Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068617 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7650 on:** May 29, 2018, 03:05:30 AM »

I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I left my bike in the car park at the pub, and took a bus home...

That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7651 on:** May 29, 2018, 03:14:09 AM »

Temples are free to enter but still empty.

Pubs charge to enter, but are full.

Why do people ignore inner peace & choose to pay for self destruction?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7652 on:** May 29, 2018, 03:18:03 AM »

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money?

On the plus side, he makes pretty good Subway sandwiches and shakes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7653 on:** May 29, 2018, 03:22:59 AM »

My missus said that if I don't get off the computer and go cut the lawn, she'll slam my head on the keyboard,
but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7654 on:** May 29, 2018, 03:26:07 AM »

Diplomacy is the act of remembering her birthday, but not her age.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7655 on:** May 29, 2018, 04:19:03 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7656 on:** May 29, 2018, 12:42:15 PM »

Blonde takes her son to the Doctor "He swallowed my house key!" she said.

Doc asked "When did this happen?"

"About ten days ago."

"Why did you leave it so long before bringing him to me?"

"Well, I had a duplicate, but I misplaced it this morning."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7657 on:** May 29, 2018, 12:52:33 PM »

Where did the terrorist go after he detonated his bomb?

... Everywhere.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7658 on:** May 29, 2018, 01:03:47 PM »

I have decided to grow my own food.

Can anyone tell me where I can purchase bacon seeds?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7659 on:** May 29, 2018, 01:18:21 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7660 on:** May 29, 2018, 02:41:06 PM »

Here is todays giggle for you... created just a few minutes ago...

https://youtu.be/i5vAsg4Gmig

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7661 on:** May 29, 2018, 04:11:15 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7662 on:** May 29, 2018, 04:12:06 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7663 on:** May 29, 2018, 04:22:08 PM »

When the Beatles released 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' I had a friend who misheard the lyrics.
He used to sing "The girl with colitis goes by" instead of "The girl with Kaleidoscope eyes"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7664 on:** May 30, 2018, 05:05:00 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7665 on:** May 30, 2018, 05:05:25 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7666 on:** May 30, 2018, 05:11:35 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7667 on:** May 30, 2018, 05:16:00 AM »

Teacher "Johnny, if you had ten chocolate biscuits, and 3 friends asked you for one each,
how many would you have left?"

Johnny "TEN!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7668 on:** May 30, 2018, 09:57:19 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7669 on:** May 30, 2018, 01:12:14 PM »

Our weather forecast here for today, is for 'passing' showers.

After looking out the window at the misery outside, I would replace the letter 'a' in the word with the letter 'i'.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7670 on:** May 30, 2018, 01:30:37 PM »

Received an email from Woolworths, listing my 'personalised' items which are currently on special offer, based on my non-existent 'recent search' ??
WHAT search?

Of the 20 items listed, I have never in my entire life purchased any of them?

E.G.: When I wash my hands, I use soap. I have no use for some overpriced, unheard-of brand of 'eco-friendly, organic, low-fat, genetically-modified, gluten-free, anti-bacterial, low-sugar, high-protein hand cleaner.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7671 on:** May 30, 2018, 06:18:19 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7672 on:** May 31, 2018, 12:20:59 PM »

There is a Google camera vehicle driving around Portland at the moment, updating street view.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7673 on:** May 31, 2018, 12:58:19 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on May 31, 2018, 12:20:59 PM

There is a Google camera vehicle driving around Portland at the moment, updating street view.

I got snapped by one on my Queensland trip last year. I keep checking but as yet is not updated.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7674 on:** May 31, 2018, 01:06:10 PM »

Our current street view images are dated Jan 2010 .. still shows my now non existent work van parked outside my flat.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3068617 times)

Bodø Glimt