Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2924802 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12850 on: July 12, 2019, 02:05:35 PM »
At 4 am the desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
About an hour, later he gets another call from the guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" 
"Same time as I said before - noon," replies the clerk.
6am he calls again, totally plastered. "What dime joo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service bring something to you?"
"Nah! ...  you don't understannnnn ... I don't wanna get in, ah wanna get OUT!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12851 on: July 12, 2019, 05:51:45 PM »
Still cold weather here, wind gusts around 55kph currently 9 degrees, but feels like 1.8 at 5.45pm.
Already have both heaters on, and thinking of switching on a third one.
Been light showers here for most of the day, but only around 1mm since 9am.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12852 on: July 12, 2019, 08:52:10 PM »
A magician on an aircraft was identified as a flying sorcerer ... 

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12853 on: July 12, 2019, 08:59:24 PM »
How often do golfers need to wash their balls?
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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12854 on: July 12, 2019, 10:21:35 PM »
Quote
How often do golfers need to wash their balls?

Depends on the number of holes they played I guess... o:) o:)
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12855 on: July 14, 2019, 01:31:28 AM »
A golf club walked into a bar and asked the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refused to serve him.

"Why not?" asked the golf club.

The bartender replied "You'll be driving today."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12856 on: July 14, 2019, 01:36:33 AM »
It was reported that President Trump took several ethically questionable golf trips paid for by foreign lobbyists, and that his wife and children were paid $500,000 each from his own political action committee.

Trump referred to the allegations as 'Just another seedy attempt by the fake media to embarrass me with my own actions, words, and illegal doings."
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Offline Flip

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12857 on: July 14, 2019, 04:41:14 AM »

MMMMMMM - - - Didn't know that because he's hiding out in Ireland at the moment - - - KILLary's phedo hubby was considered to be a legitimate 'foreign lobbyist' - of course NOTHING the Clinton clan have ever done in the past, had ever been even slightly legitimate - or even slightly legal !!!  :spank :spank :spank
HELL - -  - we know KILLARY had one UGLY baby a few decades ago - - - to this day, no-one is sure who the real father might be, but pretty sure it's NOT Bill 'the pedo' anyway  !!!   :think1

What a world we live in these days !!!   Come o that - where is 'little Billy Short-Ass hiding these days ????   :OldMan :OldMan :OldMan
But I AM Napoleon I tell you !
Where am I now that I need me ???
ALL others on the roads are idiots - ride accordingly !
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12858 on: July 14, 2019, 03:27:15 PM »
More whales in the local area here today.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12859 on: July 14, 2019, 07:44:07 PM »
Very windy here today...  Flying birds were losing ground to the wind.

Friend pointed upwards and said.. "Check this out! ... the birds are flying backwards?"

I replied "They are just trying to keep the rain out of their eyes!"
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Online Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12860 on: July 15, 2019, 11:01:37 AM »
It got a bit cool in Toowoomba this morning 0° at 7.10 feels like -5.8
Coldest it has been for quite a while
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12861 on: July 15, 2019, 11:07:49 AM »
On the same vein Leo, Reject Shop is currently selling Thermal socks for just $7. Warmest my feet have felt in months!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12862 on: July 15, 2019, 02:50:54 PM »
McCarthy walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.
"Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McCarthy had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12863 on: July 15, 2019, 04:01:09 PM »
What do Iran and Hiroshima have in common?

Nothing, (Yet)

But Donald is working on it ...
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12864 on: July 15, 2019, 04:29:34 PM »
Iran has a Tehran and in Hiroshima tehran for cover in 1945.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12865 on: July 15, 2019, 05:51:36 PM »
Good pun!  :grin :thumb
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12866 on: July 15, 2019, 11:46:19 PM »
Screenophobia ... the irrational fear of millennials, of not having their phone attached to their hand.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12867 on: July 16, 2019, 02:35:41 AM »
Idiotology .. the unnecessary qualification of being able to identify a trustworthy politician.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12868 on: July 16, 2019, 05:54:01 AM »
I'm in great mood because the other day I entered a competition, and I won a years supply of Marmite.

......... one jar.

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Offline NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12869 on: July 16, 2019, 08:12:56 AM »
There's no such thing.

Idiotology .. the unnecessary qualification of being able to identify a trustworthy politician.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12870 on: July 16, 2019, 09:35:57 AM »
EGGZACKERY!  :thumb
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12871 on: July 16, 2019, 02:19:47 PM »
Bumper Sticker ...

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12872 on: July 16, 2019, 10:30:34 PM »
BEWARE!

People complain about being hit by pigeon crap or seagull crap when outdoors.

But there is a far worse bird in Australia, the arrogant FOO bird!
Foo birds fly in packs, fully supporting each other, and they have a grudge against mankind.

If you are unfortunate enough to be hit by flying Foo crap, do not attempt to remove it, or the whole pack will viciously attack you!

Always remember the old adage, ... If the Foo shits, wear it!
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Offline NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12873 on: July 16, 2019, 11:00:42 PM »
Must be talking about the Canberran pollywaffles again are we Kev. :Norty :grin :grin :grin :grin
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12874 on: July 16, 2019, 11:04:25 PM »
 :grin
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