Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3062955 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19777 on:** August 15, 2020, 04:00:38 PM »

Decided to take a friend for a ride. He has a stutter when excited or agitated.

Hit the open road, and sped up to 80. He started stuttering "Fa.. fa..."

"Faster?" I queried.

"Ye.. yea... Yeah, faster!" he replied.

I opened up to 110, and passed a car.

"Fa... fa... " he said again.

"Faster still?"

"Fa... fa... fark, no! .. Tha... tha... that car we passed was unmarked, and he's put the lights on!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19778 on:** August 15, 2020, 05:06:08 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19779 on:** August 15, 2020, 05:08:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19780 on:** August 15, 2020, 05:10:16 PM »

Unquestionably, there is progress every where.

The average worker now pays out as much in taxes, as he formerly received in wages.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19781 on:** August 15, 2020, 07:25:24 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19782 on:** August 15, 2020, 07:28:12 PM »

The real reason I love Easter...

I just love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19783 on:** August 15, 2020, 07:30:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19784 on:** August 15, 2020, 09:09:00 PM »

I found a computer antivirus online, and it cleaned up my computer.

But when I left the house, my parents still insisted on placing the computer in the corner of the house with the screen facing the wall, like the computer had done something wrong.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19785 on:** August 15, 2020, 09:20:29 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19786 on:** August 15, 2020, 09:39:15 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #19787 on:** August 15, 2020, 09:42:16 PM »

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone.
He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"
She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody at any time, any where, your place or my place, it doesn't matter to me."
The guy raises his eyebrows and says, " Really? What law firm do you work for?"