Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927399 times)

Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #425 on: April 11, 2016, 06:07:27 AM »
EFFECTIVE SUICIDE COUNSELLING!

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.

A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a shag before you go?"

She screamed, "NO! Bugger off you filthy old bastard!"

He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."

She didn't jump.........
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #426 on: April 11, 2016, 06:13:45 AM »
 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #427 on: April 11, 2016, 06:17:13 AM »
In their misguided wisdom, Telstra gave me a free wireless Samsung tablet a week ago.
Apparently its a videophone, camera, internet browser, and can accept email, etc.

After a week of prodding and poking, I can now charge it, and turn it off and on.
Even if someone rang me, I don’t know how to operate it to take the call?
As for what else it is supposedly capable of, I have no - freaking - idea?
 :o
At least after receiving my Telstra bill yesterday, I am now aware of the phone number assigned to the device.

So, I am paying $30 per month for the phone capabilities that it possesses
somewhere in its skinny guts, but dunno how to operate that function.
They can’t charge me for data usage, because I have yet to find out
how the hell to access the Internet with it?

I would probably find more practical use from a cat carry handle, or maybe even
an electric spoon, or recorded air guitar music.....

It is currently being used as a $300 flashy paperweight that is big enough for the cats sleep on.
(It's warm after charging)

« Last Edit: April 11, 2016, 06:20:50 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #428 on: April 11, 2016, 09:08:23 PM »
Pretty easy to spot what inspired this guys moves...

http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/My%20Moves_zpsphkg2h6m.mp4
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #429 on: April 13, 2016, 04:28:05 PM »
Extreme Fishing... Never know what you will catch!

http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/Gone%20Fishing_zps8iprmhka.mp4
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #430 on: April 13, 2016, 05:39:58 PM »
In their misguided wisdom, Telstra gave me a free wireless Samsung tablet a week ago.
Apparently its a videophone, camera, internet browser, and can accept email, etc.

After a week of prodding and poking, I can now charge it, and turn it off and on.
Even if someone rang me, I don’t know how to operate it to take the call?
As for what else it is supposedly capable of, I have no - freaking - idea?
 :o
At least after receiving my Telstra bill yesterday, I am now aware of the phone number assigned to the device.

 :blu13 I'll buy it :thumbs :rockon   :blu13left ;-*

So, I am paying $30 per month for the phone capabilities that it possesses
somewhere in its skinny guts, but dunno how to operate that function.
They can’t charge me for data usage, because I have yet to find out
how the hell to access the Internet with it?

I would probably find more practical use from a cat carry handle, or maybe even
an electric spoon, or recorded air guitar music.....

It is currently being used as a $300 flashy paperweight that is big enough for the cats sleep on.
(It's warm after charging)
CHEERS
DRACO :)

Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
Kawasaki Z650, Kawasaki Z1R Mk ll (mint green)
FJ1200 Yamaha 1995, Kawasaki Z1100
Kawasaki Z1000, FJ1200 Yamaha 1995
FJ1200 Yamaha 1992, FJR1300 Yamaha 2004
ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #431 on: April 14, 2016, 01:33:59 AM »
Latest scam call...

Pin-brained Punjabi phone call, 9.44 pm... identified as 'overseas' on caller ID

Offered me shares in a goldmine, guaranteeing 300% profit markup within two months, I led him on, asking for details which he was happy to supply for around eight minutes. When he asked me how much I could invest, I told him I have 34 cents in the bank. He got all shirty and abused ‘ME’ for wasting ‘HIS’ time and hung up ...

I loved jerking his chain ... sort of capped off a boring evening at home...



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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #432 on: April 14, 2016, 01:42:30 AM »
Well!.. THAT was educational? 1.38 am (entertaining, too!)

Just had a non-reflective indigenous person walk up the street, screaming abuse over his shoulder.
He is not drunk, as he was striding vigorously, waving his arms around and shouting and hollering.

There is not another soul in sight, so my guess is drugs.

He appears so high, that he should have submitted a flight plan...
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #433 on: April 14, 2016, 02:28:27 AM »
Not enough Faith...

The bible thumping faith healers hit town, and as they set up the tent, they posted notices all over town.
Came opening, about 80 people attended. The bible thumper called
"Is there anyone here with any disability that wishes to be cured by Faith?"
One gent stepped fwd.. "And what's your name?" the healer cried.
"Oh... by dame is Vrang!"
"I see you have a cleft palate Frank!.. step up on stage behind that curtain!... is there anyone else with a disability?"
Another chap shuffled forward on crutches.
"I see that you have a broken tibia!.. and what's your name?
"Charlie" he replied
"Well Charlie, step up behind the screen with frank!"

"Now, does everybody have Faith?" he cried
The audience murmured in the affirmative.
"Then let us all pray for Charlie and Frank!"
.. and they prayed up a storm...

