Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927263 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #300 on: March 25, 2016, 05:37:04 AM »
Thanks, Gary
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Offline Jdbiker

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #301 on: March 25, 2016, 08:05:42 AM »
Happy Easter Kev :hatwave
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #302 on: March 25, 2016, 08:08:24 AM »
Happy Easter all, have a safe weekend

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #303 on: March 25, 2016, 08:35:41 AM »
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #304 on: March 25, 2016, 08:39:07 AM »
Eggactly

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #305 on: March 25, 2016, 12:42:45 PM »
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #306 on: March 25, 2016, 01:57:07 PM »
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #307 on: March 25, 2016, 02:37:53 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #308 on: March 25, 2016, 02:38:38 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #309 on: March 26, 2016, 01:35:27 PM »
Doctor advised a male patient on Viagra not to take iron supplements, as it may cause him to spin around and point north....
« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 01:53:31 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #310 on: March 26, 2016, 01:38:57 PM »
Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused George of being an alcoholic, because she saw his pickup parked outside the Pub all afternoon.

George just stared at her for a moment, but said nothing.

Later that evening, he parked his ute in front of her house, and left it there all weekend.

« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 01:43:16 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #311 on: March 26, 2016, 01:42:11 PM »
When you have to replace your drivers licence and a new photo is required, make sure you are drunk.


When you are pulled over by the Law, they will think that you always look that way... :grin
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #312 on: March 26, 2016, 01:52:22 PM »
What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?


One will pull stunts for peanuts, and the other lives in a zoo.

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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #313 on: March 26, 2016, 01:53:27 PM »
True story lol

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #314 on: March 26, 2016, 01:57:28 PM »
A man died and went to Hell. The devil greeted him,
"You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever you choose, the person in that room will switch with you.
They’ll go to heaven, and you’ll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room."
 
The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped.
 
The second room has someone being burned by a torch.
 
The third had a man being orally 'serviced' by a naked woman.
 
"I choose this room!" the man said.
 
 
"Very well," the devil says. He walked up to the woman and tapped her on the shoulder.
 
"You can go now..... I’ve found your replacement."
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Offline Bloodman

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #315 on: March 26, 2016, 05:05:12 PM »
 :eek :eek :well :spank :

Go straight to the naughty corner

 :blu13
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #316 on: March 26, 2016, 05:12:47 PM »
 :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #317 on: March 26, 2016, 05:16:55 PM »
A quiet Friday at home for me, just a couple visitors and phone calls, no traffic outside.

Today has been a madhouse, half the main street blocked off for Farmers Market, supermarket filled and no parking for several blocks. One would think they had been closed for a week, not a day

Had one enterprising soul who parked a 4x4 with a huge boat on a trailer right across the driveway, and impossible to get the bike out. When I spoke to the driver, he said he was 'just waiting for his wife to come out from the supermarket' What was she doing? buying the whole bloody store? I had been waiting over 90 minutes to get out. Likewise the tenant in the next flat.

 I suggested to the driver that he move his vehicle, or the police would be called, because he was illegally parked.
He got really uppity, and stepped from the 4x4 ready to start swinging, but I was already on the mobile by then talking with the police. The guy cracked it, jumped into his vehicle and almost rammed a car which was leaving the supermarket.
Happy Easter, you pig-ignorant, arrogant a*sole.
Passed on the rego details to the uniformed ones.
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #318 on: March 26, 2016, 05:23:10 PM »
4x4 drivers think they own the Bush. AND the streets

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DRACO :)

Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
Kawasaki Z650, Kawasaki Z1R Mk ll (mint green)
FJ1200 Yamaha 1995, Kawasaki Z1100
Kawasaki Z1000, FJ1200 Yamaha 1995
FJ1200 Yamaha 1992, FJR1300 Yamaha 2004
ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


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White Phoenix
 
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #319 on: March 26, 2016, 09:51:17 PM »
Very well handled Kev :thumbsup
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I like shiney things :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #320 on: March 26, 2016, 11:09:51 PM »
Easter bonus!

Seems even the spammers take a break... for the past few days I haven't won any lotteries, or had any megadollar  job offers, no cheap Viagra from 'CandianPharmcy' or emails from the FBI regarding my 'UN Payments from Nigeria' which is in boxes held at various airports in the US. (Awaiting clearance fees, of course)

Maybe every weekend should be a 4 day holiday affair worldwide?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #321 on: March 27, 2016, 04:33:32 AM »
A woman gets home, whirls her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs,
 "Honey, pack your bags!...  I won the lottery!"

The husband says, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

The wife yells back, "It doesn't matter, suit yourself....just get the hell out before tonight!
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #322 on: March 27, 2016, 05:07:01 AM »
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 p.m. news was coming on.

The news crew was covering the story of a man preparing to jump off the ledge of a large building. The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he'll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he'll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won't.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You're on!” Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. “Fair's fair. Here's your money!”

Bob replied, “I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 p.m. news, so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #323 on: March 27, 2016, 06:13:22 AM »
 :rofl :rofl :rofl

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?'

'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift ?'

'Not for me.. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble.'

'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when he saw the blonde walking down the street holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. 'What the heck are you doing here?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'

'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over - so now we're going to SeaWorld.'
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #324 on: March 27, 2016, 08:47:44 PM »


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