Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2924011 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15700 on: December 22, 2019, 04:05:08 AM »
Hmmm? ... I have way too much time on my hands ... Must be almost Christmas,  Todays creation

https://youtu.be/v4z2aC-fHi8
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15701 on: December 22, 2019, 04:14:52 AM »
I was just looking at the statistics of this thread.... it has averaged 10 hits per hour, 24/7, for just over 4 years! (including all posts and comments)

Thanks, everyone, for your support.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15702 on: December 22, 2019, 07:16:35 AM »
Watching News Broadcast on Channel 7. Several reporters have spoken about the PM visiting the 'Royal' Fire Service Headquarters.

ROYAL???? Ferchrisake, its RURAL, you uneducated warts! |-i
« Last Edit: December 22, 2019, 01:01:08 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15703 on: December 22, 2019, 07:41:02 AM »
Why does the Christmas song refer to Santas 'one horse' open sleigh? What happened to his 9 reindeer?
(although Rudolph isn't mentioned, he has his own song)
« Last Edit: December 22, 2019, 07:46:43 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15704 on: December 22, 2019, 07:43:06 AM »
Sorry, make that 10 ... I forgot about Olive, the other reindeer.  :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15705 on: December 22, 2019, 01:05:50 PM »
I had a vasectomy, which I thought would stop my girlfriend from getting pregnant.

All it did was change the skin colour of the baby
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15706 on: December 22, 2019, 01:07:29 PM »
My wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction

....................... Aaaand they're off!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15707 on: December 22, 2019, 02:39:02 PM »
Aladdin was banned from Flying Carpet Racing, has been accused of using Performance Enhancing Rugs
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15708 on: December 22, 2019, 02:41:25 PM »
There may very well be "more than one way to skin a cat" as they say... but they never really explain why you'd ever NEED more than one way?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15709 on: December 22, 2019, 02:50:57 PM »
There may very well be "more than one way to skin a cat" as they say... but they never really explain why you'd ever NEED more than one way?

A bit of variety.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15710 on: December 22, 2019, 11:31:05 PM »
American Cop pulls a man over, and the man hands him a concealed weapons carry permit....
So the cop asked the man "are you carrying today sir?"
Man says "yes sir, I have a Colt .45 on my hip and a .22 in my boot."
"Anything else?" Said the officer.
Man says "well there's a Glock in the glove box, a 12 gauge on the back seat... oh plus the M4, Springfield and Tommy gun in the trunk."
Officer responds "Are you going to or from the gun range sir?"
"Neither officer."
"Well then, what are you so afraid of?"
The man looks the officer square in the eye and says
"Not a God damned thing..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15711 on: December 23, 2019, 03:30:34 AM »
How much weight does the word of a TV evangelist carry with God ?

About 1 billigraham.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15712 on: December 23, 2019, 03:32:04 AM »
The basic unit of laryngitis is one hoarsepower.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15713 on: December 23, 2019, 03:43:17 AM »
Police Report.

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."

"10 kilograms you say?"

"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

"Dammit! ...If we had found any evidence of drugs at all, we could have put a stop to their drug dealing!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15714 on: December 23, 2019, 09:02:42 AM »
One evening after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we're married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in the garage. You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know that boat is such an ongoing expense and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment. And what's the use of that vintage hot rod sports car?"

Bob got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?”

He replied, "You are starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Bob replied, "I wasn't..."
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15715 on: December 23, 2019, 02:25:34 PM »
I was just looking at the statistics of this thread.... it has averaged 10 hits per hour, 24/7, for just over 4 years! (including all posts and comments)

Thanks, everyone, for your support.
Merry Christmas from WA Kev. Keep Kool dude.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15716 on: December 23, 2019, 03:07:14 PM »
What’s the difference between a beef burger and a vegan burger?

One is ground beef and the other is browned grief.
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15717 on: December 23, 2019, 03:08:22 PM »
One evening after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we're married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in the garage. You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know that boat is such an ongoing expense and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment. And what's the use of that vintage hot rod sports car?"

Bob got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?”

He replied, "You are starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Bob replied, "I wasn't..."

The only part I agree with is getting rid of the Hardly.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15718 on: December 23, 2019, 03:34:19 PM »
Newbie 'L' plate rider learned a few road lessons near my place today, some valuable, and some very expensive.

He came out of Woolies car park and really gave the right wrist some exercise. Mono!  When he came back to two wheels, his helmet strap was not secured and the wind caught the flipped up screen and ripped the helmet off his head. Unfortunately two policemen in an unmarked car witnessed the whole thing. Speeding, riding in a dangerous manner, without due care, unsecured helmet, etc etc... and then they defected his bike because of worn tyres. He was told he could not ride it away, and besides, his helmet was stuffed and would have to be replaced.
Cops told him to walk home, and organise a trailer to transport the bike to a motorcycle shop for replacement tyres.

Live and learn boy, live and learn.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15719 on: December 23, 2019, 05:02:11 PM »
Newbie 'L' plate rider learned a few road lessons near my place today, some valuable, and some very expensive.

He came out of Woolies car park and really gave the right wrist some exercise. Mono!  When he came back to two wheels, his helmet strap was not secured and the wind caught the flipped up screen and ripped the helmet off his head. Unfortunately two policemen in an unmarked car witnessed the whole thing. Speeding, riding in a dangerous manner, without due care, unsecured helmet, etc etc... and then they defected his bike because of worn tyres. He was told he could not ride it away, and besides, his helmet was stuffed and would have to be replaced.
Cops told him to walk home, and organise a trailer to transport the bike to a motorcycle shop for replacement tyres.

Live and learn boy, live and learn.

Merry Xmas!   :cop :rofl  :law


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15720 on: December 23, 2019, 06:23:26 PM »
That lad that had the trouble earlier has just dug himself into a bigger hole.
He turned up with a ute and trailer to pick up his bike, and was done by a passing divvy van for driving an unregistered vehicle.
Probably spent the rego money to acquire the bike?

So now, there's a car, trailer, AND the bike parked up the road.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15721 on: December 23, 2019, 06:25:41 PM »
 :rofl :fp


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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15722 on: December 23, 2019, 06:27:30 PM »
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins....

...I was about to run inside to tell the wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden in the first place.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15723 on: December 23, 2019, 06:36:35 PM »
That lad that had the trouble earlier has just dug himself into a bigger hole.
He turned up with a ute and trailer to pick up his bike, and was done by a passing divvy van for driving an unregistered vehicle.
Probably spent the rego money to acquire the bike?

So now, there's a car, trailer, AND the bike parked up the road.

This doesn't surprise me.  I've read similar stories to this on the SAPOL facebook page.  Some people really are that dense.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15724 on: December 23, 2019, 07:29:16 PM »
BMW cars don't put a dipstick in the engine anymore

They're now located in the driver seat
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