Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3062477 times)

Shillas · « **Reply #11880 on:** April 15, 2019, 09:12:01 PM »

Well the cat definitely doesn't look impressed

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11881 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:49:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11882 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:55:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11883 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:10:08 PM »

Famous last words. Husband version.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11884 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:24:00 PM »

Whenever I see Clive Palmer onscreen, I have the innate desire to mute the sound.

Seems to be every 12 minutes or so...

That man should carry a roll of toilet paper to wipe his mouth with.

He's like a vacuum cleaner, loud and annoying!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11885 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:29:15 PM »

You know, a random memory of my ex popped into my head today... ?

... that reminds me, got to put the trash bin out.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11886 on:** April 16, 2019, 12:09:25 AM »

I'll never forget the first time I met my ex ...

... but I'm working on it...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11887 on:** April 16, 2019, 12:18:40 AM »

She claims that I called her a bitch, but that doesn't explain the broom...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11888 on:** April 16, 2019, 02:43:40 AM »

Obviously fake... (Overseas)

Just had a phonecall, supposedly from the Tax office {At 2.17 am???}
Claiming that I owe "$3,292" from last years tax?

I replied "Is that for just last year, or for the past ten years that I have not paid any income tax?"

He warmed to this, and started quoting random figures for each year,
at which I said "Sorry, " (misquoting the time to further confuse him, time quoted may suit Anchorage, Alaska.)
"Can you ring me later in the day, as it is only 8.15 am, and I have just finished working all night, and need some sleep!"

He got flustered and threatened me with arrest by the FBI as I hung up.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11889 on:** April 16, 2019, 03:09:26 AM »

I was in the supermarket when my sense of smell was hit by an overwhelming odor as a shopper walked past me.

I said to the woman "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11890 on:** April 16, 2019, 05:18:29 AM »

Bodø · « **Reply #11891 on:** April 16, 2019, 05:35:20 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on April 16, 2019, 03:09:26 AM

I was in the supermarket when my sense of smell was hit by an overwhelming odor as a shopper walked past me.

I said to the woman "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"

I'd take that over the stench of tobacco any day.

Bodø · « **Reply #11892 on:** April 16, 2019, 05:36:39 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on April 16, 2019, 05:18:29 AM

Text spelling just makes you look uneducated.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11893 on:** April 16, 2019, 05:51:53 AM »

Western Australians have a warped mindset when it comes to placenames.

So, how many people visit these effing islands, anyway?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11894 on:** April 16, 2019, 06:02:13 AM »

Note to Clive Palmer.

If bullsh** could bounce, you would be in orbit!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11895 on:** April 16, 2019, 06:31:59 AM »

I passed a butchers shop this morning, they were unloading a delivery van.
They get out a side of cow. Where's the other side?
Is there still a cow grazing in a paddock somewhere with a whole side missing?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11896 on:** April 16, 2019, 06:33:39 AM »

Forget London Bridge ... Notre Dame is burning down, burning down, ...

850 years of history gone.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11897 on:** April 16, 2019, 06:46:35 AM »

Nice tan you've got, Trump.

Whats your ethnic background, carrot?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11898 on:** April 16, 2019, 10:19:10 AM »

You ever get lost with your wife in the car?

You're completely lost, and they always say the same thing: "Oh, let's just go home."

"We're LOST woman! ... What, did you throw a bread trail out the window?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11899 on:** April 16, 2019, 11:44:40 AM »

A group of 'large' women went to the beach this morning.

Two whales beached themselves, and started singing "We are family! ..."

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3062477 times)

Bodø

Bodø