Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2922358 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12100 on: April 29, 2019, 09:57:44 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12101 on: April 30, 2019, 12:10:26 AM »
I called my ex 'Treasure', because she reminded me of something that should have been buried long ago.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12102 on: April 30, 2019, 12:13:03 AM »
I watched a movie on TV. It was one of those suspense ones.

It kept you wondering... what's on the other channels?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12103 on: April 30, 2019, 04:00:24 AM »
I booked into a guest house.

The manager asked, "You want a room with running water?"

I replied, "What do you think I am? A bloody trout?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12104 on: April 30, 2019, 04:02:59 AM »
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said,:
 
'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12105 on: April 30, 2019, 04:06:57 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12106 on: April 30, 2019, 08:56:04 AM »
My Mother-in-law said, "When you're dead, I'll dance on your grave."

I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12107 on: April 30, 2019, 11:46:38 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12108 on: April 30, 2019, 11:59:09 AM »
Morrison / Shorten debate.

So little time, so many advantageous lies untruths "political distortions"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12109 on: April 30, 2019, 12:09:27 PM »
My mailbox was crammed with political advertising this morning.

Gimmee a break,

I don't need any new 'Bills' in my life.

No 'Mor' bullcrap, either.

Easy to 'Palm' them all off, and certainly won't make the grass any 'green'er, or bending towards 'Poor'lene.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12110 on: April 30, 2019, 12:15:08 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12111 on: April 30, 2019, 12:20:43 PM »
Doc, how can I increase my chances of living a longer life?"

"Give up smoking, drinking, and spending so much time sitting on the couch in front of the TV.
Its also a good idea if you and your wife move in with your in-laws as well."

"Will this really increase my chances of living longer?"

"Well, no ... but it will make it feel that way!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12112 on: April 30, 2019, 01:34:33 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12113 on: April 30, 2019, 04:58:48 PM »
A patient asks the dentist "Isn't it nasty to spend all day with your hands in someone else's mouth"

The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12114 on: April 30, 2019, 06:50:15 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12115 on: April 30, 2019, 06:54:36 PM »
When it comes down you can come and see the violet crumble.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12116 on: April 30, 2019, 07:02:20 PM »
It won't be a Picnic. those poor kids will go Bananas.
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12117 on: April 30, 2019, 08:00:10 PM »
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12118 on: April 30, 2019, 08:06:12 PM »
Good one Michael  :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12119 on: April 30, 2019, 10:42:32 PM »
Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew!, Thank God! ...  I thought you said 'A Protestant'!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12120 on: April 30, 2019, 11:01:32 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12121 on: April 30, 2019, 11:02:48 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12122 on: April 30, 2019, 11:06:40 PM »
What did the newly graduated Law student say to the Solicitor?

"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order please?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12123 on: April 30, 2019, 11:17:11 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12124 on: April 30, 2019, 11:17:46 PM »
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?

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