Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3022654 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #925 on: June 19, 2016, 11:43:25 PM »
10 Facts About You:

1. You're reading this now.
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.
5. You're checking now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #926 on: June 20, 2016, 08:47:32 PM »
I think I have finally stopped my spam mail.

 :thumbsup

I finally closed my old dodgy Yahoo mail account as it has been active since 1997, and the last credible email was posted to it more than 18 months ago.

Awww....... I will miss all those lotto winnings, business opportunities and job offers, etc....

NOT!
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Offline alans1100

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #927 on: June 20, 2016, 10:46:11 PM »


Awww....... I will miss all those lotto winnings, business opportunities and job offers, etc....

NOT!
not to forget all the long lost girls that want to get back in touch but you never met them in the first place -

I still use Yahoo email though

1999 :bl11  2004 :13Candy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #928 on: June 20, 2016, 11:21:42 PM »
I won't miss all the "Wanna F***" emails from my horny "female neighbors" that have plagued me for the past months.
Was beyond a joke, with up to 30 per week gracing my inbox.
I actually ran out of ban filters, with more than 200 addys blocked.
Easiest way was to close the Yahoo.com account, which I have had since Yahoo mail inception 19 years ago.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #929 on: June 21, 2016, 06:29:07 AM »
Where did the suicidal radical go after he exploded his bomb vest?






... Everywhere...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #930 on: June 21, 2016, 06:32:28 AM »
Which was the 'more important' invention, after the first telephone?



... the SECOND one....

(Hey!... at least THEY never got a wrong number ... or an 'engaged' signal? ... OR telemarketing calls..
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #931 on: June 21, 2016, 06:59:32 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #932 on: June 21, 2016, 07:02:31 AM »
Yup!... it's a new start!

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #933 on: June 21, 2016, 07:04:51 AM »
Inconsiderate Cager. Now considerably inconvenienced....



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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #934 on: June 21, 2016, 07:06:38 AM »
OR anus tart?

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DRACO :)

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #935 on: June 21, 2016, 07:15:25 AM »
 :grin
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Offline Damien ball

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #936 on: June 21, 2016, 09:18:35 AM »
That number plate 😂 they didnt think that through

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Offline Piet

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #937 on: June 21, 2016, 09:44:59 AM »
When they are so obviously unconcerned about bikes I would be worried they simply would reverse out.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #938 on: June 21, 2016, 12:25:00 PM »
Two neighbourhood women were chatting.
The daughter of one seemed very nervous, hiding behind her mother.
The other woman prompted "What's the matter, dear?"

The girl shyly peeked from behind her mother, and said
"Well,  you don't REALLY look like a witch to me, and you only have ONE face?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #939 on: June 21, 2016, 11:34:01 PM »
Did you know that there is a law which prohibits lawyers and their clients from having sex? :law

It's to prevent clients from being billed twice, for essentially the same service.  :grin  :spank
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #940 on: June 21, 2016, 11:44:44 PM »

After 35 years, mailman George decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds.

When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they present him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house hand him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the next house, he is met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She takes him by the hand and leads him up to the bedroom, where she blows his mind with the most passionate sex he has ever experienced.

When done, they go downstairs, where she fixes him a giant breakfast.

As she pours him a cup of coffee, he notices a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this is just too wonderful for words," he says, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she says, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that I wanted to do something special for you.

I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' .. But breakfast was my idea."

 :crackup
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Offline Draco (Heartbreak Kid)

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #941 on: June 22, 2016, 06:30:06 AM »
Hahahaha

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CHEERS
DRACO :)

Honda MT250 Elsinore, Honda 750 four F1
Kawasaki Z650, Kawasaki Z1R Mk ll (mint green)
FJ1200 Yamaha 1995, Kawasaki Z1100
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ST1300 Honda 2004, FJ1200 Yamaha 1990


My next ride:2015 ST1300P
White Phoenix
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #942 on: June 22, 2016, 01:02:50 PM »
Corny....

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #943 on: June 22, 2016, 01:05:27 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #944 on: June 22, 2016, 05:27:32 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #945 on: June 22, 2016, 09:53:02 PM »
Did you know... that when my cats have a birthday, I don't tell them?

Mainly because they wouldn't understand what I am saying, anyway... :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #946 on: June 22, 2016, 10:04:41 PM »
One of the local druggies just strode past my home, screaming abuse at the rain which is currently falling...

I think he is higher than Pezzz at the moment...  :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #947 on: June 22, 2016, 10:25:44 PM »
KittyPuss wandered up to me tonight.

She said “Meow meow meowmeow.”

I said the same back to her, but she cracked the irrots because I mimicked her, and she hooked me!

Sorry, I don’t get it? ... Was I supposed to laugh at her? ... agree with her? ... or was she just looking for an argument.

I wonder if there is a school where I can learn to understand and speak Cattonese? :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #948 on: June 22, 2016, 10:32:49 PM »
Pilot of a 747 was advised by air traffic control "Flight G149.. be advised that there is a Fokker Friendship in your vicinity to your port"

The 747 pilot replied "I have waited all my life to say this..... I have the little Focker in my sight!"
« Last Edit: June 22, 2016, 10:53:45 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #949 on: June 22, 2016, 10:39:05 PM »
Don't worry Kev I have the same problem with my dogs only they paw the daylights out of me if I bark back at them. Maybe we could start a school for cattonese and doggonese we could be the teachers and students at the same time. :dred11 :dred11 :dred11
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