Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063400 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19856 on:** August 18, 2020, 05:49:00 PM »

... especially after 5 scam calls today.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19857 on:** August 18, 2020, 08:03:39 PM »

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him.
The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc.
He was about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above: "You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news." Moses was staggered.
The voice continued: "You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."

Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"
"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

Shillas · « **Reply #19858 on:** August 18, 2020, 08:48:44 PM »

I went to the book store today and asked if they had anything on Turtles.

"Hardback?", they asked.

I said, "Yes, with little legs".

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19859 on:** August 18, 2020, 08:50:23 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19860 on:** August 18, 2020, 09:32:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19861 on:** August 18, 2020, 09:37:45 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19862 on:** August 19, 2020, 12:17:34 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19863 on:** August 19, 2020, 12:18:18 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19864 on:** August 19, 2020, 12:18:58 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19865 on:** August 19, 2020, 12:28:39 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19866 on:** August 19, 2020, 05:13:08 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19867 on:** August 19, 2020, 07:05:59 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19868 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:09:35 AM »

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee.

The only trouble was, she was coming home.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19869 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:12:43 AM »

My wife made me join her bridge club ... I jump next Tuesday.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19870 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:14:23 AM »

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired, then sits up all night and reads her book.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19871 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:15:51 AM »

My wife's not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled.

She said, "All kids smell that way".

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19872 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:23:57 AM »

A woman spoke to me about how sad it was that students had to go through this their senior year without having any trips.

I reminded her that in the 60's -70's many kids took their senior year trip to Vietnam.

This does put things in a different perspective, at least todays kids are safe at home.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19873 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:35:37 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19874 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:23:28 AM »

Todays scammer rang to help me access my Super Fund.

He got really pissed off when I told him that I withdrew it all when I retired 10 years ago, and have spent the bloody lot.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3063400 times)