Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059553 times)

Bodø · « **Reply #10475 on:** January 20, 2019, 06:17:47 PM »

Kaynein chelydra serpentina

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10476 on:** January 20, 2019, 06:22:33 PM »

(SNAP!)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10477 on:** January 20, 2019, 06:49:28 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10478 on:** January 21, 2019, 06:29:44 PM »

Hot day today... American friend dropped by and said "Hey! ... lets go to the beach!"

I replied "Give me a minute to put my thongs on!"

He gave me the strangest of looks... ?

Shillas · « **Reply #10479 on:** January 21, 2019, 08:11:09 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on January 20, 2019, 07:00:00 AM

A guy had a mute guard dog that he named 'Vampire', because he was all bite and no bark.

A Basenji?

Shillas · « **Reply #10480 on:** January 21, 2019, 08:13:34 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on January 21, 2019, 06:29:44 PM

Hot day today... American friend dropped by and said "Hey! ... lets go to the beach!"

I replied "Give me a minute to put my thongs on!"

He gave me the strangest of looks... ?

And I bet he had his fanny pack on

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10481 on:** January 21, 2019, 08:17:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10482 on:** January 21, 2019, 09:13:35 PM »

If your wife or girlfriend ever asks :
"If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?"

When you answer, do not EVER give two names!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10483 on:** January 22, 2019, 03:57:49 AM »

My optician is a smartarse! ... I damn near went crosseyed trying to read the chart!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10484 on:** January 22, 2019, 04:01:09 AM »

Only in Melbourne, where you have to pack a wooly jumper and a raincoat for a summer day at the beach ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10485 on:** January 22, 2019, 04:08:52 AM »

When the rain stopped and the Ark landed, the animals were happily skipping off two by two, except for two tardy elephants.

Noah called "C'mon you two! ... hurry up!"

One elephant replied "We'll be there in a minute ... gotta pack our trunks!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10486 on:** January 22, 2019, 04:16:46 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10487 on:** January 22, 2019, 05:27:23 AM »

Joined the local incontinence group! (Also known as the Piston Club)

One leak, and you're in! (Urine)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10488 on:** January 22, 2019, 04:29:16 PM »

There was a commotion in the Bank.

A Blonde was distressed, exclaiming, "Where will I put my money?! I have all my money and my mortgage here!!
What will happen to my mortgage?!"

It turned out that she had misunderstood a small sign on the counter.
The sign read, WE WILL BE CLOSED FOR GOOD FRIDAY.

I guess Easter was not uppermost in her thoughts, because she thought that the bank was going to close "for good" on Friday.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10489 on:** January 22, 2019, 07:34:41 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10490 on:** January 22, 2019, 07:41:52 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10491 on:** January 23, 2019, 02:29:01 AM »

What do you call a black person on the moon?

... An ASTRONAUT, you racist mongrel!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10492 on:** January 23, 2019, 02:34:07 AM »

... and I never said a word about Prince Phillip, or lack of seatbelt.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10493 on:** January 23, 2019, 02:47:04 AM »

Bodø · « **Reply #10494 on:** January 23, 2019, 03:30:27 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on January 23, 2019, 02:29:01 AM

What do you call a black person on the moon?
... An ASTRONAUT, you racist mongrel!

No one mentioned race but you.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10495 on:** January 23, 2019, 12:39:53 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10496 on:** January 23, 2019, 12:42:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10497 on:** January 23, 2019, 01:05:23 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10498 on:** January 23, 2019, 05:59:48 PM »

I saw a fat person wearing a tee shirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10499 on:** January 23, 2019, 06:03:12 PM »

My next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes.

I think he's catalytic converted.

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Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059553 times)

Bodø

Bodø