Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2925147 times)

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12375 on: May 24, 2019, 05:57:49 AM »
Left Fwd Pocket ... no longer just an AFL position on the field.

The term has now oficially been adopted by Cricket Australia.

(It's where you hide your sandpaper.)
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12376 on: May 24, 2019, 06:16:32 AM »
ScoMo vs Albo arguing Tax-o is starting to smell-o
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12377 on: May 24, 2019, 06:17:39 AM »
Which one can sing?

 Not my ex, for sure!  :rofl
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12378 on: May 24, 2019, 10:07:42 AM »
My ex claimed I had no sense of direction.

So I packed my gear, and right.

 Wot thuh
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12379 on: May 24, 2019, 10:32:59 AM »
The most effective way to teach your kids about taxes, is by eating 30% of their icecream.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12380 on: May 24, 2019, 10:37:38 AM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12381 on: May 24, 2019, 11:15:35 AM »
Todays stupid email.

From Ebay ... offering me frequent flyer points for joining their rewards program? - Whoopee freaking doo.

1. I have no credit card.
2. I have NEVER bought a single item online whatsoever.
3. I have NEVER even BROWSED Ebay.
4. Frequent Flyer points are completely and totally useless to me, as the last time I flew a commercial flight was in 1976.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12382 on: May 24, 2019, 11:19:37 AM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12383 on: May 24, 2019, 11:22:22 AM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12384 on: May 24, 2019, 12:02:30 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12385 on: May 24, 2019, 12:07:45 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12386 on: May 24, 2019, 01:58:03 PM »
I would imagine that the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is... very... clean?

I mean, who knows how long that bottle has been soaking in cleaning fluid?

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12387 on: May 24, 2019, 01:59:28 PM »
Here's a thought for all sweat shop owners:

Air Conditioning.

Problem solved.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12388 on: May 24, 2019, 02:41:37 PM »
A sickly patient went to his doctor's office where he underwent a complete physical exam.
The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have twelve months to live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Marry an arrogant, aggressive, selfish bitch."
"How will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.
"It won't," said the doctor, "but it will sure SEEM that way."

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12389 on: May 24, 2019, 04:49:45 PM »
A shark went into McDonalds, and ordered a quarter flounder ......
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12390 on: May 24, 2019, 04:55:59 PM »
One day two brothers, Jack & John decide to go out diving for seafood.
They quickly manage to fill up a sack of seafood so Jack decides to take it back to shore & grab another sack to fill.
John is out at sea all by himself when he see's a shark coming towards him.
Frantically he calls out to his brothr Jack who is still at shore, "Bro, Help me! Help me! ...  there is a shark heading straight for me!"
Jack calls back "Im coming bro!"
The shark swims right up to John & bites off both his arms and legs.
His brother finally arrives to save him. "Come on bro, get on my back & I will swim you back to shore."
When they get to the shoreline Jack says with an exhausted sigh "I feel totally screwed!"
John replies "Well, I had to hold on somehow!"

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12391 on: May 24, 2019, 09:37:25 PM »
Democracy is the eagle on the back of a U.S. dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head

-- this signifies that when the white man came to the U.S., it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12392 on: May 24, 2019, 09:41:09 PM »
Whats the difference between a clock and a crock?

Big Ben, and a politicians campaign promises.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12393 on: May 25, 2019, 02:24:02 AM »
Anthony Albanese is now the sole candidate for leadership of the Labor Party.

And we all know what kind of 'sole' that means..,
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12394 on: May 25, 2019, 08:36:50 AM »
A recent meteorite was reported as being the size of a walnut... and then as the size of a small car.

I don't think it would make much difference to me if I were hit by either of them, as it was travelling at 35,000 Km/hour.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12395 on: May 25, 2019, 10:04:57 AM »
A guy was convinced that he was a mushroom, because his friends described him as a fun guy.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online NTRebel

  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1231
  • Thanked: 897 times
  • red centre red bike
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12396 on: May 25, 2019, 11:30:06 AM »
You sure it wasn't because he was kept in the dark and fed bulls--t.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12397 on: May 25, 2019, 02:07:26 PM »
Got 19 seconds to spare?

https://youtu.be/4kPWBA_8iP8

 :grin

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94866
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12398 on: May 25, 2019, 06:39:56 PM »
When he says "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD!"

-What he really means:  I can't hear the game over the bloody vacuum cleaner!

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Bodø

  • Guest
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12399 on: May 25, 2019, 08:58:36 PM »
Well that sucks.
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy