Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3065056 times)

Bodø · « **Reply #16175 on:** January 22, 2020, 08:14:17 PM »

Quote from: Shillas on January 22, 2020, 05:32:10 PM

I was going to post a joke about Sodium.

Then I thought Na, people wouldn't understand it.

There is an element of truth to that.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16176 on:** January 22, 2020, 08:56:50 PM »

I hear voices in my head

But only when I wear headphones.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16177 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:09:55 PM »

A girl was practicing her singing skills when her mum said...
Mum: “I wish you were on TV”

Daughter: “Thanks mom... am I that good?”

Mum: “No, I’d just like to be able to turn the volume down”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16178 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:12:10 PM »

After many sprinkles of rain this afternoon, it is really pouring down here now.

NTRebel · « **Reply #16179 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:23:55 PM »

Would you like some red dust to go with your rain.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16180 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:36:57 PM »

Plenty of mud in the gutters already, Paul.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16181 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:38:11 PM »

They finally shut down production of 'House of Cards'

It's deemed to be too unrealistic, to have someone playing the US President who has been accused of sexual misconduct.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16182 on:** January 22, 2020, 09:47:07 PM »

My cats are going frantic at the moment... I have this activated on both screens...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16183 on:** January 22, 2020, 11:17:24 PM »

heavy rain only lasted an hour, but its still drizzling outside. Been about 10mm since 4pm

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16184 on:** January 23, 2020, 12:44:18 AM »

Out on the shooting range in an area where hunting is forbidden, I encounter two chinese gentleman curious about what happens at this place.

They politely ask if this is where they can shoot some rabbits. No no, I say, shooting rabbits is not legal here. You are only allowed to practice firing at the designated targets, you know, for fun.

"Ahhhh" they remark. Taking a seat, staring at the field ahead of them. Guns on the ground next to them.
Puzzled, I ask if they're going to take a few shots at the targets.

"Yes" they reply, "We wait for rabbit to move in front of target".

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16185 on:** January 23, 2020, 06:07:02 AM »

Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... "I'm sleeping with the priest's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?"
The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees.

After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to.

Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest...
"My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says...
“You better hurry home now, my wife died a year ago"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16186 on:** January 23, 2020, 07:59:24 AM »

... and it's still raining here...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16187 on:** January 23, 2020, 08:01:30 AM »

Easy to tell if someone is rich and powerful in America,

... the verdict comes back 'not guilty'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16188 on:** January 23, 2020, 08:13:58 AM »

A cook got his hand caught in the dish-washer

and they were both fired.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16189 on:** January 23, 2020, 11:12:28 AM »

There are revheads in all life streams.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16190 on:** January 23, 2020, 12:24:31 PM »

Age affects us all...

Three guys chatting as they walked...

"Windy, isn't it?"

"Nah! ... it's Thursday!"

"Me too! ... let's stop off at the local for a cold one!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16191 on:** January 23, 2020, 02:08:03 PM »

High Koala-ty parking at Portland Woolworths an hour ago.

After interacting with multiple shoppers with mobile phones in the carpark, he/she climbed a tree.

Bodø · « **Reply #16192 on:** January 23, 2020, 02:10:43 PM »

She just came down to take a leak in the bushes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16193 on:** January 23, 2020, 02:52:37 PM »

Never trust an artist.

They are always a bit sketchy, a bit shady, and they will always try to frame you.

I think you get the picture.

Bodø · « **Reply #16194 on:** January 23, 2020, 02:54:46 PM »

They get found out eventually as they alway leave prints.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16195 on:** January 23, 2020, 06:49:54 PM »

I like to antagonise my roommate by keeping framed photos around of his ex.

They're on shelves throughout the apartment. Hell, there are two pics in my room!
Sometimes I call her when he's in the room. I even invite her to visit.

That's what the bastard gets for having dated my sister.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16196 on:** January 23, 2020, 06:51:33 PM »

Trump reminds me of Porky Pig ... When confronted, he stutters "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"

Shillas · « **Reply #16197 on:** January 23, 2020, 07:25:57 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on January 23, 2020, 06:49:54 PM

I like to antagonise my roommate by keeping framed photos around of his ex.

They're on shelves throughout the apartment. Hell, there are two pics in my room!
Sometimes I call her when he's in the room. I even invite her to visit.

That's what the bastard gets for having dated my sister.

Shillas · « **Reply #16198 on:** January 23, 2020, 07:26:21 PM »

What do you call a knight who doesn't like to fight?

Sir Render.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16199 on:** January 23, 2020, 09:08:49 PM »

A politician, a liar, and a molester enter a bar.

The barman asked "What will it be, Mister Trump?"

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3065056 times)

Bodø

Bodø

Bodø