Things you didn't know about Chuck Norris

[JuST Peter]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?   All of it.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

[Shiney]

  I love the Chuck Norris "Facts"

[JuST Peter]

  I'll have to do some more digging

[JuST Peter]

Top 25 reasons not to upset Chuck Norris

25
Chuck Norris once killed 37 terrorists with only 2 bullets….the first bullet was a warning shot.


24
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.

23
Once, a cop pulled over Chuck Norris….the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

22
Chuck Norris's e-mail address is yahoo@ChuckNorris.com

21
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight. The knife lost.

20
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.

19
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

18
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.

17
Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.

16
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

15
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook you can feel it.

14
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

13
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.


12
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.


11
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

10
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups — that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth up and down.


9
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

8
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night!

7
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

6
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

5
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris…. Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

4
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

3
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees… Celsius.


2
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

1
Chuck Norris does not know about this list. If he did he would have deleted the internet.

[Shiney]

 

[Kev Murphy]