Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)

[Wild Rose]

Ouch 

[Kev Murphy]

I may have broken something... will see what it feels like in the morning

[Wild Rose]

Kev
Not much you can do for a broken little toe
But I do feel sorry for you because I know it's hurts
You may not be able to get a boot on to go riding

[Kev Murphy]

Just got home from Hospital. Furniture proximity indicator has a crack in second bone from the tip. A bit painful, but can get a riding boot on.
Rode the bike to and from the hospital. (a whole four blocks away)

[Kev Murphy]

Most of today have just loafed around home doing a very good impression of a spaniel, with one leg cocked in the air.

[Kev Murphy]

Class is in...

I got a call to a friends house late this evening, now, he is in late 20's, so grew up with computers.
He was complaining to me that websites print their text too small for him to read, and he was squinting at the screen...

Hellooooo!... nobody ever taught him how to hold the Ctrl key down, and scroll the mouse wheel to increase/decrease onscreen detail?

I wonder how many other people out there, are unaware of this? Seems like a very basic item has been missed in schooling?

[Kev Murphy]

A blast from the past.

Many years ago, I was part of exercise Kangaroo III, held in northern Queensland.
2 Sig Regt were setup east of Rockhampton, near Emu Park township.

I was lucky enough to get to meet some Yanks at another site, and we took great
pleasure in introducing them to our 24 hour 1 man ration packs.
They said that they were great, but then asked what we ate for the other two meals?

[Kev Murphy]

D'ya think they might be some of them there suicidal 'martoes we keep reading about?

[Kev Murphy]

For the past 7 years, a friend and I have been exchanging small items on a weekly basis via Australia Post.

Usually 3 days delivery, sometimes 4, from Portland, Victoria to  Capalaba, QLD and similar times for return.

Since their "new, overpriced and slow delivery" rates came into force, delivery times are now up to 11 days each way,
one taking 16 days, and 1 item to date that has not been seen since Jan 4th.... disappeared completely?

11 days?.. crikey... I could hand deliver it myself, sleep 24 hours, and still ride home again within 3 days?

Another friend in Townsville rang me this morning, to see if I had received a card which she posted Monday last week
 ... she was promised 4 days delivery by Post Office staff.  Not in my mailbox, yet


Fail, Australia Post, Fail... Why are we being charged Champagne rates for tap water quality service?

[Kev Murphy]

[NTRebel]

Hey Kev tap water quality is 1000 times better than Australia Post quality.

[Kev Murphy]

Hey Kev tap water quality is 1000 times better than Australia Post quality.

It is, now..

Another little item I play with, is a meal panel survey... the old 'tenner in an envelope' every two months.

Seems they are changing their payment policy to direct bank deposit, or PayPal, as many payments are going missing in the post.

 

It seems like Australia Post is trying to discourage people from mailing letters – they have increased the price of a stamp to $1 and lengthened the time of delivery up to a week unless you pay extra.

Also we keep getting complaints that payments go missing and we strongly suspect that they are not all stolen from letterboxes.

For these reasons we have decided to phase out mail payments eventually - all payments will be made by PayPal or direct bank deposit.

If you don’t have PayPal, please consider getting it – it’s free, safe and very handy.

Otherwise, please email me your bank details (BSB, acct no.) – this is also safe as only deposits are possible.

[Kev Murphy]

[ppopeye]

Getting ready for travelling.

[Kev Murphy]

 

[STroppy]

BRILLIANT!

[Kev Murphy]

Legends within their own Lifetime.

Now we all know one of these people, the ones who know all about everything, regardless if they have any experience in the subject, ... or not.
One of these legends lives right here in Portland.  If I mention Ship building, or Oil rigs, or steel mills, maybe open cut or underground coal mining? How about the electrical trade, commercial, industrial and / or domestic installations?   This person can speak at length on any of these subjects. Maybe I will mention the Army, or sports Skydiving?... I can openly talk about these subjects, having been there- done that..... does not phase him, he knows it all. Not bad for a guy who has lived on a disability pension for the past 28 years since when at the age of 19 he was 'injured' in a motor vehicle accident, which has prevented him from doing paid work since?

Anyway, I digress...

