Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2926899 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1350 on: August 17, 2016, 11:47:29 PM »
My dogs have a really bad habit of chasing after people on a motorbike?


I regret the day I taught them how to ride.   :grin


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Offline Flip

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1351 on: August 18, 2016, 01:27:00 AM »

MAGIC !    Where was that ???     :clap

We have this sort of thing as the usual bike riding dog here but only on small capacity putt-putt bikes - it's quite common actually   :thumbsup


Flip


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Offline ppopeye

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1352 on: August 18, 2016, 07:33:05 AM »

Whatever happens in the US Presidential election wash-up there's bound to be a plethora of Trump jokes... Like this:


***
 
Presidential candidate Donald Trump goes on a  fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.  The undertaker tells the State  Department officials accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped  home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just  $100.'
 
The Americans go into a corner and discuss for a few minutes. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home.
 
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, and you would spend only $100?
 
The Americans reply, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take that risk.'
ppopeye

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1353 on: August 18, 2016, 10:28:00 AM »
 :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1354 on: August 18, 2016, 10:29:20 AM »
Expensive lesson.
ALWAYS check that lid is secured on your topbox.
I was sitting on an upstairs balcony at a coffee shop this morning.
Witnessed a motor scooter rider nudge a speed bump, and he left a pretty impressive and expensive selection
of sockets, spanners, screwdrivers, pliers etc scattered across the road.

Rider was unaware of his loss.
2 Kids on pushbikes scooped up the tools.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1355 on: August 18, 2016, 05:45:39 PM »
After watching yet another youtube ‘People of Walmart’ episode,
I must offer congratulations to the Walmart company for providing
a specialised store for mentally retarded persons to shop in ....
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1356 on: August 18, 2016, 05:47:58 PM »
Time traveler?

The last time I went to Mt Gambier, I filled with petrol at Nelson, and then
according to the time on my phone, found myself over the border before
I had refueled? I was tempted to return to Nelson, to meet myself on the
way to Mt Gambier... or would I have met myself returning from there?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1357 on: August 18, 2016, 05:50:14 PM »
Bill Shortun was informed that 2 Brazilian tourists died in the floods last week.
 
He said “That’s a real shame...  ummmm....  how many is a brazillion, anyway?”
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1358 on: August 18, 2016, 06:00:01 PM »
Two rednecks were sitting on their porch one afternoon and looked down at their dog, who was licking his ????.

One looked at the other and said, ''Boy howdy, Billy-bob! ... I wish that I could do that.''

The other replied, 'Don't be stupid, Leroy! – the bastard would bite you!''
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1359 on: August 18, 2016, 09:07:13 PM »
Two rednecks were sitting on their porch one afternoon and looked down at their dog, who was licking his ????.

One looked at the other and said, ''Boy howdy, Billy-bob! ... I wish that I could do that.''

The other replied, 'Don't be stupid, Leroy! – the bastard would bite you!''


The original on "Some Mothers Do Have Them" was
"If you give him a biscuit, he'll let you!"
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1360 on: August 18, 2016, 09:36:21 PM »
 :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1361 on: August 18, 2016, 09:58:45 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1362 on: August 19, 2016, 08:24:38 AM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1363 on: August 19, 2016, 06:42:12 PM »
ust had a call from some one ( with Indian accent) supposedly from tax office and my "Audited return" Message sounded recorded.

I terminated the call before they got through all of their speil.

 Its another scam, the police wont be coming to my door..

Unless its the Daughters Partner, and he had better have beer under his arm.  :beer
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1364 on: August 19, 2016, 06:50:16 PM »
Picture this... biblical times.... David facing up to Goliath....

Honest Abes' sports betting agency was offering 500/1 odds against David, when there was a crash of thunder, a flash of lightning,
and a shower of coins rained on Abe, followed by a booming voice from the heavens... "200 Shekels on the little'un!"
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1365 on: August 19, 2016, 09:42:13 PM »
Some clever graffiti here, or am I as warped as the offenders? :grin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox5CKhITQB0
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1366 on: August 19, 2016, 10:18:35 PM »
Wanna buy a happy ciggy lighter?

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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1367 on: August 19, 2016, 10:47:07 PM »
Some clever graffiti here, or am I as warped as the offenders? :grin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox5CKhITQB0

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1368 on: August 20, 2016, 12:08:24 PM »
Chilly outside today, 6 degrees at midday. Had 15 mm of rain yesterday and a drizzly .5mm since 9 am this morning

So much for having a pleasant ride today, heated grips or not.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1369 on: August 20, 2016, 01:49:28 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1370 on: August 20, 2016, 01:54:01 PM »
Was chatting to the guy from next door who was mowing his lawn.

He reckons the Oxfords are pretty tempting to fit to his lawn mower for these cold chilly days  :rofl  :crackup
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1371 on: August 20, 2016, 03:24:56 PM »
Lol.

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1372 on: August 20, 2016, 05:36:48 PM »
Looks as tho it will only rain twice here for the week.

first time was from Monday to Thursday, and second time from Friday to Sunday. 34 mm since Monday.

We have now had a further 4 mm of rain since 9am this morning, the sort of stuff that Farmers love .... long, soaking showers.

Unfortunately, I am not a Farmer.

I WAS going to grow my own food, once, ... but damned if I can find any bacon seeds?

Even the nurseries here don't sell any chicken sprouts or cuttings?
« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 05:48:44 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1373 on: August 20, 2016, 05:54:36 PM »
Hey Kev you might not be a farmer but aren't you a duck and unless I'm mistaken ducks love water don't they. :Stirpot :Stirpot :Stirpot
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1374 on: August 20, 2016, 06:17:42 PM »
QUACK! QUACK! Paul  :rofl

   (Think about it!)  :grin

(may refer to: Asinus, a subgenus of Equus that includes the donkey)
« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 07:04:52 PM by Kev Murphy »
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