Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3062523 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11851 on:** April 13, 2019, 02:01:09 PM »

Went to the local pub the other night for the quiz night. Its a rough area.

First question was, "What the f**k are you looking at?"

Bodø · « **Reply #11852 on:** April 13, 2019, 02:43:33 PM »

That's when you say stultus

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11853 on:** April 13, 2019, 02:50:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11854 on:** April 13, 2019, 03:40:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11855 on:** April 13, 2019, 05:32:10 PM »

Studies show that 1 in 5 teens are unable to peel an orange!

It's a good job that so many of them carry knives.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11856 on:** April 13, 2019, 05:34:16 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11857 on:** April 13, 2019, 07:46:58 PM »

Koreans have recently brought out their own vegetarian version of an instant noodle snack.

It's called Not Poodle.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11858 on:** April 13, 2019, 07:54:34 PM »

I read an article in my local newspaper, "Please take care of your neighbours in the cold weather"

I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, but not once has she come round to see if I'm all right?

The lazy cow hasn't even collected her own newspaper, mail, or milk for the past two weeks!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11859 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:03:41 PM »

The reason my cat eats raw meat is because nobody ever taught her how to cook.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11860 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:09:00 PM »

There was a power outage at the shopping mall yesterday. Five blondes were trapped on the escalators.

When asked why they didn't walk down, they replied that they were going up to the next level.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11861 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:14:08 PM »

My neighbour fitted a sonic shoo roo repeller to his car ... backwards.

He is easy to spot on the highway, it's the only car pursued by a mob of roos.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11862 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:24:32 PM »

So, this cop said to me "Do you realise that you were travelling at 130 kilometres per hour?"

I replied "But I've only been in the car for ten minutes, does that count?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11863 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:29:30 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11864 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:32:43 PM »

"Umm, Mr Shorten, your policy speech is nothing more than 27 pages of the word 'NO!', over and over ???"

"Well, I kinda got into a rhythm, but at least I varied the tone!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11865 on:** April 13, 2019, 08:57:03 PM »

Biggles · « **Reply #11866 on:** April 13, 2019, 11:13:26 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on April 13, 2019, 09:39:11 AM

Also Derby in W.A. ... pronounced 'Derrby' by locals, 'Darrby' by easterners.

Blame the Poms for "Darrby"- it's what they call their horse races.

We have an Albany Creek here- "Awlbany" while theirs is "Albany" (logically enough).

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11867 on:** April 13, 2019, 11:51:28 PM »

Nothing will be done to save the Murray River until it changes its course to include Queensland and Western Sydney.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11868 on:** April 14, 2019, 12:03:24 AM »

Bill Short'uns latest nickname ....

'The Abominable No!-man'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11869 on:** April 14, 2019, 12:22:46 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11870 on:** April 14, 2019, 08:42:34 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11871 on:** April 14, 2019, 08:47:02 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11872 on:** April 14, 2019, 10:32:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11873 on:** April 14, 2019, 10:37:44 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #11874 on:** April 14, 2019, 10:49:19 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3062523 times)

Bodø