OzSTOC
No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: Poppy Dave on July 17, 2012, 12:01:55 AM
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I absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. enjoy
Dear Ms. Gillard,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander themoney
on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .......
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme
that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to
reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
Grumpies of the World Unite
Also .
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and
walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it
out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay
$600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
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THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a
Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for
centuries and we're not using it anymore.
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THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians......
It creates a hostile work environment.
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Also;
Think about this .... If you don't want to forward this for fear of
offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy
old folk of Australia to speak up!
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:wht11 py
Absolutely Brilliant :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++
I have copied it and printed it and sent it on
Tipsy
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Hate to be a wet blanket, but that's TEN TRILLION DOLLARS you're calling for, and even Kevin Rudd didn't give away that much.
Another tiny quibble... when did just under half the Oz population age beyond 50?
That said, the principles are so good they will never happen. :-X
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:wht11 py
Aaaaw C'mon the pollies fudge the statistics ALL the time Biggles so what's a little artistic licence from time to time
:whistle :whistle :whistle :nahnah
Tipsy