Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3063765 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16400 on: February 05, 2020, 10:09:32 AM »
I don't know why people get so upset about the death penalty?

After all, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity....
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16401 on: February 05, 2020, 10:13:50 AM »
I'm surprised that the UK left the EU by voting.

- Most of the time they leave on penalty kicks.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16402 on: February 05, 2020, 10:17:01 AM »
Golfer's Dilemma
You are playing in a golf tournament and to your astonishment, you are actually winning as you reach the 18th hole.

With a one stroke lead over your final opponent, who also happens to be playing the final hole with you, you step up to the tee and hit a perfect 300 yard shot dead centre fairway.

Your opponent then steps up and shanks it directly into the woods.
Being a person of great sportsmanship, you help him look for his ball for 10 minutes, before he finally says that he will take the penalty stroke and drop his ball.

You return to your ball, take your second shot and again it's nearly perfect.. settling 5 feet from the flag.. victory is about to be yours.

All of a sudden from the woods you hear your opponent yell "Found it!", followed by the crack of the ball.
His shot is perfect and rolls right into the hole.

Here's the dilemma, do you allow him to count the shot, or do you take his ball out of your pocket, and call the cheater out on his lie?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16403 on: February 05, 2020, 10:22:16 AM »
In many states offenders receive a harsher penalty for hitting a dog, than they do for hitting a woman.

It's outrageous that the RSPCA has higher penalties than the Court, for bitch slapping!
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Offline STeveo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16404 on: February 05, 2020, 03:40:30 PM »
p.s.
They're gaols in Australia.

 :wink1

Jail vs Gaol
Both gaol and jail are borrowed from French. The first borrowing, gaol, came with the Norman Conquest when a lot of Norman French words to do with law and politics and governance were introduced into English. ... The spelling jail is the most common spelling now in Australian English.
May 2, 2016

www.macquariedictionary.com.au › blog › article
Disagree. Type in Parramatta Jail and it comes up as Parramatta Goal.
I really don't wish to be in either of them.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16405 on: February 05, 2020, 03:56:57 PM »
I'm surprised that the UK left the EU by voting.
- Most of the time they leave on penalty kicks.

The UK doesn't compete in the Euros.  The Euros aren't an EU entity either and open to all of Europe.

Get your facts straight.  :-(((
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16406 on: February 05, 2020, 03:59:40 PM »
Disagree. Type in Parramatta Jail and it comes up as Parramatta Goal.
I really don't wish to be in either of them.

Before seeing this I did the same thing with all the gaols I know, and likewise they all came up gaol.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16407 on: February 05, 2020, 05:34:06 PM »
p.s.
They're gaols in Australia.

 :wink1

Jail vs Gaol
Both gaol and jail are borrowed from French. The first borrowing, gaol, came with the Norman Conquest when a lot of Norman French words to do with law and politics and governance were introduced into English. ... The spelling jail is the most common spelling now in Australian English.
May 2, 2016

www.macquariedictionary.com.au › blog › article
Disagree. Type in Parramatta Jail and it comes up as Parramatta Goal.
I really don't wish to be in either of them.

That's cos' it was built in the 1800's when the spelling WAS Gaol (or was it Goal??? :whistle)   :grin

This is worth a read... https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/archived/booksandarts/jail-or-gaol-how-should-australia-spell-it/7532694

Cheers  >:()


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16408 on: February 05, 2020, 05:43:21 PM »
Lighten up, it's just humour / humor (whichever floats your boat) No need to dive in so deep.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16409 on: February 05, 2020, 05:46:16 PM »
It's the devil at work.  We're on page 666.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16410 on: February 05, 2020, 07:39:36 PM »
Americans really get angry about politicians not paying taxes...

...but they forget that their country is independent, because some previous politicians didn't want to pay taxes.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16411 on: February 05, 2020, 07:44:48 PM »
Trump only legalised marijuana to pay for his wall with the tax revenue.

... This really stirred the pot.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16412 on: February 05, 2020, 07:50:35 PM »
The Russians have developed a very powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Or as they call him, “Agent Orange”.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16413 on: February 05, 2020, 07:53:45 PM »
LAPD were sent to train Iraqi Police, and find Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train the Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message to Army command:

It's over. We have found weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16414 on: February 06, 2020, 12:10:12 AM »
Lighten up, it's just humour / humor (whichever floats your boat) No need to dive in so deep.

 :butt  :nahnah :p  :grin


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16415 on: February 06, 2020, 06:49:46 AM »
Attila's wife walks in the door.

"I'm home, Hun!"
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16416 on: February 06, 2020, 07:12:59 AM »
My friend told me that he taped over the camera on his phone, because he's afraid of being spied on.

I laughed

He laughed

The smartphone laughed
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16417 on: February 06, 2020, 08:52:17 AM »
Would a man with 2 donkeys be - Biased?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16418 on: February 06, 2020, 09:12:22 AM »
Not sure but if you let them talk long enough they'll both be a litte hoarse.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16420 on: February 06, 2020, 09:43:14 AM »
Hospital gowns are much like insurance.

You think you’re covered, but you’re not.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16421 on: February 06, 2020, 03:15:41 PM »
Patient: I’m addicted to watching the film Grease.

Psychiatrist: Tell me more, tell me more.

Patient: I make my girlfriend watch it with me every day.

Psychiatrist: Does she put up a fight?

Patient: Sometimes, yeah.

Psychiatrist: Well, that’s women for you... summer lovin’, some aren’t.

Patient: I guess?

Psychiatrist: ... are you not clocking the references I’m doing?

Patient: Oh! ... no. Maybe it’s not as bad as I thought?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16422 on: February 06, 2020, 05:58:47 PM »
My girlfriend just started working at a grease factory ...


Damn! It's hard to get ahold of her now.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16423 on: February 06, 2020, 06:03:50 PM »
Hospital gowns are much like insurance.

You think you’re covered, but you’re not.

Both come with strings attached.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16424 on: February 06, 2020, 06:04:26 PM »
My girlfriend just started working at a grease factory ...
Damn! It's hard to get ahold of her now.

Given both of your ages you probably need the lubricant.
 
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