Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3061771 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29150 on: April 11, 2021, 07:14:35 PM »
I was reading about this new diet, where you're not allowed to drink alcohol.

Well, I read part of the first sentence, at least.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29151 on: April 11, 2021, 07:18:24 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29152 on: April 11, 2021, 07:20:56 PM »
Someone made a post offending handicapped people, but I didn’t reply.

The comments were disabled.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29153 on: April 11, 2021, 08:46:05 PM »
A bit vegetative... couldn't get a smile from him....

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29154 on: April 11, 2021, 08:52:26 PM »
I apologize for offending you when I called you stupid.

I thought you already knew.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29155 on: April 11, 2021, 08:53:22 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29156 on: April 11, 2021, 09:04:04 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29157 on: April 11, 2021, 09:06:07 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29158 on: April 11, 2021, 09:32:24 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29159 on: April 12, 2021, 02:00:06 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29160 on: April 12, 2021, 08:45:36 AM »
A couple ducks are floating on a pond, and one of them goes, “Quack!”

The other duck looks over and says, “Wow, I was just gonna say that!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29161 on: April 12, 2021, 08:51:53 AM »
A young woman moves in next door to a married couple
One day, the wife looks out of the window and sees the woman hanging her laundry to dry and it look dirty. She says to her husband, "Why is her laundry so dirty? Does she not know how to do laundry properly? Maybe she has bad laundry detergent?"

The husband doesn't say a word. Time and time again, the married couple sees the young woman hanging her laundry to dry and every time it looks dirty.

Then one day, the wife sees that all of a sudden the woman's laundry is perfectly spotless.
She says to her husband, "I wonder what she did to make her laundry so clean?"

The husband replies, "I got up early today, and cleaned our windows."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29162 on: April 12, 2021, 08:54:02 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29163 on: April 12, 2021, 09:00:42 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29164 on: April 12, 2021, 09:45:39 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29165 on: April 12, 2021, 09:49:32 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29166 on: April 12, 2021, 09:50:02 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29167 on: April 12, 2021, 10:06:49 AM »
My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes.

I told her to lighten up.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29168 on: April 12, 2021, 10:10:35 AM »
I went to the sex offender registry, and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area.
I sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote all the letters with crayons.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29169 on: April 12, 2021, 10:16:51 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29170 on: April 12, 2021, 10:18:08 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29171 on: April 12, 2021, 12:00:10 PM »
How to offend homeless people.

Tell them knock knock jokes!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29172 on: April 12, 2021, 12:03:59 PM »
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a desolate area popular with young couples doing more than just sitting in the dark.
Catching his attention was a couple in a car with the interior light on. Moving closer, the cop could see a young man behind the steering wheel reading a newspaper. In the backseat a young blonde was knitting.

The lawman walked up to the vehicle and knocked on the driver-side window. The startled lad rolled it down and said, “Yes, Officer?”

“What are you doing?” the cop asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” the young man replied. “I’m reading today’s newspaper.”

Pointing to the blonde in the backseat, the policeman grunted, “And what’s she doing?”

“I believe she’s knitting a sweater,” the guy behind the wheel responded.

“How old are you?” the cop inquired.

“I’m 22, Officer.”

“And the girl—how old is she?”

The dude in the driver’s seat looked at his watch and said, “She’ll turn 18 in ten minutes.”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29173 on: April 12, 2021, 12:04:59 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #29174 on: April 12, 2021, 12:13:08 PM »
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her.

I just swam for the surface.
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