Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3061578 times)

STeveo · « **Reply #12027 on:** April 24, 2019, 06:42:04 PM »

That is sadly so true, Kev.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12028 on:** April 24, 2019, 06:46:56 PM »

I know, the number of my mates who are no longer around increases each year.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12029 on:** April 24, 2019, 09:45:35 PM »

The food served on my last flight was fit for a king.

"Here, King! ... Sit, boy!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12030 on:** April 24, 2019, 09:50:28 PM »

A drunk put a dollar coin into a parking meter, the dial goes to 120.

The drunk says, "Huh. - I lost 30 kilos!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12031 on:** April 24, 2019, 09:56:27 PM »

I bet on a great horse yesterday!

It took seven other horses to beat him.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12032 on:** April 24, 2019, 09:59:53 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12033 on:** April 24, 2019, 10:09:56 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12034 on:** April 24, 2019, 11:16:14 PM »

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

She's been married so many times, she has rice marks on her face.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12035 on:** April 25, 2019, 12:05:45 AM »

A blonde phoned her husband "The car won't start, the engine is flooded."

He asked "Where is it?"

She replied "In the lake!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12036 on:** April 25, 2019, 05:18:01 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12037 on:** April 25, 2019, 05:30:52 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12038 on:** April 25, 2019, 12:33:37 PM »

Going to a Bar Association meeting is similar to going into a bait shop, because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12039 on:** April 25, 2019, 12:37:21 PM »

A new Limited Edition book has just been released, written by Clive F Palmer. (The 'F' stands for F-wit)

It is full of the wit and wisdom of the fat freak, and is printed in large font on both sides of the page.

Available at your favorite news stand for 5 cents. Get in fast, as only 10 copies were printed.

Clive has promised to generously donate a whopping 10% of proceeds from sales to his favorite charity, "Support Me dot com"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12040 on:** April 25, 2019, 12:46:50 PM »

Theres a new bunch of 'Microwave' Lawyers available.

You consult them for 6 minutes, get billed for 6 hours.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12041 on:** April 25, 2019, 02:29:57 PM »

Sign on the door of the Sheriffs office ....

Gone to Lynch, back in 15 mins.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12042 on:** April 25, 2019, 02:48:16 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12043 on:** April 25, 2019, 02:58:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12044 on:** April 25, 2019, 02:59:18 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12045 on:** April 25, 2019, 06:09:08 PM »

The reason that Politicians wear tight ties is to prevent their foreskin from creeping up and covering their face.

STeveo · « **Reply #12046 on:** April 25, 2019, 06:16:56 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12047 on:** April 26, 2019, 03:03:28 AM »

A woman complained to her heart Surgeon.

"You must have fitted my pacemaker incorrectly!

... Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12048 on:** April 26, 2019, 03:10:06 AM »

Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #12049 on:** April 26, 2019, 03:15:19 AM »

Bill Short'un reminds me of Simba.

Simba is an African lion, Bill is always fricken Lyin'.

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Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3061578 times)