Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927525 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14225 on: September 29, 2019, 05:18:59 AM »
Denmark WA is just a town not a country. I last passed through there on the way from Perth to Albany on the way home to Whyalla in March 1976, about 5 months before re-entering the Army.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14226 on: September 29, 2019, 05:34:54 AM »
Where did I say it was a country?
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14227 on: September 29, 2019, 05:38:05 AM »
Denmark is not the only country beginning with D.  I'm not sure how many red anteaters there are in Dominica either.
 
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Offline ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14228 on: September 29, 2019, 09:00:10 AM »
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

I ended up with an Aqua Koala... :whistle


        2005 Honda ST1300A
 
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14229 on: September 29, 2019, 07:15:20 PM »
So I joined Weight Watchers via their website, and they asked if I accept cookies.

Is this some kind of test?
Shillas :13Candy

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ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14230 on: September 29, 2019, 07:17:44 PM »
It's click bait.
 

Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14231 on: September 29, 2019, 07:19:58 PM »
I have a resolution if you want to look smaller.  Just use fewer pixels.
 
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14232 on: September 29, 2019, 08:00:26 PM »
My wife convinced me to wear a hideous leather motorcycle jacket that she got for me.

I guess I'm easily suede.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14233 on: September 29, 2019, 08:13:12 PM »
Sometimes I like to choose my wife's underwear, but it's a bit of a stretch.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14234 on: September 29, 2019, 08:52:00 PM »
While chewsing, don't get them stuck in your teeth
« Last Edit: September 29, 2019, 08:56:31 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14235 on: September 30, 2019, 02:46:37 AM »
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "This is a Porsche Spyder."

Again, the buyer is aghast, "What is with car companies naming them after insects?!
... What's next, a Volkswagen bloody Beetle?!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14236 on: September 30, 2019, 02:49:59 AM »
A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60’s together in one place.

After a year of hammering, sawing and painting, the palace is finally finished.
It’s perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts.
Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations.
A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of other 60’s luminaries standing in the grass, but none are coming inside. Paul McCartney is playing cards with Mick Jagger.

The billionaire is stunned. “I’ve spent a year building this palace, making it perfect in every detail for the best musicians the 60’s has ever known. Why won’t you come inside?”

John Lennon adjusts his glasses and calls out: “You forgot The Doors.”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14237 on: September 30, 2019, 03:03:13 AM »
The couple were at a cattle show and the wife said: "Bulls engage in sexual activity more than 20 times in a day.
I wish you could do that..."

Under his breath the husband mumbled: "Not with the same cow, tho..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14238 on: September 30, 2019, 03:48:07 AM »
The local fishing fleet has docked, the crews have collected all their marine floats and distributed them on the streets.



... That's right,  ...  the buoys are back in town.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14239 on: September 30, 2019, 04:04:59 AM »
I saw a butterfly with no wings today.

I poured some Red Bull on it, and BAM!





... It drowned...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14240 on: September 30, 2019, 04:56:30 PM »
During a lady’s medical examination, the doctor says:- “Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.
… Now it's time to show me the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”

The lady starts taking off her underwear, but is interrupted by the doctor. …

“No! No! Don’t remove your clothes… Just stick your tongue out!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14241 on: September 30, 2019, 05:40:42 PM »
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!"

The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. This is Air Force One..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14242 on: September 30, 2019, 06:34:33 PM »
Would a pregnant flight attendant be classified as Pilot Error?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14243 on: September 30, 2019, 06:38:19 PM »
How many prison guards does it take to throw a juvenile inmate down a flight of steps?




None, he slipped!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14244 on: September 30, 2019, 06:48:45 PM »
A Jewish mother was on a flight from New York to Boston.

The plane took off. After a while she stood up and asked loudly: “Is there a doctor on this plane?”

A man came up quickly and said: “I’m a doctor, what's the matter?”

The woman replied: “Would you like to meet my daughter?”
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14245 on: September 30, 2019, 08:37:29 PM »
Irony is getting pregnant on a pull out couch.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14246 on: September 30, 2019, 08:41:48 PM »
 :grin :crackup
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14247 on: September 30, 2019, 10:18:37 PM »
A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway.

You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.

They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000 an inch.

The man perks up.

So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want.

But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable.

If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.

Ill give you the night to consider your options."

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?”

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?”

"Yes," says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen.''
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14248 on: September 30, 2019, 10:34:23 PM »
You only need 2.5 inches to pleasure a woman.


Doesn't matter if it's Visa or Mastercard.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14249 on: September 30, 2019, 10:38:57 PM »
An airplane yells at his son:


"If you don't make an attitude adjustment immediately, you're going to get grounded!"
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