Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3064662 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40504 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:00:59 PM »

My girlfriend treats me like a god.

She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she wants something.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40505 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:11:46 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40506 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:18:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40507 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:21:20 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40508 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:27:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40509 on:** December 05, 2021, 07:45:23 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40510 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:05:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40511 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:05:39 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40512 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:05:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40513 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:09:49 PM »

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead is a miserable, pointless and lonely existence.

And while he's going through that, I'll be down at the pub every night getting drunk with my buddies.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40514 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:10:16 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40515 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:16:49 PM »

What's got six wings and can fly long distances?

Three geese.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40516 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:18:23 PM »

The existence of Bicycles implies the existence of Homocycles and Heterocycles.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40517 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:28:44 PM »

What's the difference between Daniel Andrews and a Vibrator?

Daniel Andrews is a real dick.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40518 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:41:16 PM »

Vera Lynn used to work at an Arctic research station.
She wrote a protest song about the lack of variety in the staff canteen.
Whale meat again?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40519 on:** December 05, 2021, 10:44:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40520 on:** December 05, 2021, 11:10:37 PM »

Random Fact

"A pound of houseflies contains more protein than a pound of beef."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40521 on:** December 05, 2021, 11:18:08 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40522 on:** December 05, 2021, 11:18:33 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40523 on:** December 05, 2021, 11:18:51 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #40524 on:** December 05, 2021, 11:32:53 PM »

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.

Upon the first meeting with their therapist, they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.

The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3064662 times)