Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3056292 times)

Draco (Heartbreak Kid) · « **Reply #1075 on:** July 16, 2016, 08:58:22 AM »

Sounds about right. Needs a car to reverse out of a driveway and not see him ;)

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Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1076 on:** July 17, 2016, 06:39:42 PM »

According to channel nine news tonight, there are 21 million people worldwide hunting pokemons

What a complete waste of time! ... Get a life, morons!

Brock · « **Reply #1077 on:** July 17, 2016, 06:55:02 PM »

Yesterday when taking of my Sat afternoon coffee with the joondalup Ulysses, saw groups of kids wandering around with their heads down looking at the phones. I guessed they were chasing cartoon creatures that werent there.. At least they were outside getting fresh air.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1078 on:** July 17, 2016, 07:32:14 PM »

So, I rear ended this guy at the lights. He jumped out of the car, and he is only 4 foot tall!

He said “I’m NOT happy!”

I said “OK, OK, ... let me guess.... ahhhh... Grumpy?”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1079 on:** July 18, 2016, 12:27:50 AM »

A blonde was selling her pet Python on eBay.

A bloke rang up and asked "How big is it?"

She said: "It's massive."

He said: “How many feet?"

She said: "Feet? - NONE! - it's a bloody SNAKE!!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1080 on:** July 18, 2016, 12:39:17 AM »

A bloke made a cutting remark to his wife, regarding her weight gain.

She stewed on it all night.

The next morning, she whacked him with the frying pan.

Just proves the old adage... 'Time wounds all Heels'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1081 on:** July 18, 2016, 09:10:16 PM »

A fellow said to a Theatrical Agent.. "I would like for you to represent me, and find me employment!"

"Uhuh?.... and... just exactly what is it that you do?" asked the Agent

"Bird impressions!"

"Sorry pal, I can't help you... that sort of thing went out of fashion a hundred years ago!"

So the bloke unfurled his wings, and quietly flew out the window....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1082 on:** July 19, 2016, 01:57:26 AM »

"Make me one, with everything..."

... Said the Buddhist to the hot dog vendor...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1083 on:** July 19, 2016, 02:58:16 AM »

My Buddhist friend was meditating.

I called “Tea or fruit juice?”

“Ommm.... Ommmmmmmmm!”

I replied “Make up your mind?”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1084 on:** July 19, 2016, 05:54:48 PM »

A turtle reported a home break in and theft at the Police station.
"They cleared out with my furniture, even drank all my beer from the fridge!"
"What time did this happen?" Asked the cop
"Saturday afternoon, 3 weeks ago" replied the turtle
"3 weeks ago?... why didn't you report it sooner?"
The turtle rolled his eyes, and said "Dammit, man!... I got here as fast as I could!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1085 on:** July 19, 2016, 09:45:13 PM »

Interesting to note that the PM is paid at a rate of almost $1400 per day, 365 days per year (plus perks) ... and then close to $800 per day for the rest of his life when he is retired/replaced/thrown out .. but an aged pensioner who actually worked for the whole of his life, (not just sixty or seventy days per year) is only worth around $800 per fortnight...

Draco (Heartbreak Kid) · « **Reply #1086 on:** July 19, 2016, 09:46:45 PM »

AND WE JUST KEEP VOTING THESE OXYGEN WASTERS IN . DON'T WE??

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Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1087 on:** July 19, 2016, 09:49:12 PM »

Not me... what this country needs to do is refuse to vote, until WE THE PEOPLE are offered a better deal.

Draco (Heartbreak Kid) · « **Reply #1088 on:** July 19, 2016, 09:51:02 PM »

I voted for Donald Trump ;)

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Brock · « **Reply #1089 on:** July 19, 2016, 10:01:15 PM »

Quote

I voted for Donald Trump ;)

My son tells me he did as well

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1090 on:** July 19, 2016, 10:11:13 PM »

One of my friends confided in me that he voted for his neighbours pet chook

NTRebel · « **Reply #1091 on:** July 19, 2016, 11:02:05 PM »

I voted for Bugs Bunny cos he knows what he's doing.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1092 on:** July 21, 2016, 03:36:18 PM »

Washing machine gone on strike...

“ENOUGH ALREADY!” it cried...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1093 on:** July 21, 2016, 07:32:48 PM »

Was a plumber here earlier today, clearing gutters and down pipes. I guess this is a test run.
Hailing hard for past 5 minutes... hail about the size of peas... Cannot hear TV ...


http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y352/kjm47/DSCF2535_zps5cerkt6w.mp4

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1094 on:** July 21, 2016, 10:23:17 PM »

Was a short sharp burst of bad weather... 30 minutes at the most.
Looking outside now, there is absolutely no sign whatsoever now of the earlier hail, rain and wind.

~ Which is good, as I want to ride to the bank and get some funds, then go to the servo at around midnight.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1095 on:** July 21, 2016, 11:45:44 PM »

Sounds interesting outside... now we have rolling thunder (Two cats just bolted into the bedroom to hide under the blankets), and light sprinkles of rain again. Might need the wet gear to visit the bank.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1096 on:** July 22, 2016, 02:16:38 AM »

Had to wait until 2 am for the rain to ease... job done, and I now have milk in the fridge for coffee again

Saw a car smashed up on the footpath at a roundabout two blocks from here....was being winched onto a recovery vehicle.... may have been the one I heard revving and spinning the wheels in the wet an hour or so ago.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1097 on:** July 22, 2016, 03:05:09 AM »

What do you call the Liberal and Labor parties in an active volcano?

A damn good start.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1098 on:** July 22, 2016, 06:47:38 PM »

A couple of minor showers today... Thunderstorm now approaching .. both cats have vanished under the bed again.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1099 on:** July 22, 2016, 10:36:19 PM »

2 mm of rain today between 9am and 6pm... however, another 8mm from 7pm to 9pm. Currently, just gusty buffeting winds of around 40/45 kph and frequent light passing showers.
Indoors weather.. even the cats don't want to go outside. I agree with them.

Time to resort to my jokes folder to help pass the time

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3056292 times)