Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3069122 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10175 on:** December 24, 2018, 07:53:15 PM »

Trump .... The original Star Spangled Bummer.

Shillas · « **Reply #10176 on:** December 24, 2018, 10:25:12 PM »

CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN OLDER LADY. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON!!.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10177 on:** December 24, 2018, 10:32:06 PM »

All the best Michael

Bodø · « **Reply #10178 on:** December 24, 2018, 10:52:03 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10179 on:** December 24, 2018, 11:47:50 PM »

Bloke in jeans and tee shirt was shouting 'Ho! Ho! Ho!'

I tapped him on the shoulder and said "If you wanna play Santa, get a red suit, and call Ho Ho Ho in a less agressive manner?"

He replied "Santa? Nah! ... I was shouting abuse at that trollop down there on the corner!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10180 on:** December 25, 2018, 12:05:56 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10181 on:** December 25, 2018, 05:10:34 AM »

Doing nothing is difficult, because you never know when you're finished?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10182 on:** December 25, 2018, 05:13:20 AM »

Some days I wake up grumpy;

... other times I let her sleep

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10183 on:** December 25, 2018, 12:02:13 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10184 on:** December 25, 2018, 12:15:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10185 on:** December 25, 2018, 02:11:54 PM »

Mike Tysons dream is of one day meeting Tony Abbott.

My dream is that he would bite off Tonys tongue as well..

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10186 on:** December 25, 2018, 05:58:21 PM »

Well, I had a quiet day at home with no visitors. Very little traffic going past outside.
Spent most of the day playing a 'shoot em up' game on the computer.
Three phone calls, (but one of those was a scammer) and some text messages and emails from friends.
Highlight of the day was a 5 minute trip to the servo, where I bought a ham and cheese sanga for lunch.
(I couldn't be bothered cooking)

Bodø · « **Reply #10187 on:** December 25, 2018, 06:32:15 PM »

38°C here so I didn't go outside, except to water the garden.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10188 on:** December 25, 2018, 06:39:04 PM »

17 here after a top of 23 earlier

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10189 on:** December 25, 2018, 09:28:46 PM »

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice.
"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He walked on, and as he was about to cross the road, once again the voice shouted:
"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run you down and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10190 on:** December 25, 2018, 09:49:01 PM »

A lawyer's wife died.

At the cemetery, friends and family are appalled to see that the tombstone reads:
"Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice."

Suddenly, Murray burst into tears.
His brother said, "You should cry, pulling a lousy stunt like this!"
Through his tears, Murray croaked, "You don't understand! ... They left out my phone number!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10191 on:** December 25, 2018, 09:55:08 PM »

How odd?

Just yesterday shopping centres were overcrowded, with no parking available for blocks!

36 hours later, shopping centres are closed and abandoned, and there is hardly a car on the streets?

NTRebel · « **Reply #10192 on:** December 25, 2018, 10:01:17 PM »

You should be so lucky up here everyone starts pulling into the Coles carpark at 6am and wanting to know why they're not open happens every year. Talk about thick.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10193 on:** December 25, 2018, 10:12:00 PM »

We don't even HAVE a Coles here... closest one is either Hamilton, Mount Gambier or Warrnambool, each is a 2 hour return drive.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10194 on:** December 26, 2018, 05:27:58 AM »

News headlines priorities.

Boxing Day sales bargains today promise to be outstanding!
(five minutes describing the crowds outside Myers)

Sydney gearing up for the big sailing race today.
(footage of a few flashback pix of previous highlights)

(Commercial break to advertise beer)

Vid report of Trump hinting by phone to a 7 year old that Santa is not real.

(Commercial break to advertise bedding)

.... Oh yeah... Um! ... and 400+ Indonesians are dead after Tsunami.

Sad, really

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10195 on:** December 26, 2018, 08:42:16 AM »

I really hope that Newpapers remain available for many years ... Where else would we get such entertaining articles as these?

(Unsure if he qualifies for work cover after head-butting work equipment)

Wild Rose · « **Reply #10196 on:** December 26, 2018, 09:02:08 AM »

Some very good ones there Kev

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10197 on:** December 26, 2018, 09:05:24 AM »

took awhile to round them all up, Leo

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10198 on:** December 26, 2018, 09:06:42 AM »

I'm in great mood today, because I entered a competition and I won a 10 years supply of peanut paste.

One jar.

(The last jar I threw out just a couple of months ago was still half full, and had a use by date of 2013)

Bodø · « **Reply #10199 on:** December 26, 2018, 09:09:40 AM »

You might have to spread it around.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3069122 times)

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