Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3022317 times)

Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #650 on: May 10, 2016, 10:21:05 AM »
You have to travel ALL that way for a speeding ticket??

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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #651 on: May 10, 2016, 10:21:30 AM »
OR you will be contesting it?

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #652 on: May 10, 2016, 11:18:20 AM »
:dred11
I'm packing an overnight bag for my future trip to SA  and court... juST in case... ;)

Best of luck with the court case  :thumb
You wouldn't be going that far if you didn't think you had half a chance  :thumbsup
Go get em Johnny :grin
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #653 on: May 10, 2016, 11:20:56 AM »
YEA go for it mate

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Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #654 on: May 10, 2016, 04:37:14 PM »
Currently blowing a gale outside.

Neighbours chook has laid the same egg twice ...


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Offline NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #655 on: May 10, 2016, 06:05:19 PM »
If it's blowing a gale you'd better go out and catch her before she blows away. :dred11 :dred11
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #656 on: May 11, 2016, 04:18:04 AM »
4am   

Wind eased a couple hours back, but there is still an occasional flurry. Roads are still wet.

Strange weather.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #657 on: May 11, 2016, 05:46:18 AM »
Officials of the World Surfing Championship are still trying to contact the winner of the 2004 Indonesian Ripcurl title,
who was last seen riding a wardrobe door on the crest of a tsunami.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2016, 09:41:59 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #658 on: May 11, 2016, 09:40:27 AM »
Not everyone will be aware of this, so I will post it anyway...


Why 4 FEET 8.5 Inches is Very Important

Fascinating Stuff . . .


Railroad Tracks
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England,
and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

 Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

In other words, bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder,
'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right.

Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad,
you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.


So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

Now you know, Horses' Asses control almost everything.

Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn't it?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #659 on: May 12, 2016, 12:27:48 PM »
Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a cheque
When he’s called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

The teller replied, "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Bill Shorten said, "Truthfully, I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I’m the leader of the Labour Party of Australia."

The teller said, "Yes sir, I know who you are... but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors, forgers, and requirements of the legislation etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Shorten said, “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they’ll tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

The teller said, "I’m sorry, Mr Shorten, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them"

Getting a bit agitated, Shorten snapped, “C'mon woman, I’m urging you, please, to cash this cheque.."

The teller said, "Look Mr Shorten, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods, he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, Mr Shorten, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"

Bill Shorten stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank... there’s nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do... and I don't have a clue."

With a big smile, the teller said, "Will that be large or small notes, Mr Shorten?
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #660 on: May 12, 2016, 12:29:39 PM »
Hahahaha so true

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #661 on: May 12, 2016, 10:11:55 PM »


REDNECK DICTIONARY

AST: To interrogate or enquire
BAHS: A supervisor
BARD: Past tense of the infinative "To borrow"
BLEEVE: Expression of intent or faith
Cyst: To render aid
DID: No longer alive
EVERWHICHAWAYS: Scattered in all directions
FARNWAY: Not local
IGNUNT:Not smart
JEW: Did you
MUCHABLIGE: Thank you
MUNTS: A calendar division
OVAIR: In that direction
PHRAISIN: Very cold
RETCH: To grasp for
SHOVELAY: Vehicle built by GM
TAR: Rubber wheel
WARSH: To clean
WHUP: To beat the crap out of
ZAT: Question "What is that?"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #662 on: May 12, 2016, 10:43:55 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #663 on: May 13, 2016, 02:35:14 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #664 on: May 13, 2016, 06:43:16 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #665 on: May 13, 2016, 07:17:25 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #666 on: May 13, 2016, 08:47:40 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #667 on: May 13, 2016, 08:50:22 AM »
I guess all those virgins are of no use to him?

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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #668 on: May 13, 2016, 08:52:26 AM »
Love it lol

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #669 on: May 13, 2016, 09:50:42 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #670 on: May 13, 2016, 10:30:05 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #671 on: May 13, 2016, 10:49:20 AM »
He was told that he would catch more fish in a boat, instead of fishing from the beach......


« Last Edit: May 13, 2016, 10:53:14 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #672 on: May 13, 2016, 02:50:39 PM »
Stupid French backpacker tourist question....

"I will be visiting Australia for three weeks later this year. Is it possible to hike from Sydney to Perth?"

Aussie Tourism reply..

Yeah, sure it's possible! ...  Allowing for a brisk stroll of around 5 KPH walking speed for 12 hours per day,
you should reach Perth in about two and half months.

Make sure you carry plenty of water.....
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #673 on: May 13, 2016, 08:41:39 PM »
Fail, scammer, fail!


8.15 pm..... Just got an email from a mate holidaying in Singapore, who got rolled and had his wallet stolen.... needs cash in a hurry, supplied PayPal account.
 
Trouble is, he is sitting right here in my lounge having a cup of coffee when the email arrived.
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #674 on: May 13, 2016, 08:48:00 PM »
WOW that's great you don't have to send just give lol

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Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
Kawasaki Z650, Kawasaki Z1R Mk ll (mint green)
FJ1200 Yamaha 1995, Kawasaki Z1100
Kawasaki Z1000, FJ1200 Yamaha 1995
FJ1200 Yamaha 1992, FJR1300 Yamaha 2004
ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


My next ride:2015 ST1300P
White Phoenix
 
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