Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3069440 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13750 on:** September 05, 2019, 11:12:55 AM »

Hippopotamuses can outrun a human on land or in the water.

So if you’re in a triathlon against a hippo, you really have to make up time in the bicycle segment.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13751 on:** September 05, 2019, 01:17:21 PM »

I need a new chain.

Anyone got any links?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13752 on:** September 05, 2019, 01:17:54 PM »

The girlfriend texted, "Love you, babe xxx"

I replied, "Love you too, babe."

She wrote, "It'd mean a lot to me if you would start putting some x's at the end of your messages, babe xxx"

I answered, "Okay, babe ... Linda, Mary, Judy, Barbara, Leanne....."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13753 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:03:13 PM »

Dating in your 30s is like registering a domain name...

All the good ones are taken, but you can always get one from an exotic country...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13754 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:26:49 PM »

2.25 pm

Portland 18.4°C .. niiice!

... but the sunshine has gone in the past couple of minutes, and its crashing thunder outside!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13755 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:32:38 PM »

2.32 pm

Portland 15.4°C

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13756 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:39:58 PM »

2.36 pm

Portland 12.8°C

... and now, it's raining. And windy. aaaaand some hail!

NTRebel · « **Reply #13757 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:40:36 PM »

2pm 33.2 feels like 25.8.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13758 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:45:10 PM »

Two pics, taken a few minutes apart.... Time is out by an hour.

NTRebel · « **Reply #13759 on:** September 05, 2019, 02:47:58 PM »

What u coomplaining about Kev that's lovely Victorian weather.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13760 on:** September 05, 2019, 03:01:26 PM »

About normal, Paul. First front has passed, but there's another thunderstorm coming, about an hour or so away yet.
Had 8mm of rain in past 30 minutes, and still coming down.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13761 on:** September 05, 2019, 03:21:36 PM »

That was a pretty wild 45 minutes, rain and wind has ceased (for the moment), but can now hear the second thundergrump coming from the northwest.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13762 on:** September 05, 2019, 04:41:22 PM »

Well, the second storm surge skirted around Portland and headed out to sea, it was a non-event.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13763 on:** September 05, 2019, 05:47:09 PM »

Total current rain totalled 10 mm in less than an hour, temp has snuck up to 13.3

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13764 on:** September 05, 2019, 05:50:47 PM »

I've just got back from the hospital where the nurse asked me " Could you pee in the cup?"

I thought, I'm good, but I'm not quite competition standard.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13765 on:** September 05, 2019, 05:52:00 PM »

The English Women's world cup team visited an orphanage.

"They looked helpless. They had a lack of hope in their eyes...."

... said Aurora, aged 3.

Bodø · « **Reply #13766 on:** September 05, 2019, 06:31:31 PM »

At the last world cup England eliminated Norway, Norway eliminated Australia so I think it's fair to say they have more potential than some.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13767 on:** September 05, 2019, 06:39:35 PM »

My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleep on the sofa.
I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.

(…with a really grumpy angry bear somewhere close by)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13768 on:** September 05, 2019, 10:01:18 PM »

The original punishment for smoking fatal levels of weed?

You would be stoned to death.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13769 on:** September 05, 2019, 10:12:25 PM »

When I was a teen my dad caught me smoking a cigarette, and for punishment made me smoke until I puked.

The following weekend I made sure that he caught me in bed with my girlfriend.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13770 on:** September 05, 2019, 10:18:25 PM »

Two old men are talking about capital punishment.

The first old man says "I never did like it. My grandpappy was the last man hanged in this here state"

Second old timer, is surprised since they've known each other for a long time, "You never told me that before, - what did he do?"

First man thinks about it for a second and answers, "Well... he just sorta swung gently back and forth in the breeze for a bit".

Shillas · « **Reply #13771 on:** September 05, 2019, 11:44:19 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on September 05, 2019, 05:52:00 PM

The English Women's world cup team visited an orphanage.

"They looked helpless. They had a lack of hope in their eyes...."

... said Aurora, aged 3.

Shillas · « **Reply #13772 on:** September 05, 2019, 11:48:58 PM »

Quote from: Bodø on September 05, 2019, 06:31:31 PM

At the last world cup England eliminated Norway, Norway eliminated Australia so I think it's fair to say they have more potential than some.

Norway were in the Cricket World Cup?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13773 on:** September 05, 2019, 11:58:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #13774 on:** September 06, 2019, 01:09:49 AM »

Giving your husband the silent treatment to punish him, is like trying to drown a fish!

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3069440 times)

Bodø