Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927186 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1200 on: July 29, 2016, 10:01:31 AM »
I was going to borrow some money from my dwarf buddy.

~ But he said he is a little short this week....
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1201 on: July 29, 2016, 10:50:26 AM »
 :eek :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl
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Offline DavidP

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1202 on: July 29, 2016, 08:34:20 PM »
Hehehehehe

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

:slvr13 in style
2008 ST1300, Carbon fender extender, blinker/mirror mod, switchback indicators, diy wiring/jump start harness, heated grips, diy swing-arm/shock protector, insulated fairing pockets, diy led spots
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1203 on: July 30, 2016, 06:06:34 AM »
Absolutely British Humour...


http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/AbsolutelyBrittish_zpsmwqizx3w.mp4


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1204 on: July 30, 2016, 06:13:20 AM »
These guys figured out how to break the boredom while waiting at an airport...

http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/Boredom_at_airport_zpsi1mffrsj.mp4
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1205 on: July 30, 2016, 05:05:49 PM »
I am sure that there are easier ways to change a tyre?


http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/how%20to%20change%20a%20tyre_zpsd2uyytlu.mp4
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1206 on: July 30, 2016, 08:52:27 PM »
Been pretty windy down this way for a couple of weeks, and finally we have had a day without rain!

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1207 on: July 30, 2016, 10:10:05 PM »
A Psychologist is 
selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.
Here’s how it works:
If you spend $19.99 for the video, your dog 
is smarter than you are.
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1208 on: July 30, 2016, 10:10:45 PM »
A Psychologist is 
selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.
Here’s how it works:
If you spend $19.99 for the video, your dog 
is smarter than you are.

 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl
My Ride: 2023 ST1800   :thumb
OzSTOC #104   STOC# 8512   IBA # 59142
Find me in The Who's Who of OzSTOC!

I like shiney things :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1209 on: July 30, 2016, 10:13:37 PM »
A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, 
injure, or worry wildlife.”
How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? ...... Run up to a bird and say
“Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak? It could be a tumor.”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1210 on: July 30, 2016, 10:14:22 PM »
I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1211 on: July 30, 2016, 10:16:30 PM »
A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog,
“You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. “But that wouldn't make any sense at all?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1212 on: July 30, 2016, 10:17:54 PM »
Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, 
before that last race …”

“The one that you won?” asks the other horse.

“Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.”

The other horse says, “Funny, 
I felt a pinch in my hindquarters 
before the race that I won.”

A dog walking by says, “You 
idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you run faster!”

The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, check it out... a talking dog!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1213 on: July 30, 2016, 10:25:19 PM »
What do you call a dog with no legs?


 Makes no difference WHAT you call him.... he still won't come to you.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1214 on: July 30, 2016, 10:27:34 PM »
There were these two fleas, itch hiking their way around....
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1215 on: July 30, 2016, 10:33:02 PM »
I know a dog who is duo-talented.. he works as a marine biologist, and tags whales....
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1216 on: July 30, 2016, 10:38:58 PM »
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1217 on: July 31, 2016, 12:18:28 AM »
When dog food is advertised as a 'new improved taste', ...  who tests it?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1218 on: July 31, 2016, 12:22:09 AM »
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van.
Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1219 on: July 31, 2016, 04:07:08 PM »
Just a splash of rain overnight, no rain in daylight hours for two days. Must be practicing for summer.

Heard a guy greet another on the street "Lovely weather!"

.. and thought to myself, 'Bloody Tourist!'... must have just arrived in town.

If he stays overnight, he will realise the truth by morning.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1220 on: July 31, 2016, 04:30:51 PM »
Judges of the 2004 Boxing Day Ripcurl Surf Championship held off the coast of Indonesia are still trying to contact the surfer who put up the best performance of the day.

He is believed to be a local surfer, and was last seen heading towards India on a wardrobe door.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1221 on: July 31, 2016, 11:20:44 PM »
The tourists mentioned above are probably lying in bed at the moment, listening to the rain overhead.  ;-*
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1222 on: July 31, 2016, 11:21:09 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1223 on: August 01, 2016, 12:59:50 AM »
Little Johnny came home from school with his report card.

His mathematics results were really bad.

Dad asked "Why are these test results so low?"

Johnny replied "I just don't fully understand gazintas and eagles!"

"Gazintas?? ... eagles????"

Johnny replied "Yeah... you know, like ...  two gazinta four twice, and two plus two eagles four!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1224 on: August 01, 2016, 08:32:50 AM »
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