Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3045988 times)

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13925 on: September 12, 2019, 09:11:12 AM »
Global warming.

Dear liberals, stop crying about being called a snowflake.

In 20 years, nobody will remember what snowflakes are, anyway.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13926 on: September 12, 2019, 12:06:26 PM »
They don't play golf in the Paralympics ...

... because it would be really awkward, asking what their handicap was.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13927 on: September 12, 2019, 03:11:04 PM »
I hate this attention deficit disorder, because I get so easily distrac - Oh look! ... a puppy!
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13928 on: September 12, 2019, 03:14:26 PM »
Wife: "I regret getting you that food blender for Christmas!"

Husband: (*sipping toasted cheese*) "Why?"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13929 on: September 12, 2019, 03:17:48 PM »
At a wedding reception, the groom’s grandfather stood up to make his toast.

Having been married for 60 years, he wanted to pass on his secret to the newlyweds.

The grandfather addressed the happy couple, saying “The tip to a happy and long lasting marriage, is to beat your wife up every morning.”

An uncomfortable silence followed.

The grandfather continued, “Yes, I beat my wife up every morning.
I get up around 6:30, and she gets up around 8.”
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13930 on: September 12, 2019, 09:08:37 PM »
Mr. Tickle met the woman of his dreams, and married her.

However, Tess was reluctant to take his surname.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13931 on: September 12, 2019, 09:11:43 PM »
My least favourite colour is  purple.

I dislike it more than red and blue combined.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13932 on: September 12, 2019, 09:12:11 PM »
 :rofl
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13933 on: September 12, 2019, 09:13:27 PM »
Mr. Tickle met the woman of his dreams, and married her.

However, Tess was reluctant to take his surname.

 :rofl :thumbs
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13934 on: September 12, 2019, 09:16:35 PM »
News flash......

A woman in India has given birth to a 23 pound boy. Doctors say they expect the child to be walking 6 months before his mum.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13935 on: September 12, 2019, 09:19:03 PM »
We came back from Bali not that long ago. I'm pretty certain that the receptionist at the hotel was checking me out.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13936 on: September 12, 2019, 09:23:06 PM »
You need to be careful if you get an offer of a cheap circumsion. My parents got one for me and I couldn't walk for 12 months after.

Mind you, I was only 5 days old at the time.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Wild Rose, Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13937 on: September 12, 2019, 09:44:16 PM »
 :thumbs Keep them coming!  :grin
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Shillas

  • SA NatRally 2022
  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1986
  • Thanked: 1251 times
  • Better Red than Dead
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13938 on: September 12, 2019, 09:56:48 PM »
Sorry, that's it for the day. See my post under 'member's health and wellbeing'
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13939 on: September 12, 2019, 10:02:45 PM »
Thanks, Michael.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13940 on: September 12, 2019, 11:38:19 PM »
An alien space vessel landed quietly on St Peter's square in Rome.

A hatch opened and two little green men with dazzling smiles appeared.

They were promptly granted an audience with the Pope.

After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope said, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"

"Jesus Christ?!" exclaimed the slightly taller of two aliens.

"Of course we do! He visits our planet every two years or so.
Awesome fellow!"

A hush descended on the audience chamber, and everyone watched the Pope, whose face had turned a rather odd purple.

"Every two years?" he shouted. "We're still waiting for his second coming!"

"Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" suggested the alien.

"Chocolate?" replied the Pope. "What in heaven's name does chocolate have to do with it?"

"Well," said the alien. "When he came to our planet, we gave him chocolate. Why, what did you do?"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13941 on: September 13, 2019, 01:24:31 AM »
Money - The universal language.

"Good morning! ... lovely weather?"

"HAI?"

"How much is this?"

"Fie dollar adyfie!"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13942 on: September 13, 2019, 02:51:56 AM »
At the Registrar of Births, Marriages, and Deaths ...

"Mr and Mrs Gianna ... please reconsider the name for your son.
Palmer is not a good choice, and he will invariably be nicknamed 'Chicken' during his formative years.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13943 on: September 13, 2019, 11:23:35 AM »
You will never see temples/mosques/churches with free WiFi.

It's because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13944 on: September 13, 2019, 11:38:30 AM »
I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.
I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.
Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.
We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specialises in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modelling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side an off-licence called "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance that they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 
The following users thanked this post: winston66, Gerard & Sandra

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13945 on: September 13, 2019, 03:24:48 PM »
Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"
USA: "Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why did you attack Syria now?"
USA: "Because we suspect they have Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Then why didn't you attack North Korea?"
USA: "Are you out of your mind? They really have Weapons of Mass Destruction"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13946 on: September 13, 2019, 04:35:27 PM »
For all those people who say: "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

... This isn't freaking Rome!
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13947 on: September 13, 2019, 04:40:00 PM »
If being sexy is a crime...

Then I have a clean slate.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95209
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13948 on: September 13, 2019, 04:40:54 PM »
The difference between organised crime and the Whitehouse?

The Whitehouse isn’t organised.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Offline Brock

  • Tardis Tech
  • UNBELIEVABLE "5000 Posts" Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 8724
  • Thanked: 1697 times
  • White is the fastest
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13949 on: September 13, 2019, 05:54:39 PM »
Quote
You will never see temples/mosques/churches with free WiFi.

Not quite correct Kev, this Thai Temple in the middle of a huge lake has free wifi..


14° 55.509' N  99° 7.355' E
Brock
Asian Correspondent
2003 Honda ST1100PY



Ulysses #32829
STOC #8239
OzSToc # ??
Kinross WA
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy