Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2923271 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40050 on: November 25, 2021, 07:00:44 PM »
A man with really bad eyesight was going for a job as a pilot.
It was his dream job, so he asked a friend how he might get passed the interview, what with his terrible eyesight and all.

His friend said "stick a pin in a tree on the other side of the field from the office. When they ask you about your eyesight say that you're able to see a pin stuck in the tree and it's been distracting you during the interview."

The next week the friend asked how the interview went.

"I didn't get the job. Everything was going well until they asked about my eyesight. I had done what you said -- I stuck a pin in the tree, and mentioned in during the interview. They wanted to see this pin for themselves, so we all went across the field to see it"

"Ok, that sounds fine -- you did have the pin stuck in the tree. So what happened?"

"I tripped over a cow..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40051 on: November 25, 2021, 07:06:04 PM »
Thanks to COVID-19, this is the second year I've not been able to run the Melbourne Marathon owing to lockdown.

Every other year it's been because I'm overweight, can't run, and am too lazy to even try.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40052 on: November 25, 2021, 07:26:25 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40053 on: November 25, 2021, 07:33:29 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40054 on: November 25, 2021, 07:40:58 PM »
Portland 8.40pm.  As expected for this evening, short misty showers have just started.
Less than 1 mm forecast, should be gone by 10pm.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40055 on: November 25, 2021, 07:47:04 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40056 on: November 25, 2021, 07:53:52 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40057 on: November 25, 2021, 07:55:42 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40058 on: November 25, 2021, 10:03:06 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40059 on: November 25, 2021, 10:03:40 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40060 on: November 25, 2021, 10:05:42 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40061 on: November 25, 2021, 10:07:41 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40062 on: November 25, 2021, 10:10:11 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40063 on: November 25, 2021, 10:13:00 PM »
Time for me to get some sleep, as I will be on the road early tomorrow morning.

I guess you will have to entertain yourselves for the next couple of days until I return late Saturday night.  :thumb
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40064 on: November 25, 2021, 10:32:48 PM »
Travel safe, Kev!

See you tomorrow arvo...  :hatwave


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Online Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40065 on: November 26, 2021, 06:11:35 AM »
Time for me to get some sleep, as I will be on the road early tomorrow morning.

I guess you will have to entertain yourselves for the next couple of days until I return late Saturday night.  :thumb
Safe travels Kev  :thumbs
I'm up in Townsville I flew up yesterday, we have a family wedding this afternoon so I am busy anyway
Enjoy your ride  :thumbsup
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40066 on: November 26, 2021, 07:40:04 AM »
Enjoy your time in Townsville, Leo!  :thumbs

We're heading up there for a few days early next year...


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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40067 on: November 26, 2021, 10:27:10 AM »
Enjoy your time in Townsville, Leo!  :thumbs

We're heading up there for a few days early next year...
Thanks
It's a mad house I'm just staying out of the way
Wedding 2pm this arvo
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40068 on: November 27, 2021, 09:00:52 PM »
Got home safe around half past 9pm, will do ride report later.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40069 on: November 28, 2021, 09:58:57 AM »
Mission To Mars

NASA was interviewing various professionals for a mission to Mars. The only catch being one could go and never return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to my alma mater"

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million.
"I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40070 on: November 28, 2021, 09:59:46 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40071 on: November 28, 2021, 10:02:05 AM »
I'm unsure if he is bi-saxual, or if this was consensual sax?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40072 on: November 28, 2021, 10:03:48 AM »
The week we got our puppy, I caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day.
That afternoon, my wife called to check up on me.

"I'm okay," I said. "But guess who pooped in the dining room."

My wife's response: "Who?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40073 on: November 28, 2021, 10:05:09 AM »
Overheard at the dinosaur exhibit in Disney's Animal Kingdom park: a confused blonde complaining to her friend, "How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago?
And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?"
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #40074 on: November 28, 2021, 10:54:26 AM »
For those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?

Every time I come around the corner in my car, I think it’s the police and I have a panic attack.

I have to brake hard, toss my beer out the window, hide the weed, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn the radio down, and push the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive.

It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding….



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