Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063728 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11153 on:** February 16, 2019, 02:53:47 PM »

Decided to get some seafood, tide is going out, a great time for crabbing.

The misses called "Where are you off to?"

I replied "I'm going to catch some crabs!"

Didn't have any luck, but when I returned she had packed all her gear and gone home to her mother, so the day wasn't a total waste.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11154 on:** February 16, 2019, 03:02:27 PM »

If you want to travel the world, see the sights, do so before retirement.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11155 on:** February 16, 2019, 06:48:47 PM »

His Fitbit is totally confused by how many steps he takes per day, and the distance covered.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11156 on:** February 16, 2019, 06:52:33 PM »

This bloke is searching for his keys ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11157 on:** February 16, 2019, 07:00:22 PM »

Can't afford an apple?

« **Reply #11158 on:** February 16, 2019, 07:10:35 PM »

Too bad you didn't go for an orange, because then you could compare apples with oranges.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11159 on:** February 16, 2019, 07:26:55 PM »

Self-explanatory, really ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11160 on:** February 16, 2019, 10:50:00 PM »

Say, WHUT????

Shillas · « **Reply #11161 on:** February 16, 2019, 11:48:20 PM »

Nordic humour

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11162 on:** February 17, 2019, 12:25:51 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11163 on:** February 17, 2019, 01:37:41 AM »

... but ... butt ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11164 on:** February 17, 2019, 03:39:50 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11165 on:** February 17, 2019, 04:18:19 AM »

Must be an Italian fork.

Bodø · « **Reply #11166 on:** February 17, 2019, 04:39:34 AM »

Oh, the bus I drove last year's advertising was an italian fork. I mistook it for something else.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11167 on:** February 17, 2019, 07:08:52 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11168 on:** February 17, 2019, 12:32:32 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11169 on:** February 17, 2019, 12:39:22 PM »

A 5th grade English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
She said "Think about your answers, I will give you ten minutes"

Johnny handed in a blank sheet of paper.

"Johnny!" yelled the teacher, "You've done absolutey nothing for the past ten minutes! Why?"

"Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11170 on:** February 17, 2019, 06:16:56 PM »

Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook.

1 week later she has 2,300 friends.

Four days later she hits 50,000 friends.

What does Lisa have?

A nekid profile pic!

Bodø · « **Reply #11171 on:** February 17, 2019, 06:32:32 PM »

Just don't meantion cleaning your dishwasher in the bath. Facebook doesn't like that.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11172 on:** February 17, 2019, 06:40:55 PM »

More money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than on Alzheimers research.

This means that in just a few years, elderly women will have perky norks, elderly men will be 'socially excited',
and they will have absolutely no idea why?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11173 on:** February 17, 2019, 06:49:11 PM »

Infomercials have a lot to answer for.

Dont you just hate it when the argument with her is over, and you are just about to chill out in front of the TV,
when she comes charging back in with that infamous statement "But wait! ... Theres more!"

Bodø · « **Reply #11174 on:** February 17, 2019, 06:53:37 PM »

More beer?

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063728 times)

Bodø

Bodø

Bodø