He called "Charlie!.. your leg has healed!... you can throw away the crutches!"
.... and the crutches were flung from behind the screen..
"Frank!.. you are healed!... say something, Frank?"

"Jarly jus faw art ober durky!!!"
« Last Edit: April 14, 2016, 03:37:25 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #434 on: April 14, 2016, 05:34:12 AM »
Kings Cross is so quiet now, when out of towners jump into a cab and say "Take me to where the action is!" , they are invariably dumped at the gates of the SCG!
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #435 on: April 14, 2016, 09:21:14 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #436 on: April 15, 2016, 12:48:00 AM »
Interesting very short trip. (8 blocks, 15 mins, total)
Rode down to the bank 12.15 am to grab some cash, on the way spotted a car pulled over by the :law. (blow in the tube, boy!)
 Collected some cash from the hole in the wall, and headed for the all night servo for an iced coffee... Regular pastime when pension is credited to my account.
 :cop now had another 6 cars pulled over for breatho. As I pulled in at the back of the line,  :cop stepped back and waved me through.
Ten minutes later on the return trip, they were on the opposite side of the road and I again joined a line of another waiting 4 cars only to be waved through again.

The heady benefits of a small town, and they know that I don't drink.  :thumbsup   

:dred11
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #437 on: April 15, 2016, 02:44:07 AM »
Two  cops that were manning the breatho just left.. they dropped in here for a coffee at the end of their shift  :grin
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #438 on: April 15, 2016, 04:25:16 AM »
Hmmm ... restless night... been trying to figure out why?

Maybe something to do with the fact I forgot to eat yesterday.

Never mind, no time like the present... chicken kebabs now in the oven, should be cooked in ten minutes.

Have some nice fresh-made mango flavoured yoghurt in the fridge as well...
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #439 on: April 15, 2016, 04:33:52 AM »
On reflection, I don't think I had a meal on Wednesday, either?

 Blame it on senility.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #440 on: April 15, 2016, 05:23:43 AM »
Oh dear!

Seems that the FBI are investigating me about fraudulent money laundering, according to an email.
 
I didn’t realise that the FBI were based in Taiwan? (origin of the email)
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #441 on: April 15, 2016, 06:49:31 AM »
Was going to have a coffee, but no milk in the fridge... Supermarket opens in ten minutes, tho?
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #442 on: April 15, 2016, 06:52:18 AM »
Was going to have a coffee, but no milk in the fridge... Supermarket opens in ten minutes, tho?
Ride

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DRACO :)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #443 on: April 15, 2016, 07:48:46 AM »
grocery shopping done, having a coffee, nice and crisp outside, reckon I might do that, Jd  ... just have to make up my mind whether Mt Gambier or Warrnambool?
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #444 on: April 15, 2016, 07:50:09 AM »
grocery shopping done, having a coffee, nice and crisp outside, reckon I might do that, Jd  ... just have to make up my mind whether Mt Gambier or Warrnambool?
Mt Gambier is a nice visit

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CHEERS
DRACO :)

Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
Kawasaki Z650, Kawasaki Z1R Mk ll (mint green)
FJ1200 Yamaha 1995, Kawasaki Z1100
Kawasaki Z1000, FJ1200 Yamaha 1995
FJ1200 Yamaha 1992, FJR1300 Yamaha 2004
ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


My next ride:2015 ST1300P
White Phoenix
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #445 on: April 15, 2016, 08:03:19 AM »
Thats what I was thinking... nice ride to the lakes, coffee in town, and come home via Port Macdonnel and Nelson
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #446 on: April 15, 2016, 09:16:14 AM »
Building the post count quickly today, Kev- the "Saga of the Insomniac".
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #447 on: April 15, 2016, 12:35:55 PM »
Yep, Biggles... been an interesting night/day, and a trip as well, 255k  .. was a brisk start to the day, around 11 degrees when I left for Mount Gambier...left home 8.11 am, took the A1 through Heywood to the Mount to avoid the early morning grasshoppers, and arrived at 9.20 am. Had a cruise around local shops there, not looking for anything in particular, and hot coffee in the main shopping centre about 9.35. Temp now 20 degrees... beeyootiful!
Went for a lap around the Blue Lake at 10.00, and set sail for Port Macdonnell, then Nelson on the return trip home.

Just arriving on western outskirts of Portland when I discovered I was riding a V3.. eased off and puttered in to the Bike shop for some new spark plugs. On looking at my service record, the plugs were only changed at 141,000 odometer reading. Tim quipped that they musta only just been out of warranty last week, as the odometer now reads 172,685 km. I don't know how I missed changing them at last service? ... blame senility again. Only took me a few minutes to change 4 plugs, and home again at 12.28 pm
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #448 on: April 15, 2016, 07:02:00 PM »
Cat rules on my kitchen cabinet... click image to enlarge

« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 07:06:04 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #449 on: April 15, 2016, 07:04:38 PM »
ummm...  d'ya think the ticket sales might be a tad early?

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