Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2925045 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #325 on: March 27, 2016, 10:17:47 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #326 on: March 27, 2016, 10:18:43 PM »
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #327 on: March 27, 2016, 10:19:34 PM »
Lmao

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #328 on: March 29, 2016, 10:27:00 AM »
 

Another wing suit skydiver dies. Its unbelievable what these guys will try.

 

http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk

 

A sad ending but a must see.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #329 on: March 29, 2016, 10:38:04 AM »
The woman applying for a job in a lemon orchard in country Queensland, seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her arts and education degrees from Melbourne University and her job as a social worker and a teacher at the local TAFE college.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!"
"I've been divorced three times, owned a Ford station wagon, a Leyland P76,
supported  Carlton the last 4 years, voted for Tony Abbott and bought shares in Dick Smith.
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Offline StinkyPete

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #330 on: March 29, 2016, 11:05:50 AM »
Another wing suit skydiver dies. Its unbelievable what these guys will try.

http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk

A sad ending but a must see.


 :eek  I can't believe that the footage has actually been published on the internet.   Is there no end to what people are prepared to watch, without thinking of the impact on families of the deceased.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #331 on: March 29, 2016, 11:23:17 AM »


 :eek  I can't believe that the footage has actually been published on the internet.   Is there no end to what people are prepared to watch, without thinking of the impact on families of the deceased.


How about the impact on the winged suiter?  :grin  :crackup
« Last Edit: March 29, 2016, 11:56:08 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #332 on: March 29, 2016, 11:55:33 AM »

Another wing suit skydiver dies. Its unbelievable what these guys will try.

http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk

A sad ending but a must see.


Yep- messed with the wrong guy there!!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #333 on: March 29, 2016, 12:17:01 PM »
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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #334 on: March 29, 2016, 12:35:37 PM »
Another wing suit skydiver dies. Its unbelievable what these guys will try.

http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk

A sad ending but a must see.


 :eek  I can't believe that the footage has actually been published on the internet.   Is there no end to what people are prepared to watch, without thinking of the impact on families of the deceased.

Would it classify as a 'snuff movie'
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #335 on: March 29, 2016, 12:45:33 PM »

[/quote]
Would it classify as a 'snuff movie'
[/quote]

... or just a 'Slapdown?..
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #336 on: March 29, 2016, 02:13:56 PM »
A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith.
Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue."
The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave."
Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Walter the Revolving !"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #337 on: March 29, 2016, 02:43:23 PM »
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father.
While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"
The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."
The man says, "And the Viagra?"
"That prevents him from rolling out of bed in his sleep."

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Offline ST2UP

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #338 on: March 29, 2016, 04:12:24 PM »
And used in a 1/4 dose it stops them peeing in their slippers...... :wink1
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #339 on: March 29, 2016, 04:36:04 PM »
And used in a 1/4 dose it stops them peeing in their slippers...... :wink1


 :rofl :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #340 on: March 30, 2016, 01:35:47 AM »
Of course, Viagra could also be used to ease the pain of sunburnt thighs, by keeping the blanket off ... :crackup :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #341 on: March 30, 2016, 11:04:53 AM »
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man turned his head to the usher but didn't budge.

The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

The man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam pointed his finger in the air and replied "The balcony."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #342 on: March 30, 2016, 11:34:45 AM »
Looks like the spammers have ended their Easter break...  there are 26 spam emails that have arrived in the past 24 hours, 5 of which refer to my Nigerian funds, 3 from the FBI (in Taiwan) regarding my boxes of Nigerian money, 2 from "women" (???) who enjoyed looking an my non-existent Facebook profile, and at last I have started winning lotteries again (3 yesterday, and another this morning) ... and some miscellaneous ones from other lottery winners who want to share their wealth with me.

Even Bill Gates wants to give me 5 million dollars, but I think that offer is a bit sus regarding his email addy, which appears to originate in Belarus......

 Just a special note to "Fred Peters" who supposedly manages winning funds for the UK Lottery. Somehow, you are losing credibility, after I have 'won' the UK lottery several times each week for the past couple of years even tho it is only drawn on Saturday nights, and it is truly remarkable that for the entire duration of those years, the winning numbers remain the same for each and every drawing (including the supplementary number, 33) This spam is more persistent than the Russian 'CandianPharmcy' Viagra ads.(of which there are two which arrived an hour ago)
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #343 on: March 31, 2016, 09:09:42 AM »
Shortly it will become compulsory for senior citizens to carry not only their ID, but also their insurance documents, their prescription list, a compact version of their medical file, the statement declaring if they want to be resuscitated after a heart attack, stroke, etc. etc.

Consequently, a lot of paperwork will have to be carried when a senior citizen goes out the front door OR When they Travel!

Specifically for this purpose, a special "Senior USB Stick" has been developed.



Wow! Two Bites of information. Blue Tooth technology to fit your lifestyle.
Expanded Memory can be arranged. Something to chew on.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #344 on: March 31, 2016, 09:51:43 AM »
Random thoughts

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week.
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!
Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #345 on: March 31, 2016, 06:45:11 PM »
... almost dark.... Neighbour has parked his Kwaka in the usual spot, and tomorrow is April fools day...


 Several weeks ago I bought a cheap harmonica...

I intend to fix it out of sight with duct tape, below his headlight.

Do you have any idea how noisy those things are at speed in the slipstream???

 :runyay
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #346 on: April 01, 2016, 03:00:00 AM »
This 'Arial skiing' thing has me confused.....

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #347 on: April 01, 2016, 06:46:37 AM »
Well, harmonica prank worked a treat!... 5 minutes of merriment.
I was making coffee and watching from the kitchen window as Wazza jumped on his bike to head for work, 7.35 am, just on first light.
Past the roundabout and second gear, and the howling started!


He stopped about 75 metres up the road and was wriggling the screen, the plastics, searching for the vibration. Got back on and continued ... and the howling started again!
Second stop he got a torch from his top bag... first of all, he checked the exhausts, then gave the bike a thorough going over.

A couple of minutes spent squatting by the front wheel, then back in the saddle and a 'yewie', to park in front of my kitchen window.

A huge grin from him, and a thumbs up, and he continued on to work. Will hear more from him when he gets home from work later today. 

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #348 on: April 01, 2016, 08:27:29 AM »
Odd shaped little pop top caravan parked across the road this morning..
Looks like a hybrid cross between a DC9 nose cone and a Toyota Van?

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #349 on: April 01, 2016, 09:28:27 AM »
Well, harmonica prank worked a treat!... 5 minutes of merriment.
I was making coffee and watching from the kitchen window as Wazza jumped on his bike to head for work, 7.35 am, just on first light.
Past the roundabout and second gear, and the howling started!


He stopped about 75 metres up the road and was wriggling the screen, the plastics, searching for the vibration. Got back on and continued ... and the howling started again!
Second stop he got a torch from his top bag... first of all, he checked the exhausts, then gave the bike a thorough going over.

A couple of minutes spent squatting by the front wheel, then back in the saddle and a 'yewie', to park in front of my kitchen window.

A huge grin from him, and a thumbs up, and he continued on to work. Will hear more from him when he gets home from work later today. 



 I'll bet you cannot wait to see what he returns to you.  :clap
 
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