Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2926321 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7625 on: May 27, 2018, 03:42:19 PM »
As I sit at the keyboard here on a cold day, nibbling popcorn, and cheese and bacon Cheetos and contemplating the meaning of life,
(The number 42 keeps invading my thoughts) I wonder... is there anything else to life other than sitting here at the keyboard on a cold day,
nibbling popcorn, and cheese and bacon Cheetos and speculating the number 42?
I really must pull myself out of this rut.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7626 on: May 27, 2018, 03:43:54 PM »
Looks more nourishing that what I am staring at, Bodø  :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7627 on: May 27, 2018, 05:04:22 PM »
Woman with bulimia went to Confession
"Father, I have bulimia, I binge eat and then force myself to throw up, and as a conseqence I am badly underweight. What should I do?"
"Repent! .. 3 Hail Marys, and thin no more!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7628 on: May 27, 2018, 11:21:33 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7629 on: May 28, 2018, 02:11:55 AM »
Some little known Proverbs

In the 21st Century no husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.

Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checques.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7630 on: May 28, 2018, 02:18:34 AM »
You know that you have an alcohol problem when mosquitos catch a buzz
after attacking you, and the garden shrubbery is drunk from too frequent watering.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7631 on: May 28, 2018, 02:26:36 AM »
Reasons for allowing drinking at work include:

1. It's a great incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
9. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
10. It makes fellow employees look better.
11. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
12. Your Boss is more likely to hand out pay increases when he is wasted.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7632 on: May 28, 2018, 02:43:19 AM »
Introducing FeMail!

This new product will reduce your communications needs considerably.
Its intuitive interactions will often leave you scratching your head in wonder.
From your minimal communications with this package, it will quickly presume
who your friends are (and even what their habits are), who you should be
communicating with in order to advance your career, and let you know
continually whether you are communicating effectively with the FeMail itself.

You may find that FeMail reduces your unecessary communications with
friends and associates. Your FeMail will intercept incoming communications
from all sources and make a determination as to whether or not they
should be relayed to you.
The FeMail is especially thorough when examining messages from other FeMail systems.
These messages will be examined for intent, as well as content.

Messages that are received from other Mails will be scanned for intention by your FeMail.
Any messages that will reduce your productivity at home or at the office (invitations to
bars or parties, where the FeMail may lose contact with you (for more than two hours
for example) will be delivered to you only after they can no longer be acted upon.
A true productivity increase is then possible, and your FeMail will even help your decide
how to use this spare time to attend to home maintenance issues.

In fact, you may find that the FeMail methods are far beyond your comprehension.
Often times the FeMail responses you receive will be 180 degrees different than the
direction you thought you were heading.
In every case though, you will be compelled to agree with the decisions that your FeMail makes.
Most areas where FeMail is installed find that agreeing with the FeMail is easier than
attempting to justify opposing logic.

The FeMail package includes modules for Cognitive Interpretation, Intuition, Presumptions,
Innuendos (even some you may not realize), Inflection, and Encryption.
(The encryption package is particularly effective, allowing other mails absolutely no chance
of interpreting interchanges between two FeMails).

You will find yourself becoming dependent on the interactions that a FeMail makes possible.
Once the FeMail begins working in your daily activities, you may find yourself changing
certain actions to avoid conflicting with the FeMail suggestions.

The FeMail is extremely comprehensive, and provides only for a single user interface in most cases.
The instructions included with your FeMail indicates that it may interact openly with other Mails in
a conversational mode, but that you should never interact with someone elses FeMail, even in
a conversational mode, and most certainly not in an interactive mode.
The FeMail communications links have demonstrated an ability to intuit these actions even if
you believe your FeMail would be unaware of the interaction.
Continued interaction with FeMails that are not your own will be considered a security violation,
and you may find yourself cutoff from interaction with your own FeMail.

Because of the complexity and high-level of interface required, there are certain times
(based roughly on a lunar month) when your FeMail system may behave erratically.
During this particular cycle, your interactions with the FeMail should be monitored closely,
and offensive or interpretive language removed.
The FeMail may misinterpret even simple communications efforts during this short time.
This is an unavoidable problem that the FeMail has endured since its inception, and we are still
attempting to overcome this minor glitch.

