OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Jokes, and Only Jokes => Topic started by: Wild Rose on December 16, 2018, 09:13:22 PM

Title: God's Plan for Aging
Post by: Wild Rose on December 16, 2018, 09:13:22 PM
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that it was good.

 So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:

#9  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8  Life is sexually transmitted.

#7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


#6  Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich

#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2  In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

Title: Re: God's Plan for Aging
Post by: NTRebel on December 16, 2018, 11:00:18 PM
 :hatwave :hatwave :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: God's Plan for Aging
Post by: pault on December 23, 2018, 05:31:43 AM
i get enough exercise just pushing my luck
Title: Re: God's Plan for Aging
Post by: Bodø on December 23, 2018, 06:03:53 AM
 :thumbsup
Title: Re: God's Plan for Aging
Post by: StinkyPete on December 23, 2018, 06:07:38 AM
As we get older we spend more time sitting, so God gives us bigger built in cushions on which we sit.    :butt