Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3007571 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #800 on: May 30, 2016, 07:54:49 PM »
How do you tell the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?



One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish.
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #801 on: May 30, 2016, 07:56:51 PM »
Yeah I hear that. Same goes for Liarticians

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #802 on: May 30, 2016, 08:20:30 PM »
What is the most obvious difference between these two pictures ... apart from one being a protected species?






The Echidna has the pricks on the outside...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #803 on: May 30, 2016, 08:29:15 PM »
Senator Amanda Vanstone was pregnant.
As she was being taken to the delivery room, she spotted the sign above the door, and started vigorously protesting...

“No! NO! .. You can NOT TAKE ME IN THERE!.... I’m a LIBERAL!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #804 on: May 30, 2016, 09:06:51 PM »
Mexico has just started producing new printed toilet paper...



It's called 'Kizzmyazz'
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #805 on: May 31, 2016, 01:58:43 AM »
Little Johnny at age 4 was taken to the zoo by his dad.

When he got home, his mum asked "What did you see today?"



Wide eyed, he said  "I saw this great big fat grey thing with flappy ears !!
... and it had a big tail one end, and a little tail at the other!
... and it was picking up apples with the big tail,
... and you will  NOT BELIEVE  where it was stuffing them!"


« Last Edit: May 31, 2016, 02:04:37 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #806 on: May 31, 2016, 02:38:20 PM »
Peaceful self- indulgent afternoon at home

Am laid back in front of the heater, watching movies, and snacking on chocolate-dipped strawberries..

Doesn't get much better than this...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #807 on: May 31, 2016, 04:52:59 PM »
My thoughts on the Australian economy, and how to improve it.

We have 24 million people in this country

The US has a population of 320 million, 13 times the number we have.

First of all, reduce politicians rate of pay to a level which reflects more on the actual count of our population.

Why should the Australian PM be paid over 25 percent more than the US President?


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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #808 on: May 31, 2016, 06:49:32 PM »
AGREED

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #809 on: June 01, 2016, 12:52:07 PM »
Short’un... “I will give $100 million towards cancer research for children!”

Turncoat... “I will pledge $200 million towards improving Sydney Parks!”

Short’un...  “You’re not very good at this, are you?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #810 on: June 01, 2016, 02:58:37 PM »
Peaceful self- indulgent afternoon at home

Am laid back in front of the heater, watching movies, and snacking on chocolate-dipped strawberries..

Doesn't get much better than this...


Catastrophic!   :cuss

I have run out of..

CHOCOLATE!  :||||

Just have to have sugar dipped strawberries with ice cream instead!   :hatwave



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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #811 on: June 01, 2016, 03:14:01 PM »
What a day!
 
Sitting at the computer... flicker... flicker ... flicker went the light.
 
Looked at the tube.. blackened on both ends.
 
Went to the back room, got a spare tube.. pulled the ladder out.
 
Dismantled the light fitting and replaced the tube and starter, all good.
 
Put the ladder away, went to the kitchen to make coffee.
 
turned on the kitchen light.
 
flicker... flicker ... flicker
 
Had to do it all again!
 
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Offline Flip

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #812 on: June 01, 2016, 08:15:08 PM »
No more chocolate  ???  :fp :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

 :Chocies




Flip  :grin


 :wht11
But I AM Napoleon I tell you !
Where am I now that I need me ???
ALL others on the roads are idiots - ride accordingly !
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #813 on: June 01, 2016, 11:41:44 PM »
From another forum...

Barcaldine- Longreach road closed



Q from a Kiwi member

   Why is it closed?

My reply: 

        They found a pothole.... Awaiting Govt funding to subsidise repairs    :crackup
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #814 on: June 02, 2016, 06:47:44 AM »
Or major roadworks carried out 6 months ago . . Forgot to remove signage!
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #815 on: June 02, 2016, 09:30:36 AM »
That's a new concept.  Locals can use it (obviously for essential property access) but everyone else will be fined!
The next logical step after lollypop men and automatic traffic lights.
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #816 on: June 02, 2016, 11:32:35 AM »
Cheaper to leave the signs there than to employ lollypop men, and temporary stop/go lights are expensive items  :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #817 on: June 03, 2016, 05:09:28 AM »
A fellow aged rider informed me last night that he is finally hanging up his helmet.  :eek

He said that he was spending more money on bike cleaning products, than he does on registration and fuel. :grin

DAMMIT !!!  :cuss... he is only 3 years older than me!
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Offline WendyL

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #818 on: June 03, 2016, 09:14:52 AM »
A fellow aged rider informed me last night that he is finally hanging up his helmet.  :eek

He said that he was spending more money on bike cleaning products, than he does on registration and fuel. :grin

DAMMIT !!!  :cuss... he is only 3 years older than me!

My dad has finally had to hang up his helmet.  He'll be 79 next week, and was riding until a couple of weeks ago, but the docs have decided that due to his health and medical conditions, he's not even allowed to drive a car anymore, so the bike is going :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
:KissBlow
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #819 on: June 03, 2016, 09:17:12 AM »
A fellow aged rider informed me last night that he is finally hanging up his helmet.  :eek

He said that he was spending more money on bike cleaning products, than he does on registration and fuel. :grin

DAMMIT !!!  :cuss... he is only 3 years older than me!

I didn't realise Brian was that old!! :eek
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #820 on: June 03, 2016, 12:34:37 PM »



I didn't realise Brian was that old!! :eek

 :Stirpot :like :grin
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #821 on: June 05, 2016, 07:02:28 PM »

An 85-year-old man had to do a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.”

The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained …

“Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.

“She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor? Good heavens!”

The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #822 on: June 05, 2016, 07:34:31 PM »
 :rofl
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #823 on: June 05, 2016, 08:04:15 PM »
Hahahaha

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DRACO :)

Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
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ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


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White Phoenix
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #824 on: June 05, 2016, 11:15:22 PM »
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