Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059550 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12131 on:** May 01, 2019, 10:50:07 AM »

Nick sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked Nick shockingly. "What's the terrible news?"
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12132 on:** May 01, 2019, 12:54:34 PM »

Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12133 on:** May 01, 2019, 02:11:36 PM »

Why does sour cream have an expiry date?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12134 on:** May 01, 2019, 02:18:39 PM »

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12135 on:** May 01, 2019, 02:20:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12136 on:** May 01, 2019, 05:00:47 PM »

I met a girl named Harper who was living in a homeless shelter just 3 weeks ago. I offered her the opportunity to share my flat, which she readily accepted.

Since moving in, she has now decided to share my bed, which I understand is a great show of trust from her.

My other cat, Shadow, was very dubious of having another female move in, but they have settled their differences, and now play together.

This is Harper, she is now 14 months old.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12137 on:** May 01, 2019, 10:11:52 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12138 on:** May 02, 2019, 12:08:53 AM »

Crazy Americans ... they're thinking about banning toy guns - and they're gonna keep the real ones??

NTRebel · « **Reply #12139 on:** May 02, 2019, 01:27:52 AM »

Morning Kev are you keeping dry.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12140 on:** May 02, 2019, 02:02:35 AM »

Morning Paul. Clouds tramping around in their thunderwear outside and showers, but no volume in it.
Just enough rain to dampen the Political junk mail in the letterbox so that it shreds easy.

Looks a bit damp your way as well.

NTRebel · « **Reply #12141 on:** May 02, 2019, 02:08:47 AM »

Just a few tinkles. I could p harder.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12142 on:** May 02, 2019, 02:15:03 AM »

We only had around 6 mm since 7pm, but I see that Stawell near the Grampians copped almost 70 mm

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12143 on:** May 02, 2019, 02:40:31 AM »

Damn! .. One of the drawbacks of using a VPN, and re-routing my internet connection through other countries?

Just got an email from the IRS demanding that I call them immediately (on an international number) as the FBI has issued an arrest warrant for tax evasion.

BRING IT ON!

(I think its very decent that the IRS allows people to pay their tax bill via iTunes debit cards or bitcoin)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12144 on:** May 02, 2019, 03:20:28 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12145 on:** May 02, 2019, 04:42:16 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12146 on:** May 02, 2019, 10:44:13 AM »

Sunrise this morning on 7.

A doctor was explaining about the health hazards of household mould.

What a fun guy!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12147 on:** May 02, 2019, 02:32:03 PM »

Stupid email... Claims my name is on a McDonalds voucher for $1000 credit...

I have spent less than twenty dollars at maccas in the past three years! ... at that rate, it would last almost 200 years!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12148 on:** May 02, 2019, 04:18:13 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12149 on:** May 02, 2019, 06:47:53 PM »

I am totally pissed off with yet ANOTHER unwanted text message from Clive Palmer.

Sent an email back at them. Enough is enough!

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059550 times)