Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3067931 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13650 on:** September 01, 2019, 11:16:09 AM »

Another rowdy day here, local foolball final or grand final, (whatever), across the road and the horn honkers, whistle blowers, screamers and fence bashers are already in residence for the day. On the high side. the black clouds are rolling in, and it will soon confine them to their cars.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13651 on:** September 01, 2019, 11:18:46 AM »

How about that?... not even two minutes later, and the wind and rain is slamming down!

Was sunshine here a half hour ago when I went to the supermarket?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13652 on:** September 01, 2019, 11:27:01 AM »

The game continues. Even the spectators and my cats have the sense to seek shelter from the cold, and these clowns are running around in the rain wearing short sleeved shirts and shorts with heaps more bad weather coming.

11.30 am
Portland 9.4°C
Feels Like 6.4°C

NTRebel · « **Reply #13653 on:** September 01, 2019, 01:12:09 PM »

28.7 feels like23.3 at 12-20 here Kev

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13654 on:** September 01, 2019, 02:42:30 PM »

NTRebel · « **Reply #13655 on:** September 01, 2019, 03:16:16 PM »

Thought you'd like that.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13656 on:** September 01, 2019, 04:00:03 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13657 on:** September 01, 2019, 04:07:06 PM »

An elderly woman with a shaky voice walks into a sex shop and asks, "Do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?"

The store worker told her "Yes we do, ma'am."

She replied, "H-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13658 on:** September 01, 2019, 06:16:43 PM »

Scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat!

Like, there aren't enough of them already?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13659 on:** September 01, 2019, 10:07:32 PM »

I was pulled over last night, and the police officer asked me if I had a police record.

I told him “No, but I have a couple of albums by Sting?"

« **Reply #13660 on:** September 01, 2019, 10:25:15 PM »

I'd have told him not to stand so close to me.

Bodø · « **Reply #13661 on:** September 01, 2019, 10:25:57 PM »

Oh, and The Police were better than any of sting's solo work.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13662 on:** September 01, 2019, 11:37:42 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13663 on:** September 02, 2019, 01:51:08 AM »

Hong Kong police like to show up to work early, so they can beat the crowds.

Ok, ok... I know it's black humour, and a bit topical at the moment.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13664 on:** September 02, 2019, 02:19:38 AM »

Police pulled over an afro-american in a BMW

After extensive investigations and many phone calls they found that despite the fact that he's black, has a good job, has no criminal record and he owns out-rite the BMW he was driving, they arrested him for wasting valuable police time.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13665 on:** September 02, 2019, 02:22:26 AM »

Polce n the cty toay have sa they are nvestgatng a strng of ID thefts

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13666 on:** September 02, 2019, 02:41:07 AM »

There's a prison island in San Francisco Bay that tourist boats try to avoid.
Apparently one of the inmates had a bad habit of reaching out from his cell window and 'flipping off' passing boats.

He was widely known as the 'The bird-man of Alcatraz'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13667 on:** September 02, 2019, 05:14:55 AM »

Another cold morning.

5 am
Portland 4.4°C
Feels like 2.2°C

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13668 on:** September 02, 2019, 05:38:49 AM »

Still better than the Bahamas at the moment, 300 km winds, with gusts to 350 kph!

NTRebel · « **Reply #13669 on:** September 02, 2019, 06:09:54 AM »

5-30 here and 8.7 feels like 4.2

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13670 on:** September 02, 2019, 06:17:46 AM »

Stay warm, Paul.

NTRebel · « **Reply #13671 on:** September 02, 2019, 06:44:23 AM »

Will do going for a top of 31 today. That's probably 5 times what your top temp is going to be.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13672 on:** September 02, 2019, 10:19:08 AM »

Would a schizophrenic detective question him own motives?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13673 on:** September 02, 2019, 10:20:52 AM »

There's a report on the news that Hong Kong Police like to go clubbing at the end of their shift....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13674 on:** September 02, 2019, 10:27:52 AM »

Little Johnny dialled 911.

Operator: "Hello, can you please state your emergency."

Little Johnny: "I need help here, two girls are fighting over me!"

Operator: "So what's the problem then?"

Little Johnny: "The fugly one is winning!"

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3067931 times)

Bodø