Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3047979 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16775 on:** February 24, 2020, 11:40:59 AM »

Dozens of people in my neighbourhood have ceased watching NetFlix.

The mongrel has changed his password!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16776 on:** February 24, 2020, 11:46:25 AM »

The latest Governmental report on circumcisions said that a number of dickheads have been exposed.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16777 on:** February 24, 2020, 01:36:53 PM »

Motorcycle escort for Trumps limo...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16778 on:** February 24, 2020, 02:44:41 PM »

Let me tell you about my Uncle Ernie.
He drank furniture polish, and died.

It’s a sad story with a beautiful finish.

Bodø · « **Reply #16779 on:** February 24, 2020, 03:51:22 PM »

I heard he'd gone to the attic before dying. That takes the story to a whole new level.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16780 on:** February 24, 2020, 05:56:23 PM »

I get an SMS from my girlfriend 7pm Friday night "Me or football tonight?!"

10pm I reply back: "You, of course."

Bodø · « **Reply #16781 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:09:48 PM »

Hopefully someone scored.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16782 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:13:24 PM »

Well, it wasn't me.

Bodø · « **Reply #16783 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:17:51 PM »

You must have been caught offside.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16784 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:20:19 PM »

No, I was half full on the fence!

(Left right out)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16785 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:25:33 PM »

Hey Bodø, which route are you taking to Curdievale for the RTE?

Bodø · « **Reply #16786 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:53:34 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 24, 2020, 06:25:33 PM

Hey Bodø, which route are you taking to Curdievale for the RTE?

Just mentioned in that thread I should pull my finger out and start planning a route. Friday after work going to Bordertown as I did on the way to Smythesdale in septemeber and Tasmania in november. Booked into the same room as I had for those trips. I'll open google maps and plan saturday's route later this week.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16787 on:** February 24, 2020, 06:58:25 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16788 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:14:56 PM »

A wife told her husband that he put football before their marriage.

“That’s not true,” he said. “After all, this is our fourth season together.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16789 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:16:08 PM »

Would a Spanish footballer with no legs be called Gracias?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16790 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:17:05 PM »

I was offered a job as a noise pollution officer... but I had to turn it down.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16791 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:21:46 PM »

The only thing flat earthers fear, is sphere itself

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16792 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:24:55 PM »

The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for several months now, proving the country does not belong to China.

Nothing made in China ever lasts more than a week or two.

Shillas · « **Reply #16793 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:25:04 PM »

Funningly enough, I am an authorised noise pollution officer. I didn't turn it down. Sometimes I turn it up.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16794 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:28:26 PM »

I once dated a girl that owned a parrot. Bloody thing was so damned rowdy, and would never stop squawking.

Her parrot was pretty cool, though.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16795 on:** February 24, 2020, 08:35:09 PM »

Two things that never get old...

Dark humour and un-vaccinated children.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16796 on:** February 25, 2020, 12:37:01 AM »

The worst thing about a lung transplant, is that the first bit of slime you cough up is not yours.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16797 on:** February 25, 2020, 01:07:09 AM »

The Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life."

But alas, John came fifth, and won the toaster instead.

Bodø · « **Reply #16798 on:** February 25, 2020, 03:46:17 AM »

Quote from: Shillas on February 24, 2020, 08:25:04 PM

Funningly enough, I am an authorised noise pollution officer. I didn't turn it down. Sometimes I turn it up.

Turn it in.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #16799 on:** February 25, 2020, 09:45:01 AM »

Diarrhoea Is Genetic.

It runs in your genes.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3047979 times)

Bodø

Bodø

Bodø

Bodø

Bodø