Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3068023 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9125 on: September 16, 2018, 06:21:11 AM »
Use wisely.  :grin
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9126 on: September 16, 2018, 06:27:10 AM »
Only in moderation
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9127 on: September 16, 2018, 06:39:58 AM »
I bought a packet of peanuts.
On the label, it said "May contain nuts"

Well YEAH!, thats why I bought them, fool!

I mean, you would really be p*issed off if you opened the pack and it was full of bloody wood screws!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9128 on: September 16, 2018, 06:49:17 AM »
Why do restaurants advertise 'Home Cooking?'

If I wanted home cooking, I wouldn't be there, right?

Besides, they dont say whose home it is. Could be a Mental Home, couldn't it?
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Online Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9129 on: September 16, 2018, 07:01:30 AM »
Why do restaurants advertise 'Home Cooking?'

If I wanted home cooking, I wouldn't be there, right?

Besides, they dont say whose home it is. Could be a Mental Home, couldn't it?

Kev if it was my home cooking you wouldn't get to many people in  :think1
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9130 on: September 16, 2018, 07:06:32 AM »
 :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9131 on: September 16, 2018, 07:17:00 AM »
A friend was visiting me from Melbourne, and asked  "Did you have a good summer here last year?"

I replied "Yeah, happened on a Saturday, and we had a barbeque!"
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Offline Jdbiker

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9132 on: September 16, 2018, 07:23:35 AM »
Good morning Kev  :hatwave
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 1941 Royal Enfield WD/C 350 engine
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9133 on: September 16, 2018, 07:30:54 AM »
Morning JD ... and a Hi! to Vera as well  :hatwave
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9134 on: September 16, 2018, 07:33:02 AM »
American efficiency.

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said "someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. 
   
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people.
One person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. 
   
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people.
One to do the studies and one to write the reports.   
 
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" 
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. 
   
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer,
Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
   
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over-budget.
We must cutback overall cost."     
So they laid off the night watchman.

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Offline NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9135 on: September 16, 2018, 09:40:46 AM »
Good to see you working hard Kev keep it up.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9136 on: September 16, 2018, 10:28:08 AM »
Only 596 posts to go Kev.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9137 on: September 16, 2018, 11:20:08 AM »
Golf. 

Strange game.

Players wished to refer to it by another four letter word, beginning with 'f', but the word was already in use.

Tee off on a par 3 hole by shouting "FORE!", taking six strokes to sink the ball, and writing 5 on the scorecard.

.. while uttering the other name for the game.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9138 on: September 16, 2018, 11:42:37 AM »
"You think so much of your golf game, that you don't even remember our anniversary date!" said the pouting wife.

"Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that forty-foot putt!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9139 on: September 16, 2018, 11:54:45 AM »
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them a lot sooner.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9140 on: September 16, 2018, 03:13:13 PM »
Appears to be some sort of death-ray shining through the window?

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9141 on: September 16, 2018, 03:40:38 PM »
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9142 on: September 16, 2018, 08:08:46 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9143 on: September 16, 2018, 08:23:12 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9144 on: September 16, 2018, 11:15:38 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9145 on: September 16, 2018, 11:48:18 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9146 on: September 17, 2018, 06:50:36 AM »
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them a lot sooner.
And for a lot longer. :grin

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9147 on: September 17, 2018, 06:53:31 AM »
 :crackup
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9148 on: September 18, 2018, 02:01:44 PM »
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9149 on: September 18, 2018, 02:07:09 PM »
 ;-* :thumb
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