Today I was visiting some friends who live at Hawkesdale, a small Victorian town halfway between Warrnambool and Hamilton, about 100 Km from here. The subject of 'know-it-alls' came up, and I mimicked the 'HAW HAW!' laugh of the person mentioned in the above paragraph, at which my friend looked at me seriously, and said "Oh... you KNOW Ken A******?"

 Truly a LEGEND! .. (for the wrong reasons)

[STeveo]

For the past 7 years, a friend and I have been exchanging small items on a weekly basis via Australia Post.

Usually 3 days delivery, sometimes 4, from Portland, Victoria to  Capalaba, QLD and similar times for return.

Since their "new, overpriced and slow delivery" rates came into force, delivery times are now up to 11 days each way,
one taking 16 days, and 1 item to date that has not been seen since Jan 4th.... disappeared completely?

11 days?.. crikey... I could hand deliver it myself, sleep 24 hours, and still ride home again within 3 days?

Another friend in Townsville rang me this morning, to see if I had received a card which she posted Monday last week
 ... she was promised 4 days delivery by Post Office staff.  Not in my mailbox, yet


Fail, Australia Post, Fail... Why are we being charged Champagne rates for tap water quality service?

That's what they pay their CEO millions for.   

[Kev Murphy]

The card posted Monday last week, and verbally promised with delivery within 4 days, actually appeared in my mailbox yesterday, only took 9 full days to arrive.

How did they process delivery, by trained ferret?

- edited to correct spelling error

[Kev Murphy]

A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college.
"Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra."
"Spectacular!" the man replies.
"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the King of England, and he loves the music.
He says 'Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo."
"We play for the Queen of France, and she loves the music. She says 'Fill the instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo."
"Then we play for the czar of Russia, and he hates the music.
He says 'Shove the instruments up their ar*es!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't fit.
AND ME WITH THE GODDAMN PICCOLO!"

[STeveo]

 

[Kev Murphy]

             Colgate Ad

Pay close attention to each scene,  tricky Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising  campaign to promote their dental floss.
 
  But....  before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I shall  let you observe them quietly on your own.
 
  COUPLE 1 


  COUPLE 2 

 
  COUPLE 3 

 
   
   
   
   
   
 
Alright.......... now that you've had  time to quietly observe the images......

*   In the first photograph, you  might have noticed that the lady has one finger too many on her  left hand.
 
*   In the second  photograph, a phantom arm is floating behind.
 
*   And in the third  photograph, the man has only one ear.
 
  The  campaign attained its purpose.
 
  It  proved that food debris on your teeth draws more attention than  any physical defect does.
   
I picked the extra arm in the second pic, but missed the other two!

How well did you do??
 
So now you know that no matter what  physical "defect" you might feel self-conscious about, just stick  a chunk of spinach
between your front teeth, and no one will notice anything else about  you!

[Kev Murphy]

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition.
Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower.
They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.
 
They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.
Only one problem arose -- how to handle the fact that great-uncle George had been executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It stated, "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution,
and was attached to his position by the strongest of ties. His death came as a great shock."

Now THAT is the art of a good P.R. spindoctor.

[Kev Murphy]

To borrow the by-line of one of our members.. "Motorcycling...The most fun you can have with your clothes on.."
This story involves the removal of said clothing.

Picture this.... a few days after Cyclone Tracy devastated Darwin... Jeff and I had left Darwin on the Sunday morning before it arrived.

Short travelling days because of the rain, found ourselves in the Alice a few days later. Jeff had never seen Ayers Rock, so about 200 km south of the Alice, we turned off the Stuart Hwy and headed west. Another couple hundred Km to the Rock. A difficult trip, as it was still raining constantly, and because the ground was just muddy sludge we had to resort to idling the bikes in gear and walk alongside them for the last 20 Km, as potholes and road ruts were invisible. When we were in close proximity to the Rock, we were astounded by the sight of waterfalls running from it. Being plastered head to foot with mud, we decided to have a shower. Didn't take long for the mud to wash off the leathers, which we then draped over the bikes, got rid of our sodden clothes, and went back under the shower. New Years Day, a Wednesday afternoon, middle of the week, what could go wrong?

About 5 minutes later, a tour bus with about 60 people on board appeared from around the corner about 50 metres away parallel to the Lungkata walk, south western side of the Rock where we were showering.

Stayed at a camping ground in the area for another few days until the rain eased. At least our tents were waterproof.

 

[Kev Murphy]

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.