Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3061157 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19878 on:** August 19, 2020, 04:18:03 PM »

Once somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was.

She said "No, but I did get the license number"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19879 on:** August 19, 2020, 04:19:00 PM »

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10.

The other 2 guys jumped clear.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19880 on:** August 19, 2020, 06:52:07 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19881 on:** August 19, 2020, 06:53:59 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19882 on:** August 19, 2020, 10:04:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19883 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:24:43 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19884 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:25:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19885 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:27:48 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19886 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:37:46 PM »

I'm so confused with all these new online apps on my phone.

I am not sure if I have ordered a fortnights worth of groceries, adopted twins, or sold my neighbour's lawnmower.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19887 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:51:01 PM »

How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over there in France.
Some French guy sitting there, like, 'How dumb do I think the World is? I bet you I could sell those idiots water.'

I for one have never, ever, bought a bottle of 'water', unless it was chilled, aerated, and flavoured with either cola or fruit juice .

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19888 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:53:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19889 on:** August 19, 2020, 11:57:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19890 on:** August 20, 2020, 05:52:25 AM »

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book?
They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.'
Oh really? What I enjoyed most about the movie: no reading.

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'?
I'm like, 'Not for me. I'm done.'