Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927268 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #500 on: April 20, 2016, 11:49:17 PM »
Kitchen trap...

10.38 pm

I opened the fridge to get a glass of milk.

Saw a pack of custard.

Decided to have some frozen berries with the custard.

I opened the freezer to get the berries.

Hm... bag of dim sims.. haveta have some chips with those...

... might as well have some icecream while the freezer is open.



So, what started out as a ‘glass of milk’ now means that the deep fryer is bubbling with fresh cut chippies and 2 dim sims.
The frypan is sizzling with bacon, and the scrambled egg has just went ‘ding’ in the microwave.
The toaster just spat out two slices, which will have scrambles and bacon with a slab of grilled cheese shortly.
I have a bowl loaded with a mixture of chopped up banana, berries, icecream, custard and yoghurt, and a big tall glass
of iced coffee loaded with icecream.

Beware of late night thirsty trips to the fridge, its a conspiracy, I tell ya!

I only wanted a glass of milk?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #501 on: April 21, 2016, 02:01:24 AM »
The question now is... Can I trust myself to get a glass of milk at 2 am?

..or will it fall through into a full on meal again?

(OOH look !!!... chicken drummies!!..........)
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #502 on: April 21, 2016, 08:36:28 AM »
Do you Instagram and Facebook these life dramas as well?
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #503 on: April 21, 2016, 09:35:51 AM »
I do not have or use any of those.  Maybe I will just shut up.
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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #504 on: April 21, 2016, 10:40:48 AM »
I do not have or use any of those.  Maybe I will just shut up.
Biggles is just concerned you will crack 10,000 posts before him. :nahnah
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #505 on: April 21, 2016, 11:03:48 AM »
One should never take life so seriously... nobody gets out alive in the end.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #506 on: April 21, 2016, 02:29:51 PM »
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a doG.
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Offline Jdbiker

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #507 on: April 21, 2016, 07:43:14 PM »
Now we know why you don't eat during the day... :wink1
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #508 on: April 21, 2016, 11:50:26 PM »
5 seconds to live ...... and counting ...

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #509 on: April 21, 2016, 11:56:33 PM »
Maybe the Kiwis could build our new fleet of Submarines?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #510 on: April 22, 2016, 12:24:08 AM »
If we asked them nicely, they could probably fill them with seamen sailors as well.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #511 on: April 22, 2016, 01:49:57 AM »
Umm.. NO! Malcolm, you cannot crew them with Malays, I don't care how much cheaper it is!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #512 on: April 22, 2016, 12:20:17 PM »
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #513 on: April 22, 2016, 04:16:28 PM »
A political celebrity was visiting a mental asylum, where the inmates were calling "Tell us a joke!...tell us a joke!"
He was confused by this, until staff explained that this was the way that the inmates amused themselves, by telling jokes.
However, there are only a limited number of jokes, and all inmates had heard them, so each joke had been assigned a number, for brevity.

The politician turned to the crowd and said..."87?"

 The crowd burst into laughter.

 Gaining confidence, the politician called "205!"

Inmates were rolling on the ground.

He turned to the nursing staff and said "Well, they certainly liked those jokes?"

Staffer replied "Yep!... they hadn't heard those ones before!"

« Last Edit: April 22, 2016, 04:23:30 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline ppopeye

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #514 on: April 22, 2016, 05:26:22 PM »
Hi, how are you?

Sorry, it took me so long to reply your message but I am not often on meetic. I have cancelled my profile. But anyway thanks for your email address, it's very convenient for me.

I attach my pics to this mail, if you need more, I will send more. But please, don't ask for nude or lingerie pics. I don't do them. I am sure, you like my pics because I am pretty cute. As for the character, I am very friendly. I am looking for friendship and I will be very glad to meet you in person in any Australian city. I like travelling.

I need to go to work now but I promise to write you more next time.

What is your name? You didn't sign you message :) In what city to you live? Will you send me your pics?

I will be waiting for your reply!

Sincerely,

This is my latest friendly email. To be ignored


Sent from my iPhone
ppopeye

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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #515 on: April 22, 2016, 05:51:34 PM »
This is my latest friendly email. To be ignored


Aw, go on!  She needs a friend (who can send money...)
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #516 on: April 22, 2016, 07:12:25 PM »
Been awhile since I last got one of those, ppopeye .... I guess my trash filters must be working.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #517 on: April 23, 2016, 04:26:47 AM »
Confirmed!

North Korean leader has the clap!


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #518 on: April 23, 2016, 03:04:39 PM »
See? ... All Korea rove me.... when I crap, EVERYBODY crap!   :grin


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #519 on: April 23, 2016, 08:41:37 PM »
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #520 on: April 24, 2016, 01:34:58 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #521 on: April 24, 2016, 05:57:39 PM »
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #522 on: April 24, 2016, 05:58:37 PM »
STORIES FROM THE MIDLANDS OF ENGLAND

Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tonnes of heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.

Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said:

"We're all shocked; we never knew we had a library."
______________

19 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.

It was not a terrorist attack; a bunk bed collapsed.

Police are attributing the blame to Al' IKEA.
______________

Also up north, a man decided to wash his sports shirt. He opened the washing machine then stopped, thinking for a minute.

He shouted to his missus,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Manchester United.”
______________

My small grandson got lost in the new Liverpool One shopping centre. He approached a security guard and said, "I've lost my Granddad."

The guard asked, "What's his name?"

The child replied, "Granddad."

The guard smiled asked: "But what's he like?"

The little angel thought for a moment and then replied, "Cans of lager and women with big tits."
Terry, Canberra 0412499625
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #523 on: April 24, 2016, 06:07:26 PM »
 :p :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #524 on: April 24, 2016, 09:39:05 PM »


 no comment...
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 09:43:48 PM by Kev Murphy »
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