Should a misinterpretation occur, your FeMail will store the data indefinitely, and only recall
the misinterpretation when it can loosely associate it with other facts not necessarily related
to the communications process.
You will find these recollections and associations puzzling, but they all contribute to the
operation of the FeMail system.

Obtain Femail today, and you will be surprised at the permanent changes it will make to your life!!!!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7633 on: May 28, 2018, 02:54:52 AM »
   :spank
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7634 on: May 28, 2018, 09:12:35 AM »
Understanding Engineers


 The difference between Mechanical Engineers, and Civil  Engineers.

 Mechanical Engineers build weapons.

 Civil Engineers build targets.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7635 on: May 28, 2018, 10:31:19 AM »
Todays dose of Karma.

Guy on a Yammy 900 was in the right lane just ahead of myself and a mate in his car this morning.
We were both traveling at the posted limit of 50k.
Impatient driver was tailgating the Yammy, and blasted his horn. Yammy rider glanced at us in his left mirror, and gave the throttle a squirt as he indicated to change lanes.
Impatient driver accelerated past the bike and glared across at the rider, mouthing off, and flipped him. His car drifted slightly to the right, mounted the kerb and took out a traffic advisory sign on the median strip, all in full view of a waiting patrol car on our left at the intersection.

Justice! :butt
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Online Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7636 on: May 28, 2018, 10:37:12 AM »
That will be one happy copper, his performance stats for the day are done, now to drink coffee and eat donuts
Brock
Asian Correspondent
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Kinross WA
 
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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7637 on: May 28, 2018, 07:05:05 PM »
Todays dose of Karma.

Guy on a Yammy 900 was in the right lane just ahead of myself and a mate in his car this morning.
We were both traveling at the posted limit of 50k.
Impatient driver was tailgating the Yammy, and blasted his horn. Yammy rider glanced at us in his left mirror, and gave the throttle a squirt as he indicated to change lanes.
Impatient driver accelerated past the bike and glared across at the rider, mouthing off, and flipped him. His car drifted slightly to the right, mounted the kerb and took out a traffic advisory sign on the median strip, all in full view of a waiting patrol car on our left at the intersection.

Justice! :butt
:rofl

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Cheers,
Gary
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Then  :blu13 Now :Spyder
Life's too short to be miserable, so enjoy it! :)
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Mob: 04 2448 3555
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7638 on: May 28, 2018, 08:43:01 PM »
A rowdy thunderstorm with a great light show overhead here at the moment.

Its a bit crowded under the bed here with my cats  :p
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7639 on: May 28, 2018, 08:45:41 PM »
Rain is now hammering down
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7640 on: May 28, 2018, 08:52:33 PM »
10mm of rain in less than 10 mins
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7641 on: May 28, 2018, 10:32:30 PM »
A rowdy thunderstorm with a great light show overhead here at the moment.

Had that & heavy rain around 6.30 here in Adelaide Hills
Shillas :13Candy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7642 on: May 28, 2018, 11:24:20 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7643 on: May 28, 2018, 11:29:13 PM »
Second wave of thunder lightning and rain has just commenced, but it's not as fierce as earlier.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7644 on: May 28, 2018, 11:33:47 PM »
I think I spoke too soon... it's belting down hail now. Won't last long.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7645 on: May 28, 2018, 11:40:53 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7646 on: May 28, 2018, 11:58:20 PM »
20 minutes and the weather has passed again... 17mm in those two cloud bursts in the past 3 hours. Only light showers now.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7647 on: May 29, 2018, 12:01:08 AM »
Why is it that Facial Recognition Software can pick a person out of a crowd, yet a vending machine wont accept a note because it has a wrinkled corner?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7648 on: May 29, 2018, 02:54:08 AM »
Looking outside now at the calm conditions, clear sky and bright moonlight, one would never know what the weather has been just a few hours ago.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7649 on: May 29, 2018, 03:00:18 AM »
Transitional age is when during a hot day, you don't know what you want ...

 – an ice cream or a beer.
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