Mandaway.


HUH ??????    :think1



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That took some time to get as I don't watch it, but Home and Away. :fp

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10466 on: January 19, 2019, 08:32:03 PM »
I don't watch it either but picked it up straight away.  No one is forced to watch it, if it doesn't appeal to you Kev you can always switch off.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10467 on: January 19, 2019, 08:39:08 PM »
 :grin me and my puns...
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10468 on: January 20, 2019, 03:59:58 AM »
First World frivolous complaints.

I vacuumed two spiders and now I'm afraid to turn the vacuum off.

The free wifi here is slower than my mobile data.

I went to target today and the automatic door wasn't working, so I had to use the manual one.

Too hot with sweater on, too cold without it.

I could have slept for another 5 minutes this morning.

My iPhone 8 is on backorder so I have to keep using my 7 like a caveman.

I really want to complain but I've forgotten what I want to complain about.

I use Google Chrome, so my lack of need to go to the Google domain causes me to miss most of the special occasion logos.

I want the new iPhone, but my contract isn't up until next year.

I overcooked the Bacon.

My favorite bands are playing at different music festivals on the same weekend.

Someone paid me by check, so now I have to go to the bank to deposit it.

I have excellent health insurance, but I'm too healthy to get any benefit from it.

I got a haircut and now everyone is saying, "Hey did you got a haircut?"

My cigarette ran out of batteries.

The cleaning lady stole my mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it.

My house is too big for the wifi to reach my bedroom.

My friends guest room has a sleep number bed that won't allow me to change the setting.
I'm comfortable, but I'll never know if I could be more comfortable.

I'm so poor. I've only got enough money for rent, food and 10 nights out this month.

The pizza guy can't find my house so now I have to stand outside and wave like an idiot.

My towel is still wet from my first shower today.

I can't find a reason to buy an iPad, I just want one.

The WiFi on my flight is not fast enough to watch YouTube videos.

The green light was too short this morning and I was forced to feel guilty for not giving money to the homeless guy.

My smartphone changes "lol" to "LOL" making me sound more amused than I actually am.

I never have enough time to sleep. Also, I never have enough time to play video games because I have to sleep.

It's too hot in my room with the fan off, and too loud with the fan on, so I can't sleep.

Where I work is so close to my home that I can't hear a complete song while driving there.

I poured just the right amount of cereal, but there was so little left in the box that I had to pour and eat the rest of it too.

My friend cancelled his Netflix account that I used, so now I have to pay for my own.

The Pepsi machine was out of order so I had to get a Coke.

The gym is calling my name, but my bed is holding me captive.

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target, now people won't stop asking me where things are.

There's to much salt on my popcorn so now I have to get a drink.

I gave my dog some bacon and now he won't stop following me around the house

The next kleenex didn't pop up.

There are so many dishes in the sink I can't fill my pitcher.

I want to listen to music on the bus but I ran into someone I know.

Google does not know what I mean.

I want to eat more, but I am already full.

I am too skinny to have my belt end at one belt loop and too fat to have it end at another.

I bought an iPhone 8, now none of my friends have chargers I can borrow.

My girlfriend has been out with more women than I have.

My car lost its new car smell.

I don't have unlimited data.

Community college is nothing like the TV show.

There's too much money in my wallet, so it's uncomfortable to sit on.

I forgot my old password, so now I have to reset it using an uppercase letter and a number.

I'm not within walking distance of a Starbucks.

The air conditioning in my house makes me too cold. The heater makes me too hot.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10469 on: January 20, 2019, 07:00:00 AM »
A guy had a mute guard dog that he named 'Vampire', because he was all bite and no bark.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10470 on: January 20, 2019, 07:03:33 AM »
Two ghosts went into a bar, the Barman asked "What'll you have?"

"Some of your best top-shelf boos, please!"
« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 07:27:05 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10471 on: January 20, 2019, 07:10:46 AM »
A magician walked into the fish market, and the vendor called "Pick a cod, any cod!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10472 on: January 20, 2019, 07:25:23 AM »
After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride. You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply for a job.

You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams. You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this, and then you tell me.............. I CAN'T PRAY?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10473 on: January 20, 2019, 10:22:04 AM »
My wife and I decided we don't want any children.

If anybody else does, we can drop them off tomorrow morning.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10474 on: January 20, 2019, 06:04:38 PM »
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