Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927073 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1300 on: August 10, 2016, 04:28:55 PM »
Eats into riding time, nothing worse than cold wet nuts on a motorbike?  Yeah, and causes rust on bolts as well  ... 7 mm in past hour.

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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1301 on: August 10, 2016, 05:36:18 PM »
Nothing worse then rusty nuts . . . Unless of course it is a rusty nut!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1302 on: August 10, 2016, 07:11:38 PM »
 :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1303 on: August 10, 2016, 11:14:45 PM »
The North Korean news agency does not have much of a reputation for factual accuracy.

When the country’s former dictator Kim Jong Il died in December 2011, it reported a
rock carving glowing brightly, and ice near his presumed birthplace to have cracked
“so loud, it seemed to shake the Heavens and the Earth” in mourning of the Dear Leader.

While he was alive, Kim reportedly invented the hamburger, wrote 1,500 books in
three years while at university, and shot eleven holes-in-one the first time he played golf
(a feat verified by all 17 of  his bodyguards)

 ... and of course, they have factual proof that the Unicorn did and still exists... ??

What else do you expect from a country that bases its current calendar on the birth date of an ex-leader who was born just a hundred or so years ago?
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1304 on: August 11, 2016, 08:44:30 AM »
Oldie but still funny . . .

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1305 on: August 11, 2016, 09:36:36 AM »
 :crackup :thumb
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1306 on: August 11, 2016, 10:59:29 AM »
 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl
My Ride: 2023 ST1800   :thumb
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I like shiney things :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1308 on: August 11, 2016, 01:39:28 PM »
Apparently, (according to N Korean authorities) Kim Jong Il did not defecate in his lifetime.  :o

(Which gives rise to western peoples popular belief that he was full of it)
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1309 on: August 12, 2016, 03:55:28 PM »
North Korea has about the same population as Australia, (about 24 million)
...but they claim they have over a million people in their Military forces?
 
(The CITY of Beijing in China, just 400 miles away, has a population of about 21 million)
 
Did you know that Vladivostok is only 80 miles from the North Korean Border?
...or that Seoul in South Korea is less than 200 Km from Pyongyang?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1310 on: August 12, 2016, 03:55:47 PM »
According to what the kids at North Korean schools are taught, their ex leader learned to walk at 3 weeks of age,
could talk at two months old, and was taught to drive a car before his third birthday.
 
( So was I, but my cars were made by Tonka Toys and Matchbox. )
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1311 on: August 12, 2016, 09:43:50 PM »
I hate it when someone asks me “Where do I see myself 5 years from now?”

... When I don’t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago!!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1312 on: August 12, 2016, 09:47:47 PM »
That awkward moment when you are on a bicycle, and get hit by a car ..

….. a parked one.


... hmmmm?... is that the reason pugs have flat faces, from chasing parked cars?
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Online Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1313 on: August 12, 2016, 10:18:22 PM »
Quote
s that the reason pugs have flat faces, from chasing parked cars

NO!!!!!

Pugs dont chase cars. cats maybe, but not cars. Ougs are too busy sleeping or eating to chase stuff. Infact, My two are sleeping next to me now.
Brock
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1314 on: August 13, 2016, 02:45:58 PM »
My sister bet me $50 I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.



Should've seen her face as I drove pasta...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1315 on: August 13, 2016, 03:08:44 PM »
I used to have an ant farm. It was non-productive.


Those lazy little buggers didn't plant or grow anything!
« Last Edit: August 13, 2016, 05:18:56 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1316 on: August 13, 2016, 03:11:36 PM »
There was this kid with no arms or legs... can you guess what he got for Christmas?


I dunno either, as he hasn't managed to open any of his presents yet...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1317 on: August 13, 2016, 03:41:32 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1318 on: August 13, 2016, 04:33:13 PM »
A Vulture with a dead rabbit under each wing tried to board a plane, only to be told by the Flight Attendant...


"Sorry, Sir!... You are only allowed ONE Carrion...."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1319 on: August 13, 2016, 07:12:39 PM »
Always a fresh offer....

info@mail.com
Hello, I'm Norman Chan, Tak-Lam, S.B.S., J.P, Chief Executive, Hong Kong
Monetary Authority (HKMA). I have a Business worth $47.1M USD for you to
handle with me. Contact me on my email (mr.normanchan@***.com) for more
details of the business


Do I need a clown suit for this business?... Is it related to Producing Mirth?
Impressed, Scooter.    R.O.B.A, C.E.O, M.B.E, C.C.F, E.C.C, H.of S, B.S.PH&D. L&HT W.

(I have more letters after my name than Charlie Norman Chan, that should impress him?)
(ROBA (Royal Order of the Brown Arm) CEO, (Casual Employee/Office) MBE, (Main Bottle Emptier) CCF (Chief Coffee Fetcher), E.C.C.. (Empty Can Collector) H.of S, (Hoarder of Stuff), B.S.PH&D. (B.S.(Male Bovine Excretia) Piled Higher and Deeper) L&HTW (Lawn and Hedges Trimmed Weekends))

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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1320 on: August 13, 2016, 07:16:36 PM »
Hey kev with the amounts of money you're getting you should good for a loan hahahaha

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DRACO :)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1321 on: August 13, 2016, 07:25:41 PM »
Quote
L&HTW (Lawn and Hedges Trimmed Weekends))

Never mind a loan, I have some lawns and hedges that need trimming...

I will trade you my Google Lottery winnings for a good job...

 :popcorn :popcorn :popcorn
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1322 on: August 13, 2016, 07:26:45 PM »
Hahaha that I can do

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1323 on: August 13, 2016, 08:39:20 PM »
Bloke was on his death bed, he turned to his wife and asked..
“Before I die, can I ask you if you were ever unfaithful to me?”

She replied “Only twice... the first time was when you were
overseas with the business for 14 months, and I was lonely at home.”

He said “I can forgive you for that, what was the second circumstance?”

“Well,” she said.. “Remember that time you were nominated as
President of the Golf Club, but you were 62 votes short?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1324 on: August 13, 2016, 10:54:40 PM »
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