Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2923466 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12800 on: July 07, 2019, 02:20:55 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12801 on: July 07, 2019, 11:37:23 AM »
Now that sludgeguts Scomo has sucessfully supplied us each with a whopping $75 cash rebate towards our power bills, and conned us about Power Cost reductions that didn't happen at the beginning of the year as promised, he is now allowing Electricity Companies to jack-up their charges yet again as of midnight tonight.

That one-off $75 rebate, equates to a pissy 20 cents per day over 12 months, when my own personal winter electricity charge is currently around $5 per day.

Guess where your recently acquired tax rebate is going?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12802 on: July 07, 2019, 11:44:49 AM »
Point of view...

Bacon and eggs for breakfast is just a daily output for a chicken, but a life-ending commitment for the pig!
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12803 on: July 07, 2019, 11:54:41 AM »
The pig's life was ended well before breakfast.
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12804 on: July 07, 2019, 12:39:34 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12805 on: July 07, 2019, 12:48:12 PM »
I've seen that one.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12806 on: July 07, 2019, 12:55:30 PM »
A cannibal described his missing girlfriend as: 'unforg - edible'
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12807 on: July 07, 2019, 02:13:50 PM »
Dominos advertise garlic bread with cheese and tomato.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a pizza?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12808 on: July 07, 2019, 02:18:16 PM »
If someone close to you dies, it's ok to move a few seats away.

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12809 on: July 07, 2019, 02:25:39 PM »
Dominos advertise garlic bread with cheese and tomato.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a pizza?

You're wrong.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12810 on: July 07, 2019, 02:36:42 PM »
In what way?
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12811 on: July 07, 2019, 02:43:29 PM »
Garlic bread isn't a flattened base of leavened wheat-based dough.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12812 on: July 07, 2019, 03:39:01 PM »
OK, fair enough. Still tastes the same.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12813 on: July 07, 2019, 10:27:03 PM »
Whats the difference between a 600 gram carton of cage eggs from ALDI, and a 600 gram carton of 'free range' eggs from Woolworths?

Each egg is similar, its really unimportant.. I mean , you have one egg, or two eggs with a meal, it matters little what colour carton the eggs come from, or what text is printed on the carton?

An egg is an egg is an egg. There is no difference in size, flavour or quality, irrespective of whether the chicken was kept in a cage, or had the run of a yard, so why do Woolworths charge $8.29 for free range, when Aldi sells cage eggs for $2.69.
I prefer my eggs at 22 cents each, as opposed to 70 cents each.

Thats like sitting down to your steak dinner and crying crocodile tears because the cow was raised in a barn. Does it make the steak taste better if the cow roamed in a paddock? I just cannot see the point of the controversy.

By the way, don't forget to take your tissues with you next time you go to KFC. There are worse things in life than sitting in a cage and laying eggs.

You are on the money Kev (and likely to be healthier):
The eggs coming from free-range production systems have a much higher incidence of microbial contamination than that of eggs coming from conventional cage production systems. ... This poses a risk to human health, as the chance of being exposed to Salmonella and E. coli is more likely in free-range systems.

So, not only do you save money buying cage laid eggs, you save money on toilet paper!!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12814 on: July 08, 2019, 03:19:38 AM »
Many years ago while I was still married, there was an instance where I never spoke a word to my wife for almost 2 weeks.
... because she didn't like to be interrupted.

Her mother came to visit for a few days. She was a religious nutter.
After two weeks, I moved out of the house to preserve my sanity.

The mother out-law was still there three weeks later, so I packed her bags and threw her out onto the lawn at the front of the house.
I then called a taxi to take her to the airport, where her ticket for her flight back to Sydney was waiting.

My ex then did me a tremendous favour 6 months later, by shooting through with my best mate, a truck driver.
I have never actually met the guy, but I call him my best mate because he saved me from the bother of having to throw her out as well.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12815 on: July 08, 2019, 05:09:15 AM »
I bet that Andy's Mom also has toys named Woody and Buzz.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12816 on: July 08, 2019, 05:24:39 AM »
When Trump awakes each morning, he has a brain the size of a pea, because it swells overnight.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12817 on: July 08, 2019, 05:55:45 PM »
Trump requires a frontal lobotomy, but they cannot find a suitably trained proctologist.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12818 on: July 08, 2019, 06:01:00 PM »
Scomo is calling for a special Parliamentary session for Discussion of Taxes:

"Calling for Higher Taxes on Others While We Pay None"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12819 on: July 08, 2019, 07:50:30 PM »
Donald Trump is a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage. He has been married to 3 different women.
Maybe he should have adopted Mormonism, he could have had all three at the same time.
Then he maybe wouldn't have had the need to touch up other women on the side.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12820 on: July 08, 2019, 09:07:31 PM »
When Donald returned from his recent trip to England, he was chuffed to learn that he had been awarded a regal title.

In the UK, he is now referred to as "That right-royal-pain-in-the-arse-yankee twat"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12821 on: July 08, 2019, 11:06:19 PM »
You can cheer up, if ...





... The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12822 on: July 09, 2019, 08:36:05 AM »
Somebody posted that Trump was an asshole.

Trump claimed that he was offended, and demanded an apology.

400 people replied "We're sorry that you're an asshole"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12823 on: July 09, 2019, 01:35:58 PM »
Its safe for Lawyers to swim unharmed in shark infested waters.

Its called professional courtesy.
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Offline ppopeye

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12824 on: July 09, 2019, 01:56:47 PM »
I knew I missed a trick with my chosen vocation. I could have started a franchise.
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