Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068138 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33350 on:** June 24, 2021, 09:38:26 AM »

Still chilly outside. 9.30 am 7 degrees outside. With wind chill, feels like 4 degrees.
Full overcast with no clear sky visible but no rain until maybe later this afternoon.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33351 on:** June 24, 2021, 09:57:15 AM »

NTRebel · « **Reply #33352 on:** June 24, 2021, 10:05:42 AM »

Don't worry Kev 9.30 up here and it's 8.3 feels like 5.1 with a top of 16 for the day.

Quote from: Kev Murphy on June 24, 2021, 09:38:26 AM

Still chilly outside. 9.30 am 7 degrees outside. With wind chill, feels like 4 degrees.
Full overcast with no clear sky visible but no rain until maybe later this afternoon.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33353 on:** June 24, 2021, 10:06:14 AM »

After a long night of making love the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?"
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" asked the bewildered guy.
The girl replied, "That's me before the surgery.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33354 on:** June 24, 2021, 10:07:49 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33355 on:** June 24, 2021, 01:54:00 PM »

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33356 on:** June 24, 2021, 01:54:45 PM »

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33357 on:** June 24, 2021, 01:55:24 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33358 on:** June 24, 2021, 01:58:14 PM »

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33359 on:** June 24, 2021, 01:59:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33360 on:** June 24, 2021, 02:02:04 PM »

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33361 on:** June 24, 2021, 02:02:27 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33362 on:** June 24, 2021, 05:22:18 PM »

Frustration is trying to find your glasses - without your glasses.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33363 on:** June 24, 2021, 05:53:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33364 on:** June 24, 2021, 05:55:00 PM »

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33365 on:** June 24, 2021, 06:12:16 PM »

“I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'?

Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages into urine”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33366 on:** June 24, 2021, 06:50:23 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33367 on:** June 24, 2021, 06:58:25 PM »

Maybe the name of the game should be changed to footcrutch?
Intense concentration required to kick the ~~balls~~ err, ball.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33368 on:** June 24, 2021, 07:34:58 PM »

The first methane powered vehicle.
(Suspension needs some improvement)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33369 on:** June 24, 2021, 07:55:31 PM »

I went shopping the other day for cherries and a new microphone.

Bought a BING, bought a BOOM

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33370 on:** June 24, 2021, 07:56:40 PM »

I recently started a boat shop in my attic

Sails have been going though the roof.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33371 on:** June 24, 2021, 07:58:48 PM »

Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken.

When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave.
Donald quickly stopped him saying: “No thanks, Melania will smell that, and think I’ve been in a brothel.”

The second barber turned to Biden and said, “How about you, Mr. Biden?”
Joe replied, “ Go ahead, Jill doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33372 on:** June 24, 2021, 08:00:06 PM »

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day, for some 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33373 on:** June 24, 2021, 09:35:24 PM »

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything else that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favour 15 to 2."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #33374 on:** June 24, 2021, 09:37:22 PM »

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture & watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068138 times)