Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3048891 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17050 on: March 10, 2020, 04:33:12 PM »
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17051 on: March 10, 2020, 07:30:48 PM »
So does a parcel of land.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17052 on: March 10, 2020, 07:46:33 PM »
According to the United Nations, the population of India will be higher than the population of China in less than 10 years.

Maybe we should send the corona virus to India, there are already too many scammers, cab drivers and telemarketers from there.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17054 on: March 10, 2020, 11:38:30 PM »
The difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED.
Some people say there’s no difference but there is.

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE!

When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED!

And if you marry a woman who likes shopping, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17055 on: March 10, 2020, 11:41:14 PM »
Hmmm.. just a coincidence? ... (Read 376376 times)
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17056 on: March 11, 2020, 01:37:21 AM »
Why does Maccas stuff so many napkins in your takeaway bag?


They know you'll run out of toilet paper.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17057 on: March 11, 2020, 07:56:56 AM »
A man took a woman out for dinner, but she didn't speak a word of English.
They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling.
After the meal was over, the woman drew a picture of a bed on a napkin and gave him a sly wink.

He still can't figure out how she knew that he was in the furniture business?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17058 on: March 11, 2020, 07:59:39 AM »
Older lady admonishes young lady for smoking.

Old lady: "I would rather commit adultery, than smoke in public!"

Young lady: "Hell yeah, me too!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17059 on: March 11, 2020, 08:10:32 AM »
LOST DOG - 3 legged - blind in one eye - missing left ear - broken tail - recently castrated


Answers to "LUCKY"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17060 on: March 11, 2020, 08:15:32 AM »
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note on the pillow, saying,
"I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me"
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
 She could see him walk towards the bed and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about time, I'm coming to see you, put on that …… French nightie.
I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes.
She grabbed the note to see what he wrote.
"I can see your feet. We're outta bread; be back in five minutes."
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17061 on: March 11, 2020, 05:51:54 PM »
Watching the news and they say to work from home to help containt the coronavirus.  How the hell do I get a bus in my living room?
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17062 on: March 11, 2020, 05:57:14 PM »
A bit hard to do Bodø, but a guy in Melbourne managed to get his car into his neighbours bedroom last week?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17063 on: March 11, 2020, 08:51:57 PM »
Guess who I bumped into while on the way to the optician today?



Everybody!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17064 on: March 11, 2020, 09:25:22 PM »
I said to my friend Maureen: "Look me in the eyes. All of my life I have wanted a strong willed, good looking, confident, large breasted woman in my life, 

... and you are the one who can help me find someone like that.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17065 on: March 11, 2020, 09:28:47 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17066 on: March 11, 2020, 10:51:16 PM »
My wife asked, "Does these pants make me look fat?"

I replied, "No, but apparently this shirt makes me look stupid"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17067 on: March 12, 2020, 03:55:19 AM »
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching

to reverse and leaving the scene
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17068 on: March 12, 2020, 03:58:15 AM »
Ultimate karma.

Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident.

Some dick cut her off.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17069 on: March 12, 2020, 04:02:22 AM »
A teenager tells his father, “My car won't start, there’s water in the carburettor.”

The father looks confused and says, “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.”

But the son insists, “I’m telling you, there’s water in the carburettor.”

His father is starting to get a little nervous. “You don’t even know what a carburettor is” he says, “I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

“In the pool.”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17070 on: March 12, 2020, 04:06:46 AM »
My friend put his Toyota into quarantine today.

He thinks it may have Corollavirus
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17071 on: March 12, 2020, 04:10:54 AM »
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise.

He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17072 on: March 12, 2020, 04:20:18 AM »
I'm envious of Bodøs' job.

He drives an air conditioned vehicle worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, which is supplied free of charge by his company, and has a semi-private corner office with a great view, and is paid to travel frequently.....
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17073 on: March 12, 2020, 04:21:21 AM »
The down side is I have to listen to the radio.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17074 on: March 12, 2020, 04:23:01 AM »
 :rofl  Have a great day mate.  :thumb
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