Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063835 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #150 on:** February 17, 2016, 05:44:09 PM »

Hmmmm 5500 views in less than 3 months..... Must be a few people that can tolerate my bent humour?

NTRebel · « **Reply #151 on:** February 17, 2016, 06:43:44 PM »

your humor ain't bent Kev just a smidgin off dead straight that's all

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #152 on:** February 18, 2016, 04:50:37 PM »

The reason my cat is named 'Shadow'

Sunlight reflecting from parked car through window onto inside wall.
Guess who is sitting in the window?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #153 on:** February 18, 2016, 09:05:59 PM »

Russian dash cam videos... the fastest way to learn online how to swear in a foreign language.

Panel beaters in Russia have lifetime guaranteed employment!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #154 on:** February 20, 2016, 06:03:03 AM »

7 am. The sun is up, and so am I...

Where do these ideas come from?

Was just sitting here at the keyboard when I looked at my nasal spray, and just reached for a marker pen.... and my camera..

Maybe I need to go for a ride?

Gadget · « **Reply #155 on:** February 20, 2016, 09:06:16 AM »

Yep. Ride!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #156 on:** February 20, 2016, 04:36:46 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #157 on:** February 21, 2016, 04:35:09 PM »

Yep!... that's me running... Next road trip in four weeks

.. edited to get the date right for next trip to Gippsland... just a tad over 1,000 km return

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #158 on:** February 22, 2016, 03:07:59 PM »

What religious beliefs do your pets follow?

Shadow cat, (according to her vocals when it's bathtime,) is obviously a Protest-ant.

... Whereas Kittypuss is a devout Cat-lick ....


http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/kjm47/cat%20lick_zps0nucxvyy.mp4

ppopeye · « **Reply #159 on:** February 22, 2016, 09:08:18 PM »

Try this one

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: ‘If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds 3 times every day.’

Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. ‘How long will this take?’ I asked.

‘They will grow larger over a period of years,’ my husband replies.

I stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts 3 times every day will make my breasts larger over the years?’

Without missing a beat he said, ‘Worked for your bum, didn’t it?’

The idiot is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man……

Sent from my iPad

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #160 on:** February 22, 2016, 10:18:40 PM »

ppopeye · « **Reply #161 on:** February 23, 2016, 09:03:12 AM »

Sent from my iPad

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #162 on:** February 23, 2016, 01:03:56 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #163 on:** February 24, 2016, 02:26:27 PM »

Still no letup for our pi pAssing showers.

At least one other member of the household is 'passed' off

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #164 on:** February 24, 2016, 02:59:33 PM »

No wonder she is miffed... 26 mm of rain today since 9 am, unknown how much overnight

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #165 on:** February 24, 2016, 04:00:53 PM »

just reported that we have had 40 mm of rain since midnight... glub glum, sputter...

WendyL · « **Reply #166 on:** February 24, 2016, 05:06:34 PM »

That's only an average of just over 2mm an hour, hardly anything....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #167 on:** February 24, 2016, 05:28:39 PM »

Tell that to the people responsible for the drainage in this town...

It has now registered 50 mm of rain here since midnight, and it's still sprinkling down

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #168 on:** February 24, 2016, 08:43:53 PM »

Rain has finally gone away, ceased an hour ago... 67 mm since midnight .. still muggy and 27 degrees inside, 10 degrees cooler outside.

WendyL · « **Reply #169 on:** February 25, 2016, 08:56:31 AM »

For comparison, we've had 41mm since 2am, it's 25 degrees and muggy as hell. Gonna be a hot, humid one today, the clouds are moving away

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #170 on:** February 25, 2016, 12:47:38 PM »

Luckiest golf shot... EVER!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #171 on:** February 25, 2016, 04:27:04 PM »

Was waiting at the lights as I left the supermarket about 5 minutes ago.
Teen pedestrian on the walk crossing, holding his phone near his waist as he was texting one handed, deviated slightly and walked straight into the pole supporting the crossing lights.

Goodnight Josephine! Out like a light! Has now proven to himself that he is not as bulletproof as he formerly believed.

Phone appeared to be 'cactus' as well. Expensive lesson.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #172 on:** February 26, 2016, 09:02:58 PM »

You know, I think it's only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #173 on:** February 26, 2016, 09:14:57 PM »

If 'Dear Dorothy' had a male version...

Dear Brian,
Yesterday I borrowed my boyfriends car to run some errands. However, I only drove a couple of blocks from his house and the engine stalled.
I walked back to his home to tell him only to discover an unknown car in his driveway, and from the sounds coming from within, he was in full 'party mode' with at least 3 or 4 other women.
What should I do?
signed, Anxious.

Dear Anxious,
It sounds like the carburetor needs cleaning, possibly water in the bowl.
Its a simple matter for any mechanic and should only take a few minutes to repair.
signed, Brian

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #174 on:** February 27, 2016, 02:41:04 AM »

Useless parts of the Human Anatomy.

I am firmly convinced that the outer smallest toe has purely been added to the body as an ‘in the dark’ furniture detection unit.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063835 times)