Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068709 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20526 on:** September 14, 2020, 02:30:46 AM »

Pass my bike into the mechanic late this afternoon. Service, tune, general inspection, and a new rear tyre to be fitted.
Pick it up again Tuesday afternoon.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20527 on:** September 14, 2020, 05:52:04 AM »

Hey, Spamdrews!

How come you keep adding potholes to the road out?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20528 on:** September 14, 2020, 07:48:56 AM »

Weekend Melbourne riots.

Who the hell is this 'DOM' fella that they demanded to be released?

(FREE DOM! ... FREE DOM!)

ST1100_GREG · « **Reply #20529 on:** September 14, 2020, 11:47:40 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on July 07, 2020, 09:28:01 PM

Around 26 thousand, Richo... 37 TerraBytes of storage..

Name it, I probably have it... first one is dated 1903, The First Great Train Robbery. (and up to present day releases.)

Correct me if I'm wrong but I dont think they had 64 bit computers in 1903 :doh!

Sent from my SM-T580 using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20530 on:** September 14, 2020, 11:52:06 AM »

They didn't have computers Greg, but they did make movies which are still available.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20531 on:** September 14, 2020, 11:58:42 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20532 on:** September 14, 2020, 12:28:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20533 on:** September 14, 2020, 12:35:55 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20534 on:** September 14, 2020, 01:21:17 PM »

There is one truly inspirational book that has helped me throughout my entire life.

... my cheque book.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20535 on:** September 14, 2020, 01:30:42 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20536 on:** September 14, 2020, 01:31:25 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20537 on:** September 14, 2020, 01:34:25 PM »

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20538 on:** September 14, 2020, 02:23:04 PM »

I have a married deaf couple as friends.

An argument broke out between them while I was visiting, so I turned out the lights.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20539 on:** September 14, 2020, 03:23:44 PM »

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit there.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20540 on:** September 14, 2020, 04:17:53 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20541 on:** September 14, 2020, 04:22:25 PM »

How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20542 on:** September 14, 2020, 04:56:40 PM »

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.

She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant?, am I pregnant?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20543 on:** September 14, 2020, 05:05:09 PM »

My grandmother said “Knock knock”,

I said “Who’s there?”

Then she said “I can’t remember”… and started to cry.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20544 on:** September 14, 2020, 05:21:35 PM »

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20545 on:** September 14, 2020, 05:44:53 PM »

Ladies, it is amazing that you have a beverage coming out of your nipple?

Good thing that guys can't do it.

... Or we'd spend the whole day squirting each other.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20546 on:** September 14, 2020, 05:57:04 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20547 on:** September 14, 2020, 06:17:35 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20548 on:** September 14, 2020, 06:38:38 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #20549 on:** September 14, 2020, 06:44:38 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068709 times)