Ways to Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate
1. Stick your open palm under the stall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a marker pen?"
2. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble into the bowl and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Damn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds, drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place, then sigh loudly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks
10. Fill up a large water bottle. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting, more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall.
.... Then say, "Whoops. Could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"
14